So my boyfriend(of 5 years) and all of our friends are going on an ice fishing trip up north. Any other time I would be invited, but this time it was completly planned without me, and when I asked if I could go, he said no because "your a girl" and then gave me several other excuses.
I have always been one of the guys, I fish, ride dirt bikes, go mudding, that stuff is my life. I would love to go... His main reason is that they are all staying in a HUGE one room ice house, and it's just the boys. I have never notbeen allowed to do something, because im a girl, in my life. I have always done everything with my guy friends... and I don't have any chick friends to speak of that I would ever go do anything "just girls" with. Anyways, I am just upset that I can't go. At first I was supposed to go, then a few months later he told me that him and all our guy friends were going, and that I couldn't...
advice, thoughts..
2007-09-30 18:20:10 · 20 answers · asked by tashae_33 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
maybe he wants som space, he just wants to hang out with his friends only,!! Guy time!! You have to understand that!!
2007-09-30 18:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by rachell_andaverde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's harsh! I've always been a "hang out with the boys" kind of girl too and I'd also be shattered if I were in your situation...
HOWEVER
At the same time, each person needs their space and there's things that he/she can say and do among friends (when a spouse/partner isn't present) that actually feels very liberating. You have to be careful not to suffocate him or guilt him about this, because if you do, he will only resent you for it.
I think you just need to grant him this testosterone trip and try to understand that he needs to function as an individual sometimes (not as a couple).
[I don't mean to take his side on this because I know where you're coming from... just trying to help you understand how he might feel.]
2007-09-30 18:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go by himself. Perhaps he just wants to spend some true guy time with the guys and not having to worry about his girlfriend. You say you always have gone with him on the other trips. Maybe he needs some space. Don't freak out. I know I wouldn't go and most girlfriend's would go along. He is missing out on the guy time he normally would have with a girly girl. Give him his space. (My guy definitly wouldn't let me go even if I wanted to if they were staying in a one room icehouse where there would be no privacy for me or us). I mean what if he gets horny cuz you're there? You guys can't just be like hey guys can you leave for a bit so we can spend some time alone, now can you?
Also, don't forget that it might not be him at all. Perhaps the other guys he is going with don't want you to tag along.
2007-09-30 18:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by charmedonecml 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants some space and just have a night out with the guys! Just because ya'll been together for so long does not mean you have to do everything together. Having some space and time to yourselves is a good thing for a relationship. If you constantly spend time together your eventually going to get sick of one another. I know it hurts to feel left out but try and not let it get to you so much. Just let him have his guys night out and go visit family or do something you have always wanted to and haven't because you hadn't had time. It'll take your mind off of it.
You don't have any other friends or no girls as friends to go hang out and do your own thing?? If not, I suggest you make more friends because I'm sure your going to want your space eventually and just be able to have fun out with the girls or whomever.
2007-09-30 19:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by lauren87851 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If NO ONE ELSE is bringing a girl with them, and it will be ALL MEN (or boys).... then there is NO REASON why you should go..... give the boyfriend a little time out with the boys---you don't want to make him feel CRAMPED IN do you?????? One trip will not kill you to stay home from.... I know PLENTY of boyfriends and HUSBANDS who spend more and more time with their GUY FRIENDS especially if their WOMEN DEMAND TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM 100% of the time-----as long as NO other women are going to be there, let him go and you find something else to do for a while....it won't kill you...
2007-09-30 18:25:55 · answer #5 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 5 years, he should be your fiance, or husband. 5 years is a long time to just be "hanging out". stop being a tomboy, wear a dress, get some girl friends, and let him go be "one of the guys". as long as he's not cheating or disrespecting you, then you can let him go be a guy. you don't ALWAYS have to do everything with him.
2007-09-30 18:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs this time to his self. We all need some solitude, some bonding, some distractions from life. He probably is having some pain about treating you this way, but he needs you to understand that a man needs some time to himself with like minded dudes. Your going to smother him if you go. Let him go, support him, trust him and when he gets back you will have a very relaxed, focused boyfriend. He needs an opportunity to "miss you" and he will. While he is gone, paint the bathroom or go out with a friend. I am not defending your man....I am trying to help you. Let him go and try to act like your cool with it. Or be cool with it.
2007-09-30 18:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by BudLt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he invited on "Girls' night out?"
If he's not, then all's fair...or maybe you should invite him out with the girls.
Sometimes guys just want to go be with guys. We need it once in a while. We like to smoke cigars, drink beer, fart, belch and stink without the womenfolk around to make us wash and not be rude.
Go do something with your friends, or all of the guys' girlfriends and make a weekend of it without the guys around.
2007-09-30 18:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by Greenman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just wants guy time. Time to be alone with his boys and enjoy himself. He's making up a bs answer for why you're not going. Let him have his time alone. And let his because you're a chick comment slide off you're back. He's probably not serious.
2007-09-30 18:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta give them guys room. Hookers and Blow take up alot of space in a one room ice house, and you'd be in the way during the Donkey show.
Stay home and watch "Friends."
2007-10-02 17:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are times when guys just want to do guy things. no matter how great you get along with his friends, you'd be putting a huge damper on this guys only trip. stop pouting and let him go. you wont die.
2007-09-30 18:23:33 · answer #11 · answered by vanessa c 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋