Circumcision? To cut or not to cut that is my question.?

Question

My wife and i are in a debate about wether or not to circumcise our sons in the future. She wants it done because to her having a forskin is gross to her and she thinks it will make the boy an outcast with other boys since his penis is different. I say to leave it alone because i wish i had mine or was aleast given the choice to cut it off myself. I also have 2 friends that had it done in their 20s and they say they do feel less without it. any way what do you think or what would you do or have done with your boys?

i have read articles on bith sides of the debate and have seen the video of one being performed, she refuses to. Also i have said since we cant agree it wont be done and i get the age old responce of will then you get your way, i'm not tring to get my way just tring to leave it up to my son. One more question is it required to have the consent of both parents to be done or just one.

She said she has been with a intact guy and responded "all that extra skin is gross", but she still had sex regardless so it couldn't have been that bad to her at the time. Myself growing up when you saw another guys penis in the locker room and it was not cut , once i found out way(ask mom) i didn't think it was wierd ot gross i just wanted to know my i hadn't had the choice myself and my mother replied that she thought it would make my life easier but other than that she had no clear reason besides vanity.

Answer 1

I have three sons, and opted not to have any of them circumcised. I am a nurse, so am very familiar with how the procedure is done on newborns. I think it is cruel and unnecessary from a medical point of view, and would not aid in the procedure nor subject my sons to it. I understand there are religious beliefs that dictate the procedure, and if you had such a religious requirement then it would be one thing. There is no medical reason for doing it to a newborn. If it becomes necessary later on in life, then it is the prudent thing to do, and at least a choice of sorts is involved. But to cut the foreskin on the basis of appearance strikes me the same as cutting puppy tails and ears. Circumcision is done without anesthetic, by the way- and the baby is completely restrained during the procedure. They do cry, they do feel pain. Don't let anyone tell you differently. The US is the only country aside from Israel that still routinely performs circumcision. The procedure carries risks, and there are mistakes made- make no mistake about that. The doctor is guessing as to how much to remove, and your son could be left with way too little, or too much foreskin even after it's all done and healed. Too much clipped, and it's a surgical correction later- possibly multiple times. Too much, and he's got a hood anyway. It's a lot easier to guage foreskin on an adult, if it becomes needed later for medical reasons. And now days plenty of boys are not circumcised, and it's common enough that the little boys really don't make much of it one way or the other. Perhaps if your wife discussed how the procedure would be done with the pediatrician, her mind might be changed and that's what I would suggest. Look into the procedure, see how it's done. I didn't have my sons cut, and I can't in good conscience advise anyone else to do it either.

Answer 2

Remind your wife that your son's genitals aren't hers, and removing the foreskin just because SHE thinks it looks gross isn't a good enough reason. Also this whole, see you in the shower thing? The 15 year old here, has NEVER showered after gym class (no one did) and none of the football team ever showered at school, they just wanted to get home and do it, so the old "wow you look different" is no longer a huge issue either. Besides, why would 1. A teenage boy be looking, 2. Admit that he looked at another boy's privates...as much as people like to say it happens, the likely hood is slim.

None of the men in my family are circumcised, and none will be in the future. We haven't had any infections, any bad moments, anything like that. If we start taking off body parts that could potentially go wrong (like some people say that foreskins cause more infections, things like that) why aren't we removing appendixes and tonsils when they are babies so they don't remember it, and to prevent them from going bad later on? Just in case you know? But we don't.

Cleaning an intact boy is no different then cleaning any little baby, in fact straight from my mother's mouth, cleaning a baby girl after a blow up diaper is the hardest thing she's ever had to do, because just missing a small piece of poop in a girl's vagina could cause an infection. With boys you can see that you have cleaned them up pretty good.

Also, most insurances companies have stopped covering the procedure as it is listed under a cosmetic surgery, showing that it's becoming less and less the norm here in the US (in other countries circumcised boys are the minority. Circumcision rates are declining in the US for a reason, more and more parents are deciding that this is an unnecessary procedure,so odds are, somebody in your son's class is intact right along with him.

A quote from 2003 .. "Circumcision of newborns peaked in the United States some 30 years ago at about 85 percent to 90 percent, says Dr George Denniston, president of Doctors Opposing Circumcision, a Seattle based-anti-circumcision organization with members worldwide. These, days, those numbers are around 55-60 percent, he says. The rates are even lower In the western states of California, Oregon and Washington, which have a combined rate of 35 percent, Denniston adds. Some states also have stopped covering circumcisions under Medicaid."

Sorry I seem to have gotten off on a rant here, I get so tired of the old excuses of "OH IT'S UGLY!" and things like that as an excuse to have a piece of someone's body removed. I Am definitely in the "Don't Do It" camp.

Answer 3

Why don't the two of you allow the child the opportunity to determine if he wants to be mutilated or not.
This circumcision mutilation thing during the child's helpless stage in life is absolutely uncalled for.
It would make about as much sense to cut the ears off to prevent an ear ache, or pull the finger nails out to prevent a hang nail.
Another thought would be to tell her to be circumcised, tell her that her labia looks gross.
Forcefully cutting the child's genitalia and removing 1,000's of sexually stimulating nerve endings is cruel punishment, long before the child has the opportunity to determine weather or not he will enjoy sex.
With proper cleaning of the child and proper training of the child when he gets older on how to take a bath will eliminate any unclean issues.

Answer 4

I am 26 and I had this operation done 4 days ago. and believe me there is no way on earth that I am going to allow any sons I have, to undergo the procedure as adults!
It is not the most pleasant experiance in the world at all! in fact it is very painful and very sore. and has been embarrasing on occasions when I have had to tell people, like my boss!

I understand that you believe that the right lies within the choices of your future sons, but having it done at birth causes no pain to a child as nerve endings are not yet developed.

After what I have just been through, and what I am going through in my recovery, there is no way I could allow my son's to go through the same thing I have.

I read up a lot about the procedure, and about the pro's and con's about having it done. and although in the end I chose to take my doctors advice about having it done, I did not need to have it done. it was a safegaurd to contracting infections. I asked some female friends about it and they all said that they preferred Circumcised men, as they were cleaner. the sex lasts longer as the head is not as sensitive and they go longer.
on the other hand it's a part of me that is now missing, do I miss it? only time will tell as it's too early for me to say. I have been told that I will need to use lubricant in the future as the foreskin was the natural lubricant in sex.
from everything that I read about it, there is not really much difference in having the foreskin, or not.

1 week ago I would have agreed with you, let your sons make up their own mind. but now, I would recommend that you as parents decide for them.

if they don't have it, how can they miss it?

Answer 5

I think you should leave them as they are, unless it is medically necessary to have them circumcised. I have been with an uncircumcised guy and it was not gross or weird or anything. He was very clean and obviously had been taught proper hygiene as a child. His foreskin retracted easily, and there was not a hint of any smegma underneath. Just make sure you teach your son(s) proper hygiene and it will be fine. Then when the boy is old enough, he can decide if he wants to be circumcised.

Answer 6

Hmmm I don't find anything wrong with having foreskin but getting it removed does take away the pain he will have when he has sex for the first time. My ex boyfriend was not circumcised when he was a baby so he still had his foreskin and he is like 17 now. My boyfriend now is only 14 and got his foreskin removed when he was a baby. But the two of you really need to agree on what to do.

Answer 7

I think you should let your sons decide whether a foreskin is gross or not. Once you cut, it is very hard to recover it. But if they are not strong enough to withstand peer pressure or think that they like it without the foreskin, then they can choose to do it in the future. I think gross is a little too shallow of an answer to decide whether to cut a part of the body off or not. You have to think about cost and benefit, not just the appearance or fear that they might get teased.

Answer 8

Contradictory to what Harriet has said, there have been a lot of studies already that prove that circumcision protects men from getting STDs, HIV in particular. you can check pubmed for that. I am a medical student and that's what we are taught. So,not for vanity reasons but for medical ones, I suggest that you have your sons circumcised.

Answer 9

I was circumcised when I was 19 and it's been one of the best things that ever happened to me. Despite what anti circumcision advocates want you to believe, there really isn't anything speial about being uncircumcised. Take it from a guy that's been on both sides of the argument.

Answer 10

i say let the boys make up their own mind as adults if they want to get it done. I'm uncut and have never been picked on about it, never been refused oral sex, never been told its ugly etc. We are the ones who are natural. most of the world are intact and have no problems.
i left my son intact as well and he has known how to wash it since he was about 4. just like we teach them to brush their teeth they learn to wash their penis