we had an argument about an issue we just dont see eye to eye on we jut look at it different.. were both annoyed at each other.. not sure how to make it right so we can get back to normal life..... any ideas.... yes been married 12 years and still have these issues...(yuck)
2007-10-01 05:53:39 · 10 answers · asked by halfman_hafamazn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the words that were told to me by my grandmother were wise ones....Agree to disagree and drop it...
2007-10-01 06:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by blue moon lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not real sure what the points of contention on the issue are or how integral the issue is in your life, but what i find works well is to make sure you validate her points. An argument that ends with the good old, you're wrong and I'm right just adds to the dissension...
If you can agree that her viewpoint is valid and that you guys can agree to disagree, you stand a better chance of moving forward on this than if you just disagree without ever seeing where the other spouse is coming form. Plus when you reach out to her with the idea that you really are trying to see her side and understand her feelings, her defenses drop and she's likely to become more receptive to your point of view as well.
End the discussion with something like "you've given me a lot to consider and really think about - do you mind if for now we agree to disagree. I need to really think about the new perspective you've given me" THEN do it! think about where she's coming from and try to stand in her shoes, thinking about her life experiences and see if there's a middle ground you guys can agree on. If not, move on. If so, let her know.
Good luck.
2007-10-01 06:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pal...you've been married 12 years and still don't know how to handle this?
How about just saying nothing and carry on as per usual? Or...tell her "Sorry dear...I feel bad that we argued the way we did because usually we can come to some terms of agreement in a much more civil manner".
Tell her that the issue is inconsequential anyway and let it go.
Sometimes being the first to knuckle under makes life easier. Save the arguments for the real imporatant life-affecting crap.
2007-10-01 06:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you know it is an issue with no apparent resolution, then sit her down, tell her you respect and understand feelings on both sides and that from now on you would like to place that issue off limits because you both know it will lead to an argument. Tell her you love her and that both of you can agree to disagree and leave it alone. If she wants to bring it up to you just remind her: don't start an argument and there won't be one. Best of luck.
2007-10-01 06:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her out to a candlelight dinner somewhere. Get a table in the corner. Tell her that you can agree to disagree sometimes. You don't say what the issue is. Maybe she wants to get a job and you won't let her? Compromise. Let her get a part-time job. Get it? You compromise. Try it.
2007-10-01 05:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
12 years! You should already know the answer to that question, because you should already know what would make your wife happy.
Think about it. What would she love to see you do? Would she love hearing you tell her how much you love her? Would she love hearing you say you could never live without her? Would she love if you made love instead of having sex? Would she love if you helped her cook, clean and take care of the children?
C'mon, you know what she would love. Men don't know how exciting they could make woman when they just do little things like I've listed above. That's a man!
2007-10-01 06:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call the florist and order some flowers. You should know how after 12 years.
2007-10-01 05:58:56 · answer #7 · answered by Your #1 fan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sorry? If so, say so.
The thing is, you can be sorry about upsetting her without being sorry for what you said. If you said what you really believe, then you should stick with it. Truth is always best, even if it hurts.
2007-10-01 05:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by AngiesHusband 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
advice tat always work for me, agree with everything even if you don't like it believe me it will keep her happy and quiet lol.
2007-10-01 06:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by nabizzle18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize...Would you rather be right or happy.
Agree to disagree
2007-10-01 06:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋