How to stop unwanted baby gifts?

Question

I feel horrible to even post this, as I know I should be grateful people care enough to keep giving me stuff...

People have been giving us a lot of second hand stuff they have been picking up at garage sales and stuff. I am all for second hand clothes, second hand blankets, etc... but the other day I got a swing from someone that just completely fell apart when I went to clean it. If mild pressure from a rag is going to make it collapse, I would hate to see what would happen if my daughter pulled up on it someday. We've gotten a lot of totally filthy older items that look like they have been stored in a garage for years. I do appreciate people thinking of my family, but... I just don't want my daughter to get hurt or sick on some of this stuff. How do you tell someone you don't want any more large items secondhand, especially when they know you don't have that item yet. I would feel rude saying 'please shake the object and make sure it doesn't collapse before you buy it?' Any ideas?

Answer 1

Instead of saying anything just tell the gift giver thank you and either get rid of it or save it for a few months then have a yard sale of your own.Babies grow out of things so quickly. there is no need to hurt someones feelings just bite your tongue and thank them................been there too you are not alone!!!

Answer 2

So many good ideas posted here.

I just want to add that you are going to get SO much unwanted ADVICE once that baby's born. Oh, my, you have no idea.

So it's good to start practicing your polite answers now, and dealing with these unwanted gifts is good practice. Remember, though it may be a pain to deal with, you are fully within your rights to take that stuff straight to Goodwill, and not worry that your friends won't see the gift in your house. Follow some of the advice listed above and you'll figure out what to say.

As for unwanted advice on how you're raising your baby, try to have some line prepared, like "Thank you so much for the advice, we're actually really happy with the way we're handling (this or that)." Or even, "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Thanks." Always with the big smile, or you'll be tempted to bite the person's head off sometimes.

Okay, I have to add my one piece of unsolicited advice. Don't over-dress the baby. Old people especially will try to get you to bundle up your baby, wrap another blanket on it or something. Overheating is one cause of SIDS, so dress your baby similarly to what you're wearing, maybe one extra layer in the first couple of months.

Don't worry, the gifts and advice wear off after a while. Best of luck to you and your baby!

Answer 3

I think this is always a sensitive subject.

I agree with Rooster. Since these people are not exactly going to a great deal of expense to buy these gifts, i would just accept them. WHen accepting however, say thanks but explain that you really dont need any more stuff, but that you are so very grateful for the stuff they have given yo so far, and so many people have been so very generous that you are all stocked up. Dont make it seem as thought the presents they have given you arent good enough, but rather that you really dont need any more stuff.

If they continue to give you stuff (some people might lol) just accept graciously, then either throw them away if they are dangerous, or wash them and give them to charity

Answer 4

You seem very polite and considerate. Congrats on the baby! If someone says "Anne, I just picked up the cutest antique crib at a garage sale today! I'm gonna bring it over, when is a good time?" Say, "Aww, Rose! You are so sweet to think of me! I'm really touched, but Nick and I are putting the kabosh on big, previously loved items right now! We just have to many thoughtful friends, and our house is piled up! But we really appreciate it!" Good Luck :-)

Answer 5

kids at that age are like puppies - you have to repeat yourself over and over and over till they get it. my son is exactly the same - jumps on the couch, bullies his older sister etc. but with perseverance he is starting to understand that certain behaviour will not be tolerated. the trick is to warn him once and the second time take action. i either put him in the corner or if he has hurt the pets or his sister i smack him back so he can feel that others also have feelings and can get hurt. things are better and it is at a point now where a simple look or tone of voice seems to put him in check. just hang in there. his ehaviour could also be from the fact that you have another baby in the house and he is simply acting up. if this is the case - make time to spend with him - one on one and explain to him that although there is a new baby he is still special and very loved. my daughter acted up when her brother was born and after spending more time with her, she now accepts that her brother is a part of the family and she is very protective of him. good luck and i am sure it will all come to a point......just hang in there

Answer 6

If you feel bad about about telling someone you don't like or don't want the giftand it is still in reasonalbe condition, drop it off at the Salvation Army or local women's shelter. If it truly is not in useable condition, take it to the gabge dump or maybe the recycling depot. Then you won't feel bad and the people giving the gifts will feel helpful.

Answer 7

Gush about how much you like yard sales too. Then make a joke about never knowing what you're gonna get, and thank them.
Before you allow your kid near it, set it up and do a saftey check, and give it a good cleaning. If it doesn't "pass muster", toss it.

If they wonder why you aren't using their offering, bring up how you never know what you're gonna get at yard sales.
Make a joke about how "they don't make things like they used to".

You could always pull a "Diva" and insist on a "dream nursery". Register someplace and make it known you want certain things.

Answer 8

Just tell them politely that you appreciate the help and the thought, but you and your husband would rather get the big things later that you will need because you just cannot handle all the clutter and that you dont need anymore donations like that for now, and if and when you do, you will let them know!! That way they feel appreciated, and you get relief from it, and they know IF you need something later, you will let them know.

Answer 9

I would say thank you and a few months later bin it or try and fix it and give it away or use it never refuse people generosity

Answer 10

I would say thank you, but explain that you and your partner have a decision that you really do not want the gifts, though the thought is is appreciated.