For those in a physical or mental abusive relationships.Why do you stay?
2007-10-01 03:21:31 · 18 answers · asked by lollypop 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since i've been on this site there are so many people who feel broken or are having so many major problems in thier relationship.I was just wondering why do you stay.
2007-10-01 03:24:51 · update #1
I was in a mental and physical marriage for 10 yrs and i felt like nobody would love me like he did and i would never find anyone who would want me,and without him i would be alone.Wrong.I got the courage to leave and my kids and i found a wonderful man who takes care of us and who loves me and my kids.8yrs now.Somebody else will love you and will want you.
2007-10-01 03:30:53 · update #2
Well my mother stayed in an abusive relationship because every time she left he would hunt her down and find her and beat the hell out of her for leaving so she got beat less if she just stayed....also it is a mental thing too, he would put her down so badly that he made her feel so worthless and no one else in the world would ever love her and then she just felt so helpless. Also a man who beats a woman tends to isolate her so that she will feel more alone and vulnerable.
My relationship personally is wonderful i took every character trait that my dad possessed and found a man that was the complete opposite of everything i knew
2007-10-01 03:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am no longer in an abusive relationship, but I was once.
I can tell you that from my experience, he made me feel ugly, unable to support myself, and embarrassed that I wasn't able to keep my marriage together. Whenever I would get gutsy enough to suggest that I might leave, he'd immediately start throwing in my face how young I was and how nobody else would ever want me because I was young and had a baby and ugly and would be divorced if I left him. If that didn't work, he'd start crying and telling me how sorry he was and how he needed me to be around because he couldn't live without me. How I made him feel like he could be a better person and if I left he'd have no hope. I would be guilted into staying.
People say it's because we're stupid and they're partly right, but until you've been brainwashed into believing something about yourself, there's no way anyone can understand. People should have a little more respect.
2007-10-01 03:30:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My relationship is awesome! And I've never been in a physically or mentally abusive relationship, but as someone who studied interpersonal communication in college, I can say that most people who stay in such a relationship have deep-seated emotional issues, possibly stemming back from childhood, that give them the feeling of being unworthy of love, so they fall into the trap of being abused by someone because they are afraid that they don't deserve a healthy relationship, and also because they have such feelings of inferiority that they think it is their fault that their partner abuses them. It is very sad, and I hope the people out there who are in relationships like that can find a way to get the proper counseling they need to build up their self-esteem enough to break the cycle.
2007-10-01 03:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I was in an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship I didn't know any better. As a child, my father was physically abusive...so when my x husband behaved the way he did, I would think at least he doesn't hit me. He also gave me the feeling that HE couldn't live without me, so if I left I'd be destroying a person...so I put up with it for a very long time. You live, you learn and you grow.
2007-10-01 03:38:31 · answer #4 · answered by patience 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was in one I stayed because I honestly felt that I had no other option. I didn't think I could survive without my abuser. I believed all the lies I was told and really felt intimidated by him. I believed everyone would believe anything he said and not anything I said.
It took time, but I soon learned that all of that wasn't true and that I could survive on my own. I was the only one holding me back. Once I realized that I got out of those relationships, figured out what I really wanted, and finally found someone who truly loves me and my children.
Life is great now.... and I still have days when I can't believe I have the life I have. All it took to get here was for me to wake up and realize I can do anything I set my mind to!
2007-10-01 03:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was in an emotional and mentally abusing relationship for some time. When you're in it, you are constantly being manipulated into thinking that these acts are a norm. Also, there is the fear of losing that person, because in your mind, you do love them.
2007-10-01 03:29:52 · answer #6 · answered by keo31204 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in a mental physical abusive relationship with my ex husband i stayed b/c of our son. I needed for him to have a roof over his head food in his stomch and a warm place to sleep. I lived in fear for 8 years until I finally got enough gumption to leave him and move on with my life...
2007-10-01 04:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess for me it was physical for a while but we went through counciling and we are doing fine now. I mean no relationship is perfect we still argue and get mad but we don't get physical anymore. And for the people that are in one of those relationships: if you think you can change a person you can't they need to be willing to change. and if you think your life or your childrens lives are in danger get out now, cause if you don't you'll soon be in the Obituary's.
2007-10-01 04:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by Krys 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They have low self esteem and no self respect...and stay because they have been brainwashed to believe that NOBODY else could ever possibly love them.
2007-10-01 03:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i left my ex bf about 4 weeks ago. the reason was because he was jealous and insecure , he wanted to control me ! he
even acused me of cheating - that is what i call emotional
abuse. leaving him was the best thing to do.just remember
one thing -- what goes around comes around. that person
will get their punishment ... that is so true..
2007-10-01 03:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by rodriguez m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋