Please give your best advice to a really scared woman?

Question

I am 27 yrs old, married, and 6 mths pregnant. My problem is that I am deathly scared of giving birth. I have heard so many horror stories about the pain and the pain of the epidural. I feel so panicked and scared like I'm going to pass out. I have had nightmares about this.. I need some advice on how to ease my anxiety about this. I really feel like crying when I think about it but I am so anxious to meet my little baby boy. Help please because I feel like I'm losing it.

thanks everyone but honestly I'm more afraid of the epidural than labor. I heard that you would want to take the epidural cause the pain is so bad.

Answer 1

I felt the same way when pregnant with my first child 10 years ago. I was told that childbirth is agony, and throughout the pregnancy I kept having panic attacks.
When the time came to give birth though, and the contractions started, it was like a tightening across my lower belly combined with period pain/cramps.
It gradually became stronger in intensity and the gas seemed to help. Eventually I had an epidural because after 12 hours, I was worn out.
My third birth was without any drugs at all and by that time I knew what to expect and wasn't scared at all because I knew that I was going to be ok and I was.
Childbirth does hurt, but if you try to relax into it and remember to breathe, your natural endorphins(painkillers) will kick in and while you'll feel pain, it will seem a bit unreal at the time and easier to handle. The more frightened you are and the more you tense up, the worse the experience will be.
Just go with the flow and let your body do the job it was designed to do and you'll be fine :)

Answer 2

I am only 20 & pregnant with my first child & also scared about the same thing. I know I won't be able to handle the pain, so I definitely want an epidural. But seeing the epidural being done, looks very painful too! I wish there was a much easier & painless way of giving birth lol. I heard the epidural is only a little pinch. But if you're going through hours of contractions, the pain from the epidural is nothing compared to that. Once you hold your baby for the first time, you'll forget about all the pain. I am hoping my labor is quick, but more than likely it won't be because this is my first time. Also, don't forget epidurals slow down labor, so I think that's one reason why people don't get one. But I'd rather go through a longer labor pain free than hours of contractions with no pain medication. Congrats & the best of luck to you!!! =] Plus, if it hurt THAT bad, I don't think women would go through it more than once.

Answer 3

Just relax. Easier said than done I know. Everything will all work out. You may be one of the lucky women out there who have no problem at all giving birth. You may have some pain. They can give you other medicine besides just an epidural for pain. It's just that the epidural is the only thing that numbs you from the waist down. Talk with your doctor about this and let him/her know your worries. It is common in first time mom, but try not to stress over something that you have no control over at this time. When you get to the hospital to have your little one it probably wont even really be a big concern to you. You are just gonna want to meet him. Good luck.

Answer 4

I was EXTREMELY scared too. With my first baby (2006) my labor was NOT nearly as scary as I had imagined!! I did have an epidural, but I got it at 6 cm dialated. With my second baby (2007), it also was not bad. I had an epidural again, but this time I got it at 10 cm (I was supposed to get it at 8, but there was a slight problem). Anyhow, both times I ended up being alot further along in my labor than I thought, by the time I got to the hospital. This made me feel a little bit better b/c I felt like, if I can make this long w/out an epidural, I'm sure I be able to handle what else comes along.

Now this being said, my labor did hurt, but it was not at all what I had made it out to be in my mind! Good Luck.....I know you will just fine :)-

Answer 5

OK first thing first never listen to any ones horror story's of birth. I got the epidural and it did not hurt. The Dr will come in and have you sit on the bed hunched over with your feet hanging over. You will lean on a nurse. He will give you a shot with numbing stuff in it. Then he will do the epidural. He will stop when you have a contraction. It doesn't hurt at all. Labor really isn't that bad. Yes the contraction hurt but really it all is worth it in the end. Once you get the epidural it goes fast and you don't feel a thing. If it really was that horrible do you think women would have baby after baby. It's worth it once you meet that beautiful boy of yours. Congrats to you and your husband.

Answer 6

I planned on a natural childbirth, but once I saw how they do an epidural I was definately not getting one!! I had my first two naturally and even though it was painful it was productive pain (there was a reason and an end)! There are other pain relief options besides epidurals that you could use if you go through part of your labor and feel that you can't handle the pain so you can keep those options there if you want. It's your birth experience, make sure you do what makes you comfortable and don't let others influence you into doing something that you don't want!

Answer 7

I know how you feel. My mom was one of the women with the horror stories (complicated labor, serious problems, etc.) Needless to say, I was so scared as was she, as to how my labor would be. But, I didn't have many problems at all with my first. With my second and third, it was a breeze!

Was it painless, no. Was I scared, yes. But I dealt with it. It doesn't last forever and when you are done, that beautiful baby is in your arms!!! This time I will be going unmedicated. (I did have complications with the meds.) The epi doesn't hurt going in, they do it between contractions. Just make sure that you are closer to 5-6cm dilated before you get it, if you decide to do that route.

The best way to deal with the pain, is to know your options! If you can avoid it, don't get the epi. Your labor will progress faster and you can better deal with labor if you aren't laying down on your back. That is the worst position for labor! Also discuss your pain options. Stadol is a narcotic and can do weird things to you. The epidural totally paralyzes you from the waist down. There are benefits to medications also.

Also build a birth plan with your doctor. This will help you know what to expect. It will also give you some measure of control of the situation. But know that things can change in an emergency. Discussing it with your doc before hand will really help in communicating with him and will help ensure that it is followed to the best of his and your ability.

Answer 8

Trust me do not believe these horror stories. I heard them too when I was pregnant. Sometimes people want to be helpful but end up doing the opposite. I had a epidural and it didn't hurt one bit. Trust me you'll be fine if I could do it at 16 I know you can. Hang in there and think positive thoughts.

Answer 9

Its really not that bad!!! People can be so cruel, they love to torture you with horror stories. Yes, labor hurts. But I have broken a bone before, and that was worse. Getting an epidural hurts for only a moment, and then its 100% relief. After the baby comes, recovery hurts too, but they give you meds and things to help you cope, and you have a baby to distract you from the pain. Have you taken a childbirth class yet? It may help ease some of your fears.

Answer 10

Relax, lots of women get nervous about that. Just remember the pain though it might seem bad, it will pass and you will have you little baby in your arms. As for the epidural, its not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.