Should I leave my Husband?

Question

I found out that my Husband cheated with his coworker, at first he said they were just friends, but I found love letters and poems telling eachother how they want to do eachother. We've been Married for 8 yrs and have five kids. I'm so hurt and confused.

He cheated and also hit me really bad

Answer 1

DEAR LONELY, SO SORRY TO READ THE PAIN YOUR GOING THROUGH, ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION. IN TIME YOU WILL KNOW THE ANSWER, YOUR FEELINGS WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO . LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND [MIND] AND DECIDE WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. TAKE CARE!!

Answer 2

You have to understand .. that from this moment on.. UR LIFE HAS CHANGED

SHOULD u leave?
that is ur choice.. do u want to wonder every day.. where is he? what is he doing? why is he late?
he has proved to u.. he is a cheater.. now can u trust him??

if not.. ur marriage is doomed.. or ur life is doomed..

u have to love, have faith,, trust..
if u can't say u do.. then u need to leave until u do or divorce .. sad but true..
don't mean to be mean.. but there is a lot of people who have been cheated on.. and they too had or will have the same thoughts u have or will have..??? it is hard once u find out the one u love betrays ur love and trust.. especially if it is a co worker.. doesn't matter than she works there.. there can always be someone else..
it is a hard decision.. and u will be confused for a while.. but in the end u have to make up ur mind.. what u want to live with???

cause it can/will drive u crazy if u aren't care-full... do what u have to do for u and the kids first.. he comes last.... God bless u and ur kids..

Answer 3

I knew about my cheating husband at one point, and after begging me to stay, I found out again a few years later. This one was about to happen, let's just say he was starting to explore again. I know that people don't change unless they allow themselvs to submit to God and His love first. If they don't it is doomed. Even if you stay, you are more likely to be suspicious and distrusting. However, five kids is a lot to handle by yourself. How is he as a father. Sometimes that is worth working out. But if his fathering is no good, then you must leave him and show him that you too are capable of being respected outside of your marriage. You never know, he may decide he misses you way to much and change his life. Only God makes things new. hope this helps.

Answer 4

No, Make your patient high as possible. Just think for the 5 innocent kids good tomorrow. Your decision to leave your husband will destroy the bright future of your kids. The only best things you would do is to keep talking to your husband and ask him to reform his vices in to be a good ideal model member of the family, he must be good example for the benefit of the kids. Tell him his vice will only resulted to worst for the kids.

Tell him you have decided to leave him due to his cheatings the time you discovered but you had reconsidered your decision due to your love to the kids had overcome your sad feelings but patient has its own limit. Tell him once you will change your mind to leave if nothing he have change to cease h or stopped his cheatings, he will be sorry you have tried your best to keep longer your married and it's not your fault to be in vain..

Answer 5

time out-you first need to find out how YOU feel. yes cheated on, angry, betrayed, a fool that this happened to you, etc.
?do you love him? ?will you EVER be able to trust him again?
?are you going to throw this in his face EVERY time you have an argument? did this happen because of something you DID or DID NOT DO? or maybe he just gets a thrill out of sneaking around like a little boy hoping mommy won't catch him. HE needs counseling because he did it, and you need to be counseled to see if you are strong enough to leave him if he ever does it again or counseling to find out why you even had to ask the question to begin with. it's up to you! we all tolerate what we tolerate and after that you know what hits the fan. good luck to you and PUT YOUR FEELINGS FIRST
after all he didn't consider your feelings when he went to another woman so why should you worry about his feelings?

Answer 6

How about this.

Get in touch with his coworker without him knowing about it. Don't make it confrontational. Just a friendly woman to woman thing.

Take your kids with you. All of them. Tell her your history with him. Talk about your kids and about how devastated they would be to suddenly have their father living outside of the home.

Tell her that if she wants him, she's welcome to him but after what it's going to cost him in child support he's not going to be worth very much.

Inform him that one oops is all he's allowed and he just had it. Anymore and it's divorce city for him.

Ask him if that's what he wants and if it is, it's what he's going to get.

If you caught him once, you can catch him again. The sad thing is that it may not be with her but with another woman.

Give him a chance to fix his problem. You both should find a way to work through your problems together.

Maybe he doesn't see you as fun anymore. Be fun. Make him more involved in the kids lives. Make him think about what he will be missing if you decide to take a hike without him. Make sure he will miss alot that he doesn't want to miss.

Good Luck

.

Oh, I just now read the part about him hitting you. It seems then to me that his caring about you has ended.

I would like to hear his side of things.

.

Answer 7

Im so sorry you have to go through all this. I know how it feels. My Ex did the same thing. We were together for 7 years and was with somebody else and found out he went to Massage parlors and strip clubs spent over 100.00. I left him and Im fine. I know your thinking about the kids but you have to think about you. I say get him for childsupport and work P/T youll be fine. For my one son I get 500.00 per month and work from home. Just ignore him and make plans without him he will feel bad. Don't take it out on the children!

Answer 8

well do you feel like u should leave him everbody can tell u there opioions but its what u heart tells i am a girl me and my man been together for 8 yrs 2 kids and i cheated on him and we worked through it and i realized that it was a big mistake that i made but if u can forgive him and hes willing to work with u and your feelings and understand that things are not going to be the same and hes got to give u time to gain his trust back its not going to happen over nite its alot of work but like i said its u choice

Answer 9

Exhaust all avenues before you make your decision. First of all, is he sorrowful? Repentive?

I know there are couples who got past the infidelity and experienced an even stronger bond in their marriage. So try counseling, and definitely have him tested for STD's.

I told my hubby straight up that I don't think I could handle cheating, and that he just better start sending me the monthly checks.

We have 5 daughters.

Answer 10

Girl, that shouldn't even be a question. This is the one thing that would be an automatic divorce for my husband and I, CHEATING. I could deal with quite a bit and go to counseling, but cheating would end it all. Good Luck!

Answer 11

Oh hun I am so sorry that he has done this to you.I would sit him down and talk to him to see if he is willing to work on your marriage and stay together.I would ask him straight out if he still loved me.If he is not willing to stop cheating and stay faithful,I would see a good lawyer and get a divorce.let him go if he isnt willing to change.I'm sorry to say if he doesn't want to stop the cheating,goney you have to let him go.There are better ones out there who will treat you right.Good luck