Mother stopping the child's father from seeing his son...?

Question

My boyfriend has been seperated for a few years now from his wife. They have one boy together. In the past few months she has refused to let my boyfriend see his son because he is not paying her what she wants in child support. She wants double what he is supposed to be paying (nothing is court ordered but he has a copy of the Family Law charts).

They have no set visitation schedule and are not yet divorced. When he started getting the paperwork going a couple years ago she told him she couldn't afford a divorce. He wants full custody of his son but he is not in the living arrangements to do so therefore he is holding off on the divorce as if they got divorced a custody battle would start.

What is really bad is his son's mother lives over an hour away and has recently moved so he does not even know what school his son is attending.

What can he do to be able to see his son?

Answer 1

Let me tell you from experience as my husband goes through this same situation every 6 months or so. Regardless of whether you BF is paying too much or too little or nothing at all. Visitation and child support or 2 different things and they are seperate. We have been told this by the prosecuting attorney in the state in which this has all taken place. In my opinion though he should go foward with the divorce and get an attorney as far as her not having money for a divorce there is several assistance programs and things like that out there so that sounds like a pretty lame excuse. I also know depending on what state you live in and what the laws are with paying child support if he is paying directly to her that may not be counted toward any support that is eventually ordered, but again you need to check the laws in your state. Like the state that this happened in with my husband any money that does not go through the state and goes directly to the his ex or the children is considered a gift and they will not count it. It is best if this is how things are going to be to go forward with the divorce and get everything legalized. Your state should have a website that will give you all the laws on child support, visitation guidelines and things of that nature.

Answer 2

child support and visitation are 2 completely separate issues. she cannot withhold visitation even if he does not pay at all. full custody is going to be near impossible, especially since he now has no visitation. unless this mother is a crack smoking idiot who is beating the kid, he will never get full custody. however, he should definitely try for 50/50 or as much as he can get, that will also eliminate the amount of child suppport she will receive. without a court order, it will be difficult to get the police to help him get visitation. he really needs to at least get a legal separation and get the courts involved in the support and visitation, even if the divorce drags on and takes forever, those things can very easily be taken care of. he should call a family law attorney in the am, they often will give free consults and can get him started

Answer 3

He needs to file for divorce & allow the courts to set the support & visitation parameters. More than likely he will be the one responsible to pay for the divorce, so his X wife's inability to pay may not even be a factor.
Sounds like he needs to get financially sound before attempting to gain custody. In order to have visitation, he will need a decent place to bring his son.
He has a legal right to know where his son lives & what school he attends. Hire an attorney.

Answer 4

first of all the mother shouldnt stop the child from seeing his father because in the long run the child will hold it against her! Second it will hurt her in the custody issue in court! If I were your boyfriend I would push the custody first before the divorce, he should still send her money so she cant say he didnt and as far as her not letting him know were he is at maybe he should try going to your local dss office and see what they can do to at least let your boyfriend know where he is. Also when he sends child support he should send by check or money order so he has proof he paid it!

Answer 5

1st up he should get a divorce attourney she can get 1 herself from legal aid.

2ndly unless he can prove she is an unfit mother with witness's who are NOT family members from her side or his side he has very little chance of gaining custody , the fact he has allowed this to go on without caring enough to do things legally shows that maybe he is not ready to be a full time father period.

3rdly he should ring child support and arrange an agreed upon payment amount and schedule based on his work hours and earnings per year.

1 major thing you best be knowing if he goes to court anything you have to say is null and void your only the girl friend / step mother so legally you have no right's and you are invisible to the court's so be prepared.

Answer 6

If u love ur b/f..
then u will encourage him to do EVERYTHING IN his power to pay on the divorce first before anything..

There is nothing MORE important than ur children.. in this world.. nothing... even a spouse..

the courts will look down on him if he continues to wait..

Pay for the divorce and get rights on visitations and have child support set.. that is the right thing to do...
She will have to give the child's address..
no hiding..
unless there has been domestic violence..

this is all he can do at this point.. he has right If he wants to enforce them...

Answer 7

you could basically settle this in a courtroom docket. you will desire to record a severance action against the daddy; he then would have the possibility to coach to a decide that he's in large condition to proceed to be interior the toddler's existence. that's sometimes a drawn out affair, yet except he's keen, first, to sign off on his toddler, that's the only answer for you. bear in thoughts, that's confusing to sever a parental courting, which maximum individuals agree is appropriate technique. If he prevails, he will have joint custody, have words of custody, and he will pay toddler help. in case you be triumphant, then you could proceed to have joint custody with your companion; being a gay couple has no impact on a courtroom's decision. you will possibly additionally create issues and effects in case you split up as a pair.

Answer 8

The fact that the child support is not court ordered and your boyfriend is paying it could be a recipe for disaster (unless he has receipts from her). She could take him to court and deny that he's paid anything and he could be on the hook for back child support - if she is vindictive. If he is to have any legal access to his son, they are going to have to legally separate and get a court order for visitation. I have a friend who went through this. Women who use their children as pawns should not be allowed to have children. I suggest you boyfriend go to a free consultation with a family lawyer and get some advice. Good luck.

Answer 9

He needs to press the court to establish custodial arrangements, and to be as diligent as you are at addressing the situation. Unfortunately, children in divorce situations are only as well dealt with as their parent's attorneys.

I don't know why he wouldn't have been court ordered to pay a specific monthly amount. Have you actually seen the paperwork?

Huge question...ARE THEY DIVORCED?

Answer 10

This type of thing just totally pisses me the **** off! I've been through what your describing and you have no idea what he must be going through "and" you probally don't want to; Because" the the precious moments of this childs life is being disrupted "just because the girlfriend "or" ex wife does'nt want to grow up.' God this pisses me off! lol
I'm having a few flashbacks of my own about right now and i can tell you from expeirience "because" i've been through and am still going through it "somewhat".
I see my kids now but there was a time where i did'nt "and" she still has custody and everything i pay in support goes in their stepdads pocket and not in my kids accounts for their future! Yes" i said it! If he can read and actually figure it out who this is he can kiss my ***! LOL
Rule of thumb; No MATTER WHAT! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR HIM TO SEE HIS SON! IF HE TRULY WANTS TO BE WITH HIS SON YOU FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! AND YOU HANG IN THERE! NO MATTER WHAT! DO NOT GIVE UP! WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO: DO IT!

As far as custody goes; when that child turns thirteen by law he can decide where he wants to go to live with; It's tough but you do what you can to provide a home for your son! And i'll take that advice as well."
As far as support goes" She'll get over it! It pisses me off that these ******* ex's take that support to buy their drugs or put gas in their stepfathers vehicles rather than put it in there for their children futures! It's ******* pathetic! GOD THIS ******* PISSES ME THE **** OFF! AWWWWWWWWWWW! lol Get Up and fight my brother! Don't Give Up! It will all be allright! Pray like hell ! And God Bless you and your son! My heart goes out to you both!