I live in northern California. My soon to be x-wife and I have been separated since July 2007. We have agreed through mediation to 51%/49% custody of our two and half year old daughter. When I have her, my x shows up unexpectedly and un-invited to make sure I am alone, not drinking or doing anything else that might put our daughter in jeopardy. I want to know if it's legal or not? There is no provision in our divorce that states she (or me for that matter) can check up on one another. It's anoying, frustrating and I am getting mad. Does someone know??
Sincerely,
K :|
2007-09-30 18:47:03 · 15 answers · asked by jasoncorbett99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well,it sounds like she have a bit of feelings for you there.Why will she show up when you get your daughter,you will think thats her time to get rest.It could be a way to see what u up to or try to catch something in the act. If she shows unexpectedly thats unfair to you and your privacy, if you two are separated ,she probaly feels shes legally still married to you so she have that priveledge to take that control at anytime, only you can stop it ,If thats what you really want to do.You have your rights and you have that right to alert her of your privacy. Good Luck
2007-09-30 18:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by caramel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better consult a lawyer about the legality of her action. on the other hand, you can't blame her for doing that.
1. she carried that child in her womb for nine months. whatever she eat & drink, some of it goes to the child. whatever she feels, it passes on to the child. she had all the discomfort and pain all those time. if she feels like peeing she can't control it and so she pees no matter where, when & whose around -- all these you have never felt!
2. in labor room & until the moment she delivers the child, she was the only one in pain -- you were not! a lot of women died due to childbirth. NO MAN has ever died of childbirth! during that time a woman's life is hanging by the thread. where were you? you might be right beside her but your life was not in peril as hers.
I am a man. i don't take sides. i'm just stating the facts that if ever a woman does something crazy for her child she has all the reasons to do that. in fact my sister in law is one of those crazy creatures (she was into drugs, one lover to another). but when it comes to her child, nobody has the right for the upbringing of her child, nobody is perfect for her child except herself. that's why we were not able to have her daughter under our custody because she won't give up (sadly we don't have money to do legal battle otherwise we would have certainly won). i t think she just wants to make sure her child is safe & in good hands -- NOT that the child is in danger under "your" hands, but what if there is "another" person? i think that's one thing that worries her so much...annoying & all it may be for you but not until there's a law that would prohibit her from doing that, there's nothing you can do to stop her...why there are even mothers who defy the law. maybe you just try to let it pass for some time until she realizes that her child is in good hands, then maybe she'd let you have your way w/o bothering you. good luck to you...no, good luck to both of you....no, good luck to all of you.
2007-09-30 19:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by Thunder Clap 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well SORRY, but I disagree with some of the answers...
If she is going to be ur EX, even tho" u maybe having a civil divorce.. NOW is the time to stop her from doing such...
whenever u do want to have a friend over.. then she will cause a scene..
It is none of her business what u do or do not do.. any more..
Now is the time to dip it in the bud..
same as stalking... u can put a restraining order against her..
the best thing u can do is be FIRM with her and tell her to stop it..
to not come over unless she calls or u call her, and that is final..
if she does not honor ur request then tell her u will take the necessary precaution to enforce it..
2007-09-30 19:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ya don't have to answer the door.
If there was a drinking problem in the past, be thankful she is a good enough mom to show concern.
You need to talk to your attorney, or free legal aid if you did not have an attorney, they will be better off advising you.
2007-09-30 18:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is harassment. it is a control issues. U should put it in the paper work that she has to call ahead of time. or U should do it 2 her. show up & make sure she is not w/ some one else. make sure she is not drinking while taking care of the kid or taking a nap while the baby is awake. maybe she will get the point.
2007-09-30 19:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you're severe approximately protecting in touch with your daughter then ask daybreak to take the try. clarify which you're a million million% on her area and dont have faith for one 2d that she is an addict, yet that ifshe loves you she would be in a position of take the try as a results of fact your daughter is extremly important to you. If she nevertheless refuses to take the try then its sparkling that your emotions are not that important to her, and he or she isn't the the terrific option lady for you. If she does take the try to it comes back sparkling then Stacy has no floor to stand on, as she is erroneous in her accusations. If it comes back beneficial then you certainly will would desire to determine between your daughter and daybreak, thinking that she has been mendacity to you over her drug utilization. Blood is thicker than the rest, daybreak would desire to leave each time she needed yet your daughter will constantly be your daughter.
2016-10-10 02:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you don't have to answer the door.
If there was a drinking problem in the past, be thankful she is a good enough mom to show concern.
You need to talk to your attorney, or free legal aid if you did not have an attorney, they will be better off advising you. i hope this helps good luck . -B-
2007-09-30 18:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not doig anything wrong, I guess you shouldnt be worried or paronoid about your x checking up on you. No harm in that. Just be friends and be comfortable after all you are both the kids parents and when you are together the child will feel good.
2007-09-30 18:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had a history of drinking around the children before, you should be happy that she is concerned. If she is just there to check to see if you have anyone else, you should see your attorney about eliminating the problem.
2007-09-30 19:25:42 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a mother thing. It just shows how much she cares about your daughter. Kudos to her! I think over time she will back off, she is just worried. Plus, she probably misses her. I bet your little daughter is happy to see her mommy too.
Let it go. If this is your biggest battle, you are doing good.
2007-09-30 18:54:07 · answer #10 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋