What do you think of this? 10 points for the honest answer. Thank you?

Question

My host mom always think I am naive about life especially when it come to relationship because I am still virgin.

She encourages me to have sex since I turned 20. I am now 22 years old and still a virgin. It is my choice to be a virgin. I have been lost friendship with many guy friends because I say "No to relationship or sex". Am I wrong?

Sometimes, it is very annoy to talk about life and relationship with her because we have different beliefs--she always end up told me that I am naive or inexperience.

Do you agree with her?

Thank you very much.

Answer 1

A lot of people consider sex a casual thing, I must admit I am one of those people that when your in a relationship that's something that just happens. You have a right to stay a virgin. I am getting married soon and sexual encounters are something that is special to do with her now because I love her, where before I just wanted to get off. If you can't find a guy that loves you enough to wait for you then they are not worth it. Your mom needs to recognize the fact that you want to give it to only one person and you want it to be very special. Its your choice when you are ready. I know some guys are going to say that if you don't put out then whats the point. In the long run though it will ensure that you have met a guy that actually cares about you if he is willing to wait. It shows also that you are someone that will be very loyal. I'll be honest with you I am a pig I have had sex within a two weeks with every woman that I have been with. With the exception of when I was in middle school. Yeah I'll probably get some thumbs down for this but at first sex was just sex now its more special. To you it will always be special. You are correct in this argument.

Answer 2

When you say no to relationship, I assume you mean a sexual relationship... I think it is important that you have some social situations with all kinds of people - men and women, and it could be on par with your personal beliefs. These could be study groups at school, church groups, volunteer services, art classes, community workshops, political organizations...This way you can build relationships with people on different plains, and deepen the value you have in a potential partner, and let the sex follow after emotional commitments have matured.

It is unrealistic, though. to not exchange any affections before marriage. Unless your marriage is arranged, I don't see how you can have no intimacy whatsoever before marriage. There should be kissing, or maybe some gentle touching - whatever. Just make sure the mutual respect on the playing field that you value is there, and the rest will come.

Continue to do what you are comfortable with. Being a virgin is a preciuous thing, and one that is undervalued in modern times. Largely, because it is something that people have lost hope in - they don't want to have missed out on something their partner most likely did not. Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't think it's wrong at all. In fact, that's most probably a good thing, as you play a part in stopping the spread of HIV, which is very very easily spread.

An example would be of a book I read on this once. The characters had sex with each other and stuff, although not all know each other. They have links here and there.

All the characters end up getting AIDS, execpt for a girl who stopped before her BF (became ex BF @ the end of the story) could have sex with her.

And it's all starts when a girl (one of the main characters) had her 1st sex and wasn't aware that she had contracted the HIV (she wasnt using protection). She thought she was safe and it spreads from there. In the end, she founds out that she had HIV when a virgin guy she had sex with, had symptoms of it. And she married the guy, cuz she was sorry and it was all she could do to make it up for it.

The other girl who didn't get the HIV became a nun @ the end of the story.

So I guess there really isn't anything wrong with wanting to be a virgin till you get married.

Answer 4

You should not have sex until you are ready and want to have sex.

Your mom sounds like one of those catty girls at school (omigod, you're STILL a virgin?!).

My twin is 23 and a virgin. I wish I had waited too, because I had sex for all the wrong reasons. You are the OPPOSITE of naive...you are smarter than most because you're not in contention for unplanned pregnancy or STDs. Congratulations, you're ahead of the game.

Yes, you're inexperienced. By CHOICE. Next time your mom brings this up, tell her you're not naive, you've made a choice based on the information you've received. That's the definition of a mature, informed decision.

When she brings up the fact that you're inexperienced, just say, "Yes. I'm also inexperienced in, say, drug abuse. Do you expect me to experience that as well?"

There is something seriously wrong with your host mom. Your sexual experience or lack thereof isn't anyone's business but yours, and you need to tell her that it's a subject that will no longer be discussed. Period. And if she brings it up, remind her. Refuse to answer her questions. The fact that she's so involved in your sex life concerns me.

I do not agree with her and I commend you on such a brave and wise choice.

Answer 5

No I don't agree with her. It's your choice, and now a day's it's hard to find people who want to wait.

I do see where she is coming from telling you that you are naive, just because you wait for sex for marriage doesn't really make it and better or worse. I can see how she might think that you waited all these years for someone special and that special one comes along and you give it to him and he breaks your heart... Then it would be very disappointing to you.

But ultimately it's your choice. So if you can deal with her nagging then just let it go in one ear and out the other.

Answer 6

I think it is great that your still a virgin. This is not something to be given up easily. The person has to be very special to receive that from you. I think she should stop pressuring you on this topic. It is YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BODY.
Once the right person comes along you will be ready for a relationship and the sex

Answer 7

Staying a virgin until Mr. Right comes around won't guarantee you happiness, though maybe your decision to find real love might not be bad in itself...Smart people socialize with their likes and if you're smart, you are likely to encounter that snug youth you've been waiting for...You should be like all normal girls of your age, never mind what anyone says, just listen to your heart...It doesn't matter if you stay virgin for life or if you are a hooker for that matter, the important thing is to find happiness and peace of mind ...

Answer 8

I really think that it should be your choice to be a virgin or not. No one should make you different. Your mother is probably just trying to get you to meet new people and stay steady for awhile. I don't believe in sex before marriage so I was a virgin until I was 25.

Answer 9

no i don't tjink you are naive and no i don't agree with your mom
but first i need to know if you ever had feelings for any guy before/ do you ever feel like having sex?
because that's what we call normal psychologically.
if so there is nothing wrong with you and it's good that you are keeping yourself for the right guy which will your husband.
those friendships you've lost are not worth it because it shows they were there for "sexual" reason.
my dear you dont want any guy to be doing push-ups on top of you.
even if people laugh at you ignore them because they can never be like you but you can become like them within a minute.
i love and respect you for your choice.big-up

Answer 10

I'm sure she just wants you to be happy. There's nothing wrong with a good intimate relationship with someone you really like when your old enough.
It's been proven that people who have sex live longer. Sex is a good thing and it's great that you waited until you're an adult. Hopefully you'll find the right man someday, but just to let you know, it does get harder to find a good man the older you get.