Why do so many women object to being called "darlin" when women have no problem referring to men by that name

Question

Darlin'
Honey
Sugar
Baby

Whatever term you choose - women get feisty when you call them those names, but sure enough, they're the same women who'll call you Darlin'

Not that I really mind - I appreciate the friendliness. But it bugs me that women seek to control the language that other men use.

Comments?

Answer 1

You can call me anyone of those names... JUST as long as you call me, Mr. Shark!

;-)

Hell... I forgot - here's my number [phone]

Answer 2

I guess it depends on the relationship and also the part of the country where one lives. In the south and southwest, we tend to use these terms more frequently and it is considered socially acceptable. I came to Texas in the '70's from New York and was immediately offended when I was called these names by both men and women. Well, here I am darlin' still in Texas and guess what? Due to having to work in the "people" business for 30+ years I have learned to talk the talk and use it effectively. In fact, I find it is comforting and gives me a touch of warm fuzzy I would normally not have experienced in New York. Now when my husband starts talking that way, I feel even better.

Answer 3

It really depends of the context. And the tone that's used. I've never been called or called anyone "darlin," but maybe that term is more of a regional thing. I'll call people "hon" or "babe", but only people I know. I think it's poor etiquette to use such terms of endearment with strangers, as many people aren't comfortable with acting so familiar right off the bat. And, of course, any such term used in a condescending manner is going to bother anyone.

Answer 4

Troll-Shark™, you can call me dahlin’ anytime you want, sugah! I’m from the deep south, and that’s just the way we speak down he-ah!

The reasons we use these terms of endearment are based on being friendly. We feel that you can go a lot further in your relationships if you use friendliness as a start. Now in a business setting, I will not use these terms because you don’t get personal when dealing with clients or vendors.

For those who find the term offensive, it is not intended to be offensive. For those who think you should only call your closest friends or family these names, fine. However, don’t think that we want to get that personal with you just because we call you sweetie.

Answer 5

oh my darlin sugah sharky... that IS a good question!

to me truthful... I would accept this form of "pet name" from a female stranger vs. a man, I would think the man was trying to hit on me. Plus - like noted above - 90% of the people that use this form of friendly greetings are from the south. So to be even more truthful, I would accept a "hun" from a southern man more than a non southern man. ~ just being honest ~

Answer 6

hmmm.. Depends on how it is said. In a bad way, it makes a woman feel that she is being played or not takened seriously. That's basically it.

People have names to be addressed. Some people get offended if they aren't called by their name. Having no name is like losing a part of yourself, or made fun of or the same thing as being a prisoner, since they get called by numbers.

Answer 7

The women who use these affectionate forms of address aren't feminists, at least not in my experience. Perhaps you've encountered some peculiar cases. This could make for some interesting sociological research, except for the difficulty of imagining male sociology-types calling a store-clerk Darlin'.

Answer 8

i do that...sometimes...dunno why. i am not trying to be mean when i do it...it usually signifies im in a good mood.

but ur right..i feel...weird when anyone calls me that...im just not used to terms of endearment at all from anyone...ppl that know me just call me by my name...and on here im called shadow. last time anyone used a term of endearment on me was 7 yrs ago...this guy always came into the place i worked and always called me sweetheart and asked me how i was doing that day...thats it.

also i used to live in texas...and i think i kinda picked it up there..lol. i still say ya'll alot and i get picked on my my youngest sister who is 17...( she has lived in illinois all her life) so when i say ya'll she thinks it sounds country.

lol i had an accent in texas though...everyone who talked to me knew i was from the midwest. lol. even after living there for 6 yrs.
and heck the very first job i had..i got called baby all the time by the older women that worked there...and i was 20! ( this too was in texas)

Answer 9

Good question.

You know, I've tended to be offended by this, mainly because I tend to experience it as a white PERSON addressing a black PERSON in a condescending manner.

But if a man of any race objects to this, I think he has a fair point.

(Just as women have a fair point when THEY object.)

I hesitate to say there's a correlation between those who do it and those who object to it though. I'd have to think about that and make some more observations.

Answer 10

Why is it that when some cute bartendress calls me darlin or hun, she's almost always from down South?

Answer 11

I'm cool on hearing sugar (sounds like he wants to eat me up lol) or baby (sounds like a player line) by strangers...but I have habit of calling everybody "hun"...I also hate being called sexy or hot (don't need to be reminded that they wanna do me). Darlin' actually sounds good---there is no logic behind it...it just depends on the mood, who says it and the day.