hmmm...bible, love, marriage, sex?

Question

ok..so ive been thinking. In the time the bible was written marriage was very different. Basically you could get married at any age, like 13. So if you were in love then that is when youd get married. Nowadays, say your 16 & in love n wanna get married u cant w/out parental permission & therefore its considered a sin to have sex. But its still the same love between the olden days couple that did get married & the nowadays couple that cant. So why is it worse? why doest there have to be that legal ceremony to make it officially not a sin? cant you just make a comittment between you & your sig. other with god? I think its wierd that it has to be recognized by the gov. to be official...dont u think it should be most importantly between the couple & god? Like is a legal marriage & a non-legal committment that different when it comes to religion? n is it better for a couple who isnt in love but married legally to have sex or a couple who isnt but verrrry comitted & in love? opinions plz.

to rude person: well ok...it shows how mature you are that you cant discuss something without being rude. its called emphasis and colloquial speech...."verrrry" its just how i would have said it if this was in person. anywhoo...i do agree that ppl did had more responsibilty and knew more about life at a younger age back then. but im just saying that in my experience I happen to have a best friend that is verrrry....yes verrrrry in love with her boyfriend, both very mature in many ways including their relationship with god and are waiting till marriage which they would surely do today if they legally could. so what is the diff between them making a committment with god and them making one with the gov? marriage is sacred therefore it should matter more with god. psh....and if u need a paper & ceremony 2 make it "REAL" then...oy. i hope ur stranded on an island with the person you want to marry and all u have is god as ur witness, no paper, no preacher, nothing. well see how u think then

oh and ppl im not 16! im older. that was an example. so dont talk to me like im a little kid.

Answer 1

i think ur right it shouldn't matter if u were married or not just as long as u r i love

Answer 2

You're going to be really pissed off when you hear this but it needs to be said:

As evidence by your questions, it is obvious that teens are simply not mature enough to be married or to have sex. Just because they did it in the "olden days" doesn't mean it was right. I also want to point out that back then, people died in their 40s rather than their 80s like today. So there wasn't as much time to mature as there is now. As a 16 year old, you have positively no idea what love is. For one, there's no such thing as being "in love." You either love someone or you don't. Maybe you'll realize that someday, maybe you won't.

It sounds to me that the sex between you and your boyfriend is very good. How do i know? Because you're talking marriage at 16. Teenagers never talk marriage unless the sex is good...and the sex IS good....we both know I'm right. Marriage is so much more than sex, lust, and infactuation, but you'll learn that later in life. Bottom line is you're not ready. It's that simple. When you're 30, you'll know exactly what I mean. Good luck and don't get pregnant. Marriage might not sound like such a good idea to your boyfriend then....

Answer 3

Several things come to mind when comparing Biblical times with ours. One is that, in Hebrew tradition, a boy of thirteen has an official ritual which signifies his becoming a man. This has not changed in thousands of years but social mores among non-Jews has. That is to say, among non-Jews, a boy of thirteen is JUST that, a boy.
Secondly, after the deaths of the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, life expectancy continued declining until the early part of the twentieth century, when life expectancy started increasing. So, in Jesus' time and for long years after, a person would not ordinarily live much past 40, so at age 10 a person would have lived about 25% of their life. So it would only be natural that they married younger and had children at earlier ages than we consider appropriate.
Having said all that though, God takes marriage seriously, even if we don't. His design was one man with one woman for as long as they lived - think Adam & Eve.
Yes, you're right - love is love and sex is sex and teenagers have been having sex for eons, although love wasn't always a component. The point is, if two people "know" each other in the biblical sense, then in God's eyes they are married because God designed sexual relations to occur between people who were committed to each other and not casual strangers. This was designed for the protection of humankind, particularly women. After all, what does it say about the value of a woman is she is little more than a re-usable sex partner with a variety of men?
I hope that helps.

Answer 4

Well, you nailed the point that the situation was very different, and therefore, it's even more true that teenagers should wait to marry and have sex. Furthermore, in biblical times, 13-year olds were betrothed by their parents, who (presumably) knew what the best match was for their children. Would you be comfortable asking your parents if you could marry and have sex at your age? Probably not.

More importantly, economic situations were different then, too. People could have children and be able to support them. Do you really think you could do that now--with or without a spouse? No, you'd probably need your folks' help.

Answer 5

Myself I would want legal paper work done to protect my family. Now if a woman lives with a man so long, the union becomes a common law marriage.
But to live with this man and that man is called fornication by biblical standards. And it's always best to follow the rules made by our God.

Answer 6

Back in the days of the Old Testament children at the age of 13 had more wisdom, more responsibility, and more depth of understanding of life.

Today, a 16 year old doesn't have the first freaking clue.

So no, it's not the same thing.

If your "sig. other" loved you in a mature, honest, wise way, they would WANT to make it official. Saying "oh honey, it's just a piece of paper" is their way of getting into your pants without any further responsibility to you.

If you are "verrry [sic....and boy doesn't that just show your level of maturity] comitted [sic]" then you would RESPECT each other enough NOT to be sexual until you were BOTH mature enough to make a REAL commitment to one another.

Answer 7

The marriage occurs the first time one has sex. It has nothing to do with paperwork. Marriages were appanged back then. No one fell in love with another person. One instead learned to love whomever one was to marry.

Answer 8

Well for one thing, not everyone in the world believes what the bible says. Not everyone in the U.S. is a Christian. You base all of your information on ONE book and you expect everyone else to live their lives according to that ONE book. That's called religious oppression and is against the law in the U.S. as the U.S. was built upon religious freedom...The CIVIL laws have to deal with everyone in the country not just those who live their lives according to the bible. The laws have to pertain to EVERYONE. You dear child are religiously prejudiced

Answer 9

I am 24 and when I was 19 i got pregnent with my son and my then bf's family told me i was going to burn in hell and that my son would be a bstard even though in our hearts we were married and we felt we shouldnt have to get married. BUt they kept on saying it is better to marry then it is t burn and 2 weeks before my son was born we got married

Answer 10

no noone can tell u who u can and cannot marrie even if ur 13