I have borrowed this from Jokes and Riddles posted by Kitteh.
If you’ve learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!
Those of you who have English as a second language and have mastered it, congratulations, those of you who are still struggling, perhaps the reason is below.
Some reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French fries in France (surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose two geese, so one moose, two meese? Doesn’t it seem crazy, that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
Why do we drive in parkways, and park in drive ways?
If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?
P.S. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
2007-09-30 19:43:02 · 10 answers · asked by PC 7 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
When I was young and going to school we would have a spelling bee for homework.
One word on the list was MINUTE
Pronunciation: 'mi-n&t
Function: noun
1 a : the 60th part of an hour of time : 60 seconds
That night I memorised all my words and was able to spell the entire 50.
The next day the English teacher started his spelling test. It came to my turn and I was quite confident. Iwas asked to spell
MINUTE
Pronunciation: mI-'nüt, m&-, -'nyüt
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): mi·nut·er; -est
1 : very small : INFINITESIMAL
same word but completejy different way of saying it. I was stumped and was caned for not learning that list.
2007-09-30 22:10:08 · update #1
Now i'm beggining to learn!
2007-10-01 08:20:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I`m A Native American, Muscogee(Creek) Tribe, Even In Our Own Language There Are Words That Sound Simlar, But It Is How You Use It Or Emphasize It , Is How It Is Interpreted. Just Be Glad You Can Speak Your "Own" Language. Don`t worry About How Hard It is To Speak English. Too Many Languages Are Being Lost Because Of English. If You Can Teach Your Children Or Others Their Language So Be It. Be proud Of "Your" Language First. Mudo( Thank You)
2016-04-06 22:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting
2007-09-30 23:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by boyplakwatsa.com 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't people drive on parkways and park on driveways? Shouldn't the plural of ox be oxes instead of oxen? When you're sick, are you calling in or calling off? Is a wise ass and a smart ass the same? Wise and smart have 2 different meanings don't they?
2007-10-01 05:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by Your #1 fan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sire. Thank you for this wonderful treat of a treatise on the treatment of the English lingo.
2007-09-30 20:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by Aref H4 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH yeah, Papa Chuck makes his comeback with another winner!!! Very funny, dear sire. Thanks for sharing.
My English is tolerable, don't you think? But still a far cry from Inday, the DH. Hers is impeccably delicious to all the senses.
2007-09-30 19:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i read somewhere that english is one of the hardest languages to learn. and yes, i think this has a lot to do with why.
strange spellings and definitions.
2007-09-30 19:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by zero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi, u can get good study material for english at... www.ebooksengine.com
2007-10-01 05:40:10 · answer #8 · answered by neha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Whoa, as nice as ever, dear Papa.*
2007-10-02 21:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by heartywalk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bwahahahahaahahaha!
2007-10-04 07:42:48 · answer #10 · answered by summerfairy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋