I am a 18-years-old New Zealander boy, my father never accept me, and now he wants to recover me. Can I hate him? or ... Must I accept him?
2007-09-30 10:54:38 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Don't "hate" him. Hating and harboring bad energy will only hurt you and stunt your growth in life. Forgive him, but you don't have to say "hey you never accepted me but come on into my life.". Just forgive him, it doesn't mean you have to act like he never wronged you, which he did.
2007-09-30 10:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to accept him. My father left my mother for another woman when I was about 2 or 3. One of my brothers was a year older, the other was a year younger. When I got to around 13 or so I realised that my dad did a really horrible thing to my mum and I started to hate that I had to spend one weekend a month with him (he just took us to the park to play football with my brothers while I just sat there bored). I stopped going to visit him and then I realised that I didn't have any feelings towards him, only that I felt obliged to as he was my father. My step-dad is the one that I have the silly childhood memories with, not my real dad, and now I haven't spoken to my dad for about 8 years (I'm 29). I know he wants to have contact with me but why should I (or you) try and force feelings of love which aren't there. Especially if you're not the one that broke the bond?? Why put yourself out just to make him feel better inside and make him feel like he's an ok father??
2007-09-30 11:46:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your father wants to have a relationship with you now after being gone from your life? You can hate what he has not done for you. Perhaps you don't know the person. That is a tough situation to be in but hate, resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
2007-09-30 10:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to be between hate or acceptance. You can just be indifferent. You are your own person as he is his own person. It's just sad when there is no love between father and son. Hate takes way too much energy, just let it go and you will be a better person.
2007-09-30 11:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up thinking that my Father hated me and it took a lot of years of back and forth and talking and growing up to find out it wasn't true!! My relationship with my Father now is one of the most important ones in my life!! I am so glad that we took the time to get to know each other, it's one of the best things I've ever done in my life!!
2007-09-30 11:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ginny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But remember that the decision you make today may come back tomorrow to haunt you. Forgiveness is very hard, but it makes you a better person, and you'll like yourself a whole lot more. How's the weather in the land of the long white cloud?
2007-09-30 10:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by thequeenofthesilverdollar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can hate him. He probably has a reason he wants you back. the thing is though if you really want to be connected to him. You can hate him but that doesn't mean you don't have to listen to him.
2007-09-30 10:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can do both accept him in your live ,because you are young and have lots of life to live ,,so you can hate him now for what he as done tell him and shout and cry with him get to know him then you can forgive him and live happily,,if you dont when you get older you will regret it he wont be in your life to see your wife and children ,,,good luck let us know how you have got on,,
2007-09-30 11:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by blueendred 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
best of all... you can do both. Suggest starting with the hate thing then working slowly towards acceptance, at your own pace and when it feels right.
you can't force emotions
2007-09-30 10:59:05 · answer #9 · answered by wild_eep 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a novel idea why not just ignore him, I don't have the energy or the time to devote to hating someone, I just act as if they are invisible, It drives them nut's. Enjoy yourself.
2007-09-30 10:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by john m 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋