Should i let my 12yr old daughter have a boyfriend who is 16 yrs old?

Question

I say NO..he is 16yrs old and i'm sure only has one thing on his mind...SEX. Of course she says.."you don't trust me"!!

I only posted this question so she could see that i'm not the only one who thinks it's crazy. This is her first "interest" in a boy.

Answer 1

A situation such as this greatly depends upon how much the parent knows the older boy. If the parent has known and has been around the boy for a long time, and also knows the boy is good-natured and responsible, then letting the daughter spend time with the boy (supervised, of course) would not be inappropriate. However, if the boy is unknown, then the parent should say no. If the parent wants to compromise, then all meetings with the boy should be held at the girl's home with the parent present. No exceptions. Above all, the parent should not discourage the girl's interest in boys, but rather encourage the daughter to practice patience and virtue.

Answer 2

I am guessing that your daughter looks to be older than 12. Otherwise I cannot think of any reason a 16 year old would be interested.

I would agree with the majority of the people answering and say she should not be dating a 16 year old (much less anyone). She is too young to handle all of the emotions and, especially, all of the pressure he will be putting on her to have sex.

If he knows she is 12 (which he may not), he must be quite a loser to be looking for girls so young to date.

I would tell your daughter that it's not your trust in her that is the issue, but that you do not trust him at all ("If you really love me, you will do (this act) with me.").

Answer 3

haha you should only let her date him if you want a grandchild ...i would just explain to her its not that your don't trust her its the fact that you don't trust him
maybe play it fiar and let him come over every now and then and hang out in the living room but first time you catch them kissing or anything besides a hug hes out the door and explain that to her why you don't think its a good idea right now maybe have your hubby/male figure in her life explain to her what guys think about at that age and also let her know its not ok and what could happen std's and/or a baby if she does have sex...may i also ask where in the heck she met a 16 year old boy?

maybe let her read this page and show her your on the only person out there that says no!

Answer 4

NO!! what does a 16 year old want with a 12 year old? I could see if he was like 14 or 13 but 16 is too much of an age difference at this age in life.

Answer 5

Gosh that a hard one !!! I would say NO. a 16yr old boy is likely to want to have some sort of sexual relationship!! Do you know this boy and his back ground?? Maybe you could put very strict rulez on a relationship?? He may visit under your supervision and at time that you find suitable? If he is above board he will accept ,this if he is just after one thing it will be too much hassle for him and he will find easier meat!! If you say no your daughter may go behind your back to see him. Maybe you explain your worries and offer a deal that if you get to know this boy and he is happy to see your daughter in the situations you set out you will feel happier. It is not just about trusting your daughter it is about your duty as a parent to keep her safe. This is the line I use on my daughter when she uses the YOU DONT TRUST ME line. I have told her she is welcome to bring any friends around but I will not allow her to go to any situations where I feel there is not adequate superivision. She is 14. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Definitely not. I'm 14 and I don't even date yet. Not only because my parent's wouldn't allow me to, but also because I consider myself too young to date. If she dated a sixteen year old at the age of twelve there is a chance she could end up pregnant or get raped. Seriously, lot's of young kid's and teen's are trying to grow up too quickly nowadays. Anyway, like I said, that's a definite NO.

Answer 7

No way, a 12 year old still needs to grow up and learn, a 16 year old boy only has one thought on his mind. Usually sex. I SAY Beware of this. You gave me a thumbs down but it's funny I agreed with you. Unreal.

Answer 8

12 years old?!?!?!? wow! no way. Maybe if you know who this guy is and he really is a sweet guy like she thinks have him over for dinner or to watch a movie in your prescense. But honestly, what does this guy want with a 12 year old? just think about it. I mean I'm sure your daughter is a nice girl but the pieces just don't fit together . Talk to your daughter about why you feel this way.

Answer 9

No. My grandpa didn't let me date until I was 20. That was a little too old, but 12 is a little too young. Especially with a 16 year old boy. What does a 16 year old want to do with a 12 year old anyway?

I wouldn't let her "date" until she's 14 or 15.

I also do not think it is wise for kids to "date" exclusively, unless they are ready for marriage. When she is 14 or 15 she should go out with lots of different boys so she learns what type of person she would like to be with and is not focused or fixated on one person.

As for Dan H's comment, use any accusations of "not trusting" the child as a way to communicate what the real issues are. Let her know that there are many types of people out there and you want the best for her. Also, you do not want her to get obsessed or fixated on one person who may be unduly influencing her. She should find out who she is as a person before she gets too involved with another.

I did not learn to date until I was much older. It was also irrational for me to think that my first boyfriend was as great as he was.

Answer 10

Look, tell your daughter I'm 13 (around 12) and you might think you can trust guys like that, but you can't. your're only kidding yourself. listen to your parents, they've been through stuff like this and are more aware of the things happening these days. DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM!