i think im not depressed but im tired all the time im over weight ,all i want to do is sleep i hate it when my hubby comes near me, we fall out alot but thats just us !!! i can understand him but hes going MAD hes always had a high sex drive ,i havnt ,we only have sex maybe 3 times a month some time more ,just dependes how i feel should i just let him so it stops him going off ? plz help its getting me down
2007-09-30 08:34:35 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
teenie is that what happend to you ? you seem so sure he will do this !!
2007-09-30 08:56:50 · update #1
hi joanne , i dont think this has anything to do with your weight at all , if your not getting on with each other at the moment then your not gonna feel like having sex with him , me and my husband have the sort of relationship you have we fall out but i know we love each other , we have lots in common jo , its just the way we are too alike and set in our ways , i suggest get a babysitter or if the kids are old enough to leave them go out with each other , talk ,try to have fun , the other week we went out and ended up having sex in a field , it was funny , made us laugh but i was terrified a murderer was gonna come and kill us ,lol have you tried the site ann summers , make sex fun , i have to admit i have a few sex toys ,laugh with each other , you probably feel abit down are you one of those people who hate winter? i love jogging , i am not expecting you to try it but exercising does release endorphins that make you feel good , thats any kind of exercising , failing all that you can come and see me and cut me hair my new friend , and we can have a good piss up and make each other laugh,xx
2007-09-30 20:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men need food, sex and appreciation. They are made that way. And the chances are good that he is not the least bit bothered by your weight. He might not even notice! But I know that it can make YOU feel less sexual.
For the longer run: seek medical help, because even if you're not necessarily depressed, it could still be something physiological. But be frank with your doctor, so that you aren't prescribed a medication that has adverse side effects on your sex drive and ability to well, enjoy it.
For the short run: If you can possibly stand it, fake it a bit. It's not your husband's fault that he's going crazy without sex. He does have to have it. You might even enjoy it once it gets started. And you will have possibly bought yourself some peace. Sorry to look at it that way, but it could help until you are able to find a more permanent solution!
Addition: Sometimes we should be willing to have sex even if we don't really want to. I'm sure that isn't a popular perspective. I'm not talking about being forced into it. I just mean that we expect our husbands to be nice and share their feelings and communicate and take out the trash and go to work and all that stuff, whether they want to or not. So why can't we return the favor?
2007-09-30 08:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by Heather K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is an important part of being a couple. The bonding process during sex is enough reason to do it alone (not to mention the pleasure!). I don't think 3 times a month is reasonable. 3 times per week for a busy couple with kids seems to be about right. Its not really about sex drive in the end. Its about feeling sexy. If you fancy yourself then you sort of make it obvious and want your partner to notice! I think about sex for at least half an hour before bed (even when ironing etc) so that I am in the mood when we get to bed. Perhaps you could try that. Also, if you are overweight, you may not be feeling sexy at all and that can be a put off for you. You might want to remember that your husband sees a goddess where you see a hippo...try and remember that when you are feeling a bit low. I might add that if you make it more regular, you start to miss it when you don't have it which is a good thing...good luck.
2007-09-30 10:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm 35.. i use to be over 300 lbs..NOW I'm 160...My sex life improved DRAMATICALLY once the weight was gone (and I gave birth to the twins). I learned to eat right, exercise,and NOW I've got a business (that I LOVE), 3 kids, house, and happy hubby that keep me very busy. I realized my weight was getting in my way of being healthy (both physically and mentally)...I got my diabetes 100% under control. I loved working out so much I got my certification to be a fitness instructor and nutritional consultant ( but that's part of my business). I think some counseling would be in order. It's hard to be with someone who is not understand of what your going through.I hope this helps you.
2007-09-30 12:42:08 · answer #4 · answered by navywife_2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to make 'me-time'. Go the salon and get pampered. That way, you'll feel more like showing yourself off. Do things gradually and just reassure him that you love him but just need to build up to things. I can sympathise with you as I'm going through a lull in sex life at moment as my husband has your problem. I can see your husbands point as I, like him, have a very high sex drive. As long as you reassure him with cuddles, kisses and make contact when you are in bed by putting your hands round his waist I think he'll be ok. Onto you - you need to take some time to suggest new things inside and outside the bedroom. Go for walks, make a nice meal, chat without TV, massage each other, maybe try a vibrator on your own at first then bring him into the routine. He'll love it. I do wish you success with this.
2007-09-30 09:27:44 · answer #5 · answered by starshell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a full time mom and also work full time and our ages are about the same...i learned that there is definitely more to life than just having sex. I don't care how badly he wants it or visa verse you gotta be considerate of the other persons feelings too. There are times you might and might not want it so these things can be worked out. Be thankful you are doing it 3x a month Ive heard real horror stories on this topic
2007-09-30 08:40:41 · answer #6 · answered by robin r 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your husband aren't getting along then you probably won't want to have sex with him - that's how us girls work! For men, it is different. Also, perhaps you don't feel good about yourself because you are overweight and perhaps don't feel sexy? You may subconsciously be taking this out on your husband. My advice would be to have a chat with your husband to tell him how you feel. Forget about sex for a while to take the pressure off. Perhaps you could start a gentle exercise regime, you will be surprised how much energy exercising will give you as well as losing a few pounds - if that is what you want of course. As you feel better about yourself, you will probably find that you and your husband will start getting on better - if you get on better and are having fun you will be more receptive to him.
2007-09-30 08:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not try losing some weight...you may be depressed and in denial...wanting to sleep all the time is a sign of depression....go see a doctor.....Your are being cruel to your husband by at least not exploring why you aren't interested in sex very much.
2007-09-30 08:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mustard is a secret bulge-buster. It boosts your metabolism and increases natural ephadrine, the hormone that will burns fat. According to Jeya Holly, professor of human nutrition from Oxford Brookes University, just a tablespoon in your food can reduce a flabby waist by 20 %!
2016-02-19 05:36:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
off to the doctors/GP with you
ask for a blood test to detect signs of menopause,
discuss the possibility of depression & have a general health check-up, while you're there
to help you lose weight see links below.
& hubby should think himself lucky to have sex 3 times a month, compared to 0 times a month!
2007-09-30 08:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋