Give me a reason to live.?

Question

I completely destroyed my entire life. I betrayed and lied to the only person who ever truly loved me. In doing so I ruined my family, and hurt my daughter by splitting up her parents. I lost it and messed up everything I had worked for my whole life nor to mention all the pain and anguish I caused my wife and daughter. I don't deserve sympathy, I am ashamed and embarrased of what I did. I cannot do anything to repair it, some things you just can't take back. I have told everyone we know the whole truth and taken full responsibility and apologized profously but no apology could ever be enough. I don't want to die, I just don't think I am worth being here anymore and think everyone would be better off without me.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

For those of you with harsh things to say, I accept that. I deserve anything and everything you have to say.
As a note of point I did not physically cheat on my wife. I did emotionally cheat on her which is worse. I then used that as an excuse to leave her. I told her I didn't love her, I took every little thing she ever did wrong or even that I didn't like, and threw it in her face. I shamed and embarrased her and lied to everyone and myself. I thought I was right at the time and have now come to realize that I am insane. I literally broke, I let every little thing that was wrong blind me to the most important things; I had unconditional love, trust and respect. It took me 8 months to get to this point, she would have taken me back 6 motnhs ago, even probably 4. Now it makes her sick to even consider it and I cannot fight for her because it just causes her more hurt. I am lost with no idea what to do.

Answer 1

Listen I am going to give you some very serious advice.

1. continue to to aplogize to everyone you hurt.
2. Take up jogging. Run atleast 4 miles a day 4 days a week.
3. Take up meditation or get hooked on some hobby. If its reading books, go to libraries.
4. Whenever you can afford it be nice to some complete stranger.
5. If you are a professional, go teach english or math or science after hours to deprived children. This will raise your self esteem and you will feel noble.
6. Go work at a charity withoput pay and see how a smile on a person who you have helped makes you feel better.

Life is never hopeless. GOD created us all because He/She had hope in us. Dont let GOD down. Do something worthwhile. Because since you recognize your shortcomings you already are One Hell of Nice Person.

Answer 2

I am so glad to hear that someone in this world is taking responsibility for something they have done. It just seems like no one these days wants to take any responsibility for any wrong doing. The only thing that you can do now is to pick up and go on and make a new life for yourself, and to make sure you do not repeat the same mistake. As far as your daughter goes, maybe in time things will change. If she can see that you are really willing to change, than maybe you have a chance. I don't mean tomorrow that things will be better, but maybe over a period of years. If you are going to take the responsibility and change, than you have to get the idea out of your head that your not worth being here anymore. And if you think everyone would be better off without you than that is the way people will treat you. If you start thinking positive than people will have a positive attitude toward you.

Answer 3

Man, what did you do?? If you cheated on your wife, then I can understand how you are feeling. These are the consequences of having an affair that other people fail to realize when they are out there doing what they are not supposed to be doing. It sounds like your really hurting, and if you could you would go back in time and make better decisions. AS a women, I feel a little happy that you lost everything because of what you did, but as a human being, you were put on this earth for a purpose and God is the only one that can really judge you. You asked everyone for forgiveness so try God instead, he will forgive all who have sinned. I know that it seems dark but the sun will shine again. Keep the faith and keep your head up!!!!!!

Answer 4

Well, kudos to you for taking responsibility for your actions. owning up to it is half the battle. Hopefully, your wife can find it in her heart to forgive. Life is a do over. Grieve what you did and learn from it. It is hard to grasp and look at the bigger picture but there are always lessons from the things we do or failed to do. Something will come out of this, you cannot see it now, but give it time. Also, get to a therapist. A good one can help you through this. There is a daughter here to live for. That is the number one reason and only reason right now to live. Even your wife too. She may down the road forgive you. Get counseling. Show your family you are trying to redeem your self. People are more forgiving than you think...

Answer 5

You're CHILD will NOT be better off without you!!!!!
Whatever you have done, and i'm guessing it's an affair, is nowhere near as bad as killing yourself and depriving your child of a father.
Now, suck it up, and try to make plans for getting yourself past this phase. If you need motivation, then picture your daughters' smiling face. If you need more motivation, then try and picture your daughter's smile disappearing when she's told that Daddy is dead.
Is that motivation enough for you bro?

Good luck. You've made a huge mistake, that much is obvious. But at least you have realized the extent of the harm that you've done...especially to yourself. That's the first step in recovering from this mes, and it will stop you from ever making that mistake again, trust me. Now, you have some bridges to rebuild my lad...and it's not going to be easy. With time, hard work, and honesty, you will begin to piece the broken jigsaw puzzle back together, but you won't be able to do that from a coffin, will you?

Answer 6

Give yourself credit for at least being so open and honest with everyone. A lot of men would turn the other cheek and run or lie. You are doing the right thing by being totally honest. Your wife is hurt right now but if you keep up your honesty and show her how much you love her perhaps the two of you will one day have a chance again. Make sure you spend plenty of time with your daughter, she needs you right now. Give it time but see if your wife would be willing to go to marriage counseling or couples counseling. There is hope. My husband cheated on me and with help we are still together 12 years later. We have been married 20 years and one thing they taught us in counseling is that since I decided to take him back with all the faults, I was not allowed to throw it up in his face. Of course I did a few times but nothing good ever came of it and I just let dead dogs die.
You need to love yourself a little more right now. It isn't the end of the earth and not the worst thing that will happen to you in your lifetime. You are trying to be honest and to get to the right point.
Please don't forget that your daughter needs you, and your family needs you.
God bless you on your journey and Good Luck!!

Answer 7

You apologized, and that's all you can do. The only thing you can do now is live the best you can, and be there for both your wife and daughter, even if your wife doesn't want you back. Your daughter needs her daddy more than you know, so you really need to seek some counseling from a pastor or psychologist. Not only would it be hurtful to "lose" a parent through a divorce, it would be devastating for one to die. Just keep that in mind...

Answer 8

Your belove will forgiven you and your daughter.
Because you may be anger overhead. that cause you to be out of control. Thing will be better if you take care of them and talk to them nice chat.
Play with them and having talk eaach other problem to solve or listerning.
it can repair of your hand . Depend on your mind thinking.
It is not always wise to "smooth things over". There are worse situations than conflict: hidden resentments are worse; silent bitterness is worse; hypocrisy is worse. When the Apostle Paul had a grievance against Peter, he "withstood him to the face" (Galatians 2:11-14). More face-to-face frankness in the right spirit would help many a parent-child relationship and many a marriage.
When James wrote "confess your faults one to another" (James 5:16), there is little doubt that he included all Christian relationships. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, should be able to express their weaknesses to each other. A life of pretense can be an unbearable burden. Besides, those closest to us usually know our strengths and weaknesses anyway. It helps when we ourselves are frank about them.So do not allow a wall to be built inside your house. Share your real feelings. Share your burdens. Share your needs. And share the emotions and burdens of everyone in your family. In doing so, you will build a family circle which cannot be broken.

Answer 9

Life goes on. You have apoligized and done all that you could do. You obviously committed some serious offenses. You will punish yourself for it for a long time but you can't undo what you have done. Any personal harm will only magnify the wrong in the minds and hearts of the ones that you have wronged. Work at putting it behind you and not doing it again.
We all make mistakes, big or small. We all need forgiveness, sometimes we get it from humans, sometimes not but forgiveness is always available from God. Run to Him, He is waiting with open arms to forgive and help you to move on.

Answer 10

First off, if your here on earth it is for a reason. There is nothing , even though you think there is, bad enough to want to end your life. Think how hurt your wife and daughter would be then. There is nothing you can do that can't be healed in time. If you are truly sorry for whatever you did and you don't do it again, they will eventually see your sincerity. Pray about it. You might not be a christian, but God does heal more than you know. You always have him when you have no one else, and he WILL forgive you. We are human, made to make mistakes. It seems hard now, but time heals. I'll pray for you.