How do I forgive my cheating husband and actually move on in our relationship?

Question

Husband cheated on my once. We are working it out. Started by putting our family back in church. I believe he is totally with me, but how can I forget what happened?

Answer 1

You won't ever forget, you just have to forgive. If he is an "open book" to you that will make things easier. Time and pure honesty is the best healer. Good Luck!

Answer 2

First of all you won't forget it,how does one forget being betrayed by a man you totally loved and trusted. It's been 10 years for me and not one day has gone by that i have not thought about it,not one. It has gotten a lot easier when it does pop in my mind where as before i wood start crying my eyes out and get all depressed. The first year i cried all the time i couldn't function i stopped going to the doctors the dentist i stopped taking my vitamins that i had been taken for over twenty years. I lost 30 lbs in four weeks i was so sad that any little thing on TV made me cry. For the next five years i was still crying a lot and writing all my emotions and feels down that helped and recording questions i wanted answers to. I have read over thirty books on cheating and have learned a lot about men,i just wish i would of read some of the book before the affair maybe it wouldn't of happened. One of the biggest thing i have learned is never but never think your mate wouldn't cheat on you. You think you know your husband but what we don't take into consideration is the other woman. I can only tell you what helped me doesn't mean it will for you,first i ask the questions and when he stopped answering the questions i went out and bought a small tape recorder and every time the sadness came over me i would lock myself in the bathroom and talk and cry away. That made me feel better for awhile until the next spell came over me. Today i have 8 tapes both sides full of anger and hate and hurt and love. I remember driving in my car and i got a spell and i started talking to the tape recorder and crying people were looking at me like i was crazy but the frame of mind i was in i did not care. I know i did not help but it still helps me to vent. People would tell me in order to move on you have to forgive,forgive my a s s I'll never forget it,i have tried but it's in there to stay. As far as forgiving him,well that ain't happening and he knows that. To forgive is to give the impression that it's ok what he did. I am not a hypocrite so to tell him i forgive would make me one.Anyone who says they forgive is only lying to themselves or just telling their mates that because they think it's the right thing to do. How does one forgive something they will never forget.

Answer 3

you forgive him right? forgiveness means not to talk even think about it if you decided to forgive him you have to work hard, maybe it is something you'll never forget at all but it is something you are going to learn to live with, leave the time to do his job and one more thing and it is very important it is true that when he is late or something you are going to start thinking too many things but don't botter him if he feels you don't trust him he would become disappointed and that is not good . the feeling of not be trusted is not healthy for both of you so, if you forgive him do it from the bottom of your heart and be happy the pain will fade with the time. good luck

Answer 4

You can't! What kind of question is that? How do you forget? Impossible.

You might be able to come to terms with it and forgive it through counseling, if you can understand why it happened (maybe rationalize that you weren't "together" spiritually and mentally during that period and so this is just like another woman in his past), but it's something you'll never forget.

(And how do you know it only happened once?)

Answer 5

Talk to him and let him know you are aware of this communications and that you don´t like that. What will he think if you start chatting with fellows around the net only as "friends" when you have him to do so. The same should be for him. If he wants to have friends he should make you know this girls and what they´re saying. Trust is very important to a relationship and if you can´t trust each other, then you are going anywhere. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

You can forgive, but you'll never forget. If you can work past the trust issues, then I think things will be better. If he can explain why he did what he did, you both can learn from the situation. I admire you for sticking by him, he's definitely a lucky man.

Answer 7

yeah, forgive him is the best that you can but you'll never forget about it.past is past, you just have to deal and live with it but you must try to trust him again..that will help work out your relationship.remember without trust will ruined your love life.give him another chance which you already did.I can see you are a good person. Just remember the 3 things to have a good relationship ( GOD,TRUST and LOVE ) good luck!

Answer 8

honestly,i dont know that you will ever forget. if you have forgiven him for cheating,then that is a very important step towards your "healing" process.im sure you were hurt by this.once you have forgiven him,it will take time to trust him again and who knows maybe (not likely) even forget. i wish you lots of luck and i hope that you can forget about what has happened. most people will never forget,but try to move on from it all and try to live without ever being reminded or remember of what sooo much once hurt........

Answer 9

Well it's very hard to forgive and really you will wonder every time he's late or not where he's suppose to be but you will have to put this situation down to experience and try hard to
forget. good luck I hope it works out for you both.

Answer 10

you may think you have forgive but one thing you will never do is forget what he did too you,,i hope you can work it out,but how are you when he goes out,if he is late home,,and what going back to church will do baffles me,unless its for him too thank god that you took him back,,good luck on this one hon,hope it does work out xx