I caught my fiancee (ex fiancee now) kissing my best friend on new years eve this year,i kicked him out of my house for 8 weeks and during that time ,i had also found out that he had kissed her the year before,he had also attempted to kiss her other times ,but she refused him,due to the fact that she was engaged herself and didnt want to lose her partner.I took him back after he pleaded with me to give him another chance and now im finding it really hard to forgive him,ive been with him for nearly 7 years and i think i still love him ,but i need advice on how to better this relationship before i end it!! did i do the right thing to take him back?
2007-09-30 23:52:16 · 13 answers · asked by hevster 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I went through something similar. I used to go with a girl for 7 year and now she's my ex, she was stunning to look at, and every weekend we would have a party at our house and I started to notice too much eye contact between one of my friends and my girlfriend at the time, at first I thought it was me being jealous but when I would look over I would catch them looking at each other. Me and the guy I'm talking about were real good friends but my head was being split in two. When I asked him had he slept with her or kissed her he obviously denied it, and so did she but I got the most horrible feeling in my stomach, the same one you probably have just now. Some of my other friends said they noticed it as well, I felt like killing my m8 and couldn't believe that my girlfriend would do that to me, we had just had a baby boy and I had brough up her little girl as my own since she was one year old my life was at it's peek and it just felt like she was throwing it all away. I thought we would always be together.
The thing is everyone looks at each other and thinks to their self 'would I sh@g her/him' because that's the way nature works, it's ok to think it but to actually do it is too much, so you should leave him before it tears you apart, if you don't have trust you have nothing at all. Ask yourself do you REALLY trust him.
It's taken me a year to get over it, but the pain goes away and you become a stronger person. I'm loving every day of my life now, I still care about my ex, but would never go back to that situation. She's even tryed to get back with me but I said I just want to be friends for the kids sake.
Be strong and follow your instincts.
Best of luck....... Geo x
2007-10-01 00:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many more chances do you think you can give him? Tell him this and see what he says. And honestly, what how do you feel about him? If it started off with a kiss, is there a chance that it will become something else? You said that your friend refused to kiss your partner at previous times, does that mean that the last time and the year before she actually reciprocated? If yes, then I wouldn't trust either of them.
How can you better this relationship? Give him another chance. But expect to be dissappointed because history has a nasty tendancy to repeat itself. Be firm with him and hope he takes it in.
2007-10-01 07:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by Rico 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 8 years and i found out 2 month ago that my hubby had been cheating on me for 9 months. I have took him back and forgiven him but ill never be able to forget what he did, and maybe one day ill learnt to trust him again. You need to be able to talk to him openly and know every scrap of detail b4 u can move forward. Once u know everything u can then decide whether its worth keeping hold of him. 7 years is a lot to just throw away without thinking it through first which is why i gave my hubby another chance. And he knows its not a second chance its his last chance and i will be staight for a divorce if he ever done it again. Good luck hun xxx
2007-10-01 07:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No u didnt do right thing. You will spend ur life with him always being suspicious always wondering has it happened again if not with ur friend but with other girls too. You will drive yourself mad living like that. I am caught between 2 ppl my boyf of 8 yrs and my friend who i have fallen in love with, i hate myself for what i am doing and i have asked for advice on this and my only advice to u is finish it completely be with someone who u have no doubt about and also sack ur friend too cos she is not a good friend if she only thought on saving her own relationship and not urs. And u said u caught them not that she told u that this 'kiss' has happened a few times.For as long as u are with him u will always wonder what is going on between the 2 them dont do it to urself. Find someone who wants u for u and find a friend who knows the true meaning of that word. I really hope u find the happiness u want :)
2007-10-01 10:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by ha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think so. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and he broke that. Perhaps once, you could try to forgive and forget...but more than that, I think your kidding yourself. You need to put yourself first...there is someone perfect for you out there. Someone who is willing to put you first and the thought of kissing another woman would never even enter his mind. You need and deserve a man like that...you deserve so much better!
2007-10-01 07:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by bourbon_cruiser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you should have taken him back. I hope this girl isn't your friend anymore. I think they did more than kiss. Why would you kiss someone once every year. Sound fishy to me. Dump the bum you can do much better.
2007-10-01 07:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You teach people how to treat you. You have a lousy best friend and you have an even lousier guy taking advantage of your feelings for him. Stand up for yourself.
2007-10-01 07:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by Renoir 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you give in to him and take him back he will do it again and again and again...you will be giving him the message that he will always be forgiven. Leave him.
2007-10-01 06:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart,
if you consider him a cheat, i think you you don't have to wast your precious time on a cheat or casanover, like him,
forge ahead,
2007-10-01 08:06:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, leave him for the whores.You are better than that
2007-10-01 07:00:10 · answer #10 · answered by Nat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋