My daughter is 16 as of 3/6/91 and her boyfriend (who lied and said he was 1 yr older than her) turned out to be 20 as of 9/26/07. We never liked the "hood rat" since day 1 but knew that as teens the more you keep them away, the more they want. She's 2 yrs behind in school due to truancy skipping high school to go to Newark, NJ projects to be with him. 3 weeks ago, told us she's pregnant (confirmed it next day took her to our doctor) and he's the dad. She's determined to keep the baby, and we're determined to see whatever remedy under the Law we have to prosecute. Most likely able to get ahold of IM's (we keep chat logs unknown to them) and email showing they had a sexual relationship when she was only 15(since NJ's AOC is 16). If not statutory rape is here, can we at minimum charge "contributing to the delinquency of a minor". We've got to do something, we've tried for the past 2 yrs to keep him away but we see what that did.
2007-10-01 02:25:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
The problem is my daughter is LAZY, unmotivated and completely dependent upon us, which at the current time we're unable financially to take on this huge responsibility that would ultimately lie with us. I'm not for black men being imprisoned, however, he doesn't work, no money, poor broke, and his mother doesn't work and collects TANF. I'm a prior teen mom who raised all my 4 children ALONE since last year when I got married to a wonderful man I met. My life has been an open book before my kids, with honesty, so they know exactly what this means. I was always a "go getter" and an entrepreneur. 24 yrs ago, when the youngest was 9, I went to college got my AAS, last yr my Bachelors, this year in the Master's prgm. She's nothing like me, and is still a Freshman when she's supposed to graduate next year, but because she was skipping town to see this guy she's waaay behind. In July we put her to summer school and thought we had her back on track -- we were wrong.
2007-10-01 03:06:58 · update #1
I don't know your daughter, I don't know the young man..... I don't know you so, as a stranger addressing the circumstances as you have presented them, It seems that your daughter has been allowed to be with this guy. I am sorry that he is older than her, but really, if you thought him to be a loser how could you think it better to allow them to be together, rather than, completely cut-off the relationship? Truth is, I do not blame you, teens can be tough to deal with when mothers are stay at home moms (good luck being able to do that) much less have to be work or go to school full time. I have two teens one, had an issue with an online guy, but I had to be the bad guy and "stop it" as she ages she may turn back to him but, I did my parental duty and stopped it! I had to face the pain my child felt and the disrespect that I was given... (teens tend to consider themselves grown-up-because they really are close to adulthood). As time has passed that "hate" I feared from my child didn't happen though it was stated a few times in the beginning.
Point is...If you have other kids be tough if you have to---I know it's hard..... But, as for your daughter, She is about to be a mother, Let her be a mother---- Don't try to raise her child, help her get her minority dissability removed so she can raise this chid to the best of her ability, get her in adult-ed classes, "parents should not be attending high school full time", they should be working to create a better life for their children, or attending university. If she can score high egnough on a GED and ACT from the quick Adult-ed classes she will have numerous sources of income to go on to college and support her child..... Give her emotional support "But don't give her financial support" She has an oportunity to make it "judging from what you've said she is already 2 years behind" If she checks into adult-ed she may already be at a level to test or it may only take a few weeks to bring her to graduation level....... If she's gonna be a mom, forget prom, You and Shee need to think about her and her child's future.
The "relationship" was allowed by you...... Get over the pain and rage at him and start thinking about your child and grandchild.... Unless your kid is a sociopath, she can become a good mother and succesfull person if you shift from anger. If she continues on the path of destruction I feel for you..... You are at a cusp where she could go either way. alot depends on what her personal beliefs and values are.
If the guy is a loser get his parental rights removed, if he "steps up" (not just in words but in actions and support) respect that. (I doubt he will step up -- Your duaghter will learn a valuable lesson either way.
2007-10-01 17:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Born in the USA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bro, first of all I want to apologize for every hate comment you've gotten on this question. Second of all, I'll try to answer your question: It is NOT illegal to hug/kiss someone! As long as it's just a kiss on the cheeks, or on the lips kissing is okay. (so french-kissing is out of the question!) And if you REALLY love him/her, and you are able to wait, don't rush things. Just go nice and slow... There is no need to rush a relationship, even if you differ 5 years. Heck, my parents have an age difference of 7 years! The REAL reason why people are giving these kinds of comments if because the other person is 15. I bet that if you were 25 and the person you dated was 18, they wouldn't have any problem! So anyways, age doesn't really matter, it's LOVE that matters! As long as you two do nothing out of bound, you should be able to have a normal relationship! (But, just to be sure, ALWAYS talk to the parents!)
2016-04-06 22:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the law is inadequate on this circumstance, really the age gap isn't too large, it is a fine point but a hood rat is a female, hes a thug most likely.
More to the point. I would suggest you take him out and beat his azz til he cries for his mother and let him know he WILL be a father to the child and support . A man in jail does his child no good and if he was really her boyfriend he probably did not victimize her. in my day girls where having sex in 6th grade and getting pregnant as early as 14. most of those babies are grown now and are worthless , we need for fathers and mothers to raise their kids. I feel your pain on the loss of your daughters innocence. beat that boy down.
2007-10-01 02:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about letting the relationship go on.
This is you grandbaby's father. Your daughter loves him.
Things in life happen, maybe if you give them a chance you could get their lifes back on track.
What about his parents, have you any idea how thier feeling right now. Do you care? Their in the same boat right along with you.
Life is to short to carry on the way you are. Try just being their for these children.
2007-10-01 02:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by amy68937 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having been in your situation, My daughter was 15, the boy was 18. My wife and I didn't go after him. It's kind of hard to pay child support from jail. My daughter was great however, she finished school, worked in the evenings to pay for her kid's food and diapers, she was a total adult about it.
2007-10-01 02:45:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the question here, but best of luck. Lowlifes like that don't deserve a break.
Ensure that paternity is legally established and that he pays child support (assuming he ever works and earns money).
2007-10-01 02:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by gunplumber_462 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help her and go after child support hard and fast and forever. there are federal laws that will not escape him on that
2007-10-01 02:32:00 · answer #7 · answered by Scott B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That bum should be in prison for statutory rape! That should keep them apart.
2007-10-01 02:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry he's such a loser that he has to lie about his age to get a girl, she was too young to know better when they started dating, good luck pressing charges, i hope you put him away, (i hope she miscarries)
2007-10-01 02:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by NTH IQ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are doing a really great job.
2007-10-01 02:33:40 · answer #10 · answered by JJ P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋