Heres something I don't Understand?

Question

I know people are tired of the "Am I Gay?" or "What makes people gay?" question, but I need to know something. People say that its genetics and stuff. What if you never knew anything about homosexuality. For example, and I'm being honest here, I did not know homosexuality even existed until I turned 13. It just never came to mind. Not even heterosexual relationships were in my head. We don't talk about it at home so I found out accidentally on the internet. When I learned more about it, I started judging my own self, since I never wanted to go with boys. Look, I don't know if its just puberty, late genes, or some teen phase, but if you can understand what I'm saying here, it would really help all this confusion.

Thanx everyone. You gave me alot to think about. I'm sure the answer will come in time.

Answer 1

If you ask most gays and lesbians they will tell you that even when they didn't know the word "homosexual" they knew they were still "different."

I'm bisexual and always knew I was attracted to both genders, pretty much equally. I knew this wasn't the "norm" but I knew it was me. No, I didn't know there was a word for it until much later, but I always knew it was who I was.
Then when I did hear about Homosexuals, I heard it in the worst context and assumed everyone hated those who were gay/lesbian. I also learned that because of those who hated gays and lesbians it was something to be ashamed of, something to hide.
It took me until I was nearly thirty years old before I could fully accept who I was and not be affraid of what some others might think.

My story isn't unique at all. It's fairly common among gays and lesbian my age. (EARLY forties and late thirties)

Answer 2

You aren't told you're gay. You just know. It may take a while to admit it to yourself and to the world but if you're gay, a tv programme or magazine article isn't going to change that.

It's not like religion where you don't know it until you're told about it, it is you and something that you really can't change.

Being gay isn't about "judging" oneself and to think so shows a real lack of understanding.

If you were gay in this world and knew how hard it is to admit that to others, would you really try to make that happen? I think too many people forget the humanity of others - and themselves - and get caught up with what they're told and don't bother to think for themselves.

I can tell you my brother - who goes to church every Sunday - didn't look at tv or a website and decide: "Oh, I'm gay".
That is laughable.

Officer Uggh: Ah, yes! That old argument. So, in other words, heterosexual CHOOSE to be that way. Sure, if you say so.

Answer 3

I do definitely understand what you're saying. Although I must admitt I'm not gay myself, I relate to the fact about knowing nothing about sexual relationships until about the same age as you. I even have two gay godfathers who I'm very close to, who always came to stay (and therefore stayed in the same room, in the same bed) but it never just clicked with me really. I can't even remember how I found out in the end - probably from television or kids at school. But my parents never made a huge fuss about explaining all that to me. In today's society, children are finding out SO much stuff for themselves, at younger and younger ages. And the fact that I just accepted my godfathers since I was little, helped me to just better accept homosexuality. Whilst I noticed friends get all squirmish about it, I thought it was just one of those things, and was very normal. But it got me thinking...cuz I believe, from what people who are close to me, are gay have told me, that it's something in your brain, that you're born with. You just always know. So if there was some kid living out in the desert at a farm miles away from anything, had no television or computer, and his/her parents never chose to tell them about homosexuality, they would still know. So even though I may not share all the same experiences with you, I certainly share thoughts and agree with you. :)

Answer 4

whoever told you thathomosexualety was in the genes was very VERY wrong I thought it was just a teen pahse too but around last year when I turend 15 I realize through 2 years I liked girls and guys so then I knew it wasnt JUST a phase it was something that I grew up to be so I was bisexual my family would never accept me being bisexual cause they clearly dont like gays,lesbians,transgendered people

Answer 5

You are just starting to realize your sexuality. When I was 12 and 13, I used to have lesbian dreams about this lady that worked at the bank in our town. It doesn't mean that you are a lesbian, it just means that your body(and mind) is starting to feel sexual. It is a lot to take in and your mind has to figure it out. Don't worry too much about it. If you were a lesbian, you would already know.(seriously you would, because, you would have been finding woman attractive already and maybe fantasized about women).

Answer 6

You are still too young at 13 to judge. It is normal for that young a girl to be disinterested in boys at that age. You will soon find out how you really feel, don't rush it.

Answer 7

I completely understand... when I was little and my mom told me that there was a possibility of dating women... and I knew that made more sense to me... I just... always... liked girls. And when that fact was brought up... everything changed, for me. I fought it all middle school, and the later part of highschool, but it was true... I was/am a lesbian...

I don't know... it's difficult to explain. Sorry. But I know what you mean!

Answer 8

I don't believe it is right to be gay. I believe people entertain certain ideas and try and place themselves into categories. In society today, many embrace the idea easily because it is becoming an accepted norm. You, in my opinion, are too young for sexual awareness. One does not become fully aware of what makes them truly excited until they mature emotionally, physically, and mentally more. Maybe I'm wrong, but at your age, you should be focused on school.

Answer 9

Determinism is what drives people to say that they're born gay. I have no problem with someone else being a homosexual but to say that you were 'born that way' is absolutely ignoring philosophy, psychology, free will and what it means to be a human being. Don't demean your sexuality by excusing it as a purely savage act.

Answer 10

Have you started puberty? If not it may just be your hormones have not kicked in yet. When they do you will know which sex you prefer.