2007-10-01 05:33:19 · 10 answers · asked by luna 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
This girl bought a jigsaw puzzle and started working on it when she came home from work. It had a picture of a tiger on it. She couldn't figure out how to put it together, and it was kicking her ***, so she calls up her boy friend and says:
Girl: Can you please come over and help me with this jigsaw puzzle? It's kicking my ***.
Boy: I can't right now, I'll come over later. What's the picture on the puzzle?
Girl: It's a picture of a tiger. No, you need to come over right now, I need to finish this puzzle, but it's really kicking my ***, you have to come over here.
Boy: Ok, I'll be right over.
The boy gets to his girlfriends house, walks in and notices a long table on the floor, with the puzzle on it, pieces scattered everywhere. He walks to the girl and says:
Boy: Ok what you need to do is calm down. Make a cup of tea and relax, then I'll help you put the frosted flakes back in the box.
2007-10-01 06:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A guy is driving down a highway towards Wash. D.C. when traffic comes to a compete stop for about 30 min. He then sees someone approaching from up ahead and he asks, "What's the problem?" He is told that there are terrorists who are holding George Bush, Condoleeza Rice, Dick Chaney and Al Gore hostage and are demanding a $5 million dollar ransom, or they will douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. The man is taking up a collection. The driver asks, "On average , how much are people giving?" The guy says, "About a gallon".
2007-10-01 05:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two dwarfs go into a bar where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that from the next room he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again... ONE, TWO, THREE..... UHH!" all night long.
In the morning the second dwarf asks the first "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection"
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?
I couldn't even get on the bed!"
2007-10-01 05:36:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is my 10 year old's favorite joke.
A duck walks into a store and tries on some lipstick and decided to buy it. She says to the clerk "Put it on my bill!"
And my 5 year old's favorite joke is
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Boo"
"Boo who?"
"Do not cry it cannot be that bad!"
Chin up.
Peace.
2007-10-01 05:43:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A couple over 90 years, was listening to the "holy radio station" when the priest over the radio said: "Put one hand on a body part that you want to be healed and one hand on the radio, I will heal you!!"
The old lady, puts her hand on the radio, the other on her heart.
Her husband puts his hand on the radio and the other one on his "private part" to which his old wife says: "He said he would "heal" it not "rise" from the dead!!!!
2007-10-01 05:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
2 muffins are sitting in the oven.
One muffin looks over to the other, and says, "Wow.... it's hot in here".
The other muffin says, "Oh my God!! A talking muffin"!!!!
2007-10-01 05:37:29 · answer #6 · answered by Less than zero (<0) 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why were E.T.'s eyes so big?
He saw his phonebill.
2007-10-01 05:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
knock knock
who is there
me
2007-10-01 05:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL
2007-10-01 09:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno, look in your hand...
2007-10-01 05:37:16 · answer #10 · answered by bobemac 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋