My husband and myself our both widowers, we just got married and now we are having a hard time getting along. He never says no to his kids and they disrespect him all the time, when I get tired of it I let him know and he then gets very mad at me and says very mean things to me and tells me it is no big deal about the way they talk to him, and that he trust them and it is okay for them to run around all night (15yrs old) and hang out with anyone anytime they want. If I keep my mouth shut and stay to myself then the only unhappy person is me. But sometimes I have to say wait a minute this is not right and all hell breaks loose. I have not spoken to my husband in three days, he does not seem to want to fix the problem or go to counseling. I put everything into this marriage to make it work, he thinks everything is fine and I need to keep it to myself
2007-09-30 07:29:36 · 11 answers · asked by catrat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have done everything it takes to make it work and he still doesn't respond? go to a counselor by yourself if you havent already done so and talk about whats going on and how you feel. if he doesnt want you to interfere with the children that are his..... maybe its time to see if he can decide you are worth fighting to keep.. if he blows it off.... he is losing out on the best thing that could ever happen to him and his children because you cared enough to try and get help. if you walk out the door with your things it may be the nudge he needs to open his eyes. good luck in whatever you choose and IM me if you just want to talk im a good listener.
2007-09-30 08:03:11 · answer #1 · answered by Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to get serious. Sit the brats down and in a quiet, mature manner, tell them that you married their dad because you love him very much. Tell them that you hope they love him as well but that they are not acting that way. Say that it hurts you and hurts their father when they behave so badly and ask them if they are upset about the marriage. Tell them that you love their father so much, you would leave before you would allow their behavior to hurt him but that, if this breaks his heart, the blame has to be on their shoulders. ASK THEM WHAT THE SOLUTION IS. The listen to what they say. Ask them to think about it fmore or a week. After the week ask them again what their solution is. If they are still beligerant, pack your bags and walk. If he doesn't come after you, call a lawyer. If he does come after you, tell him that the kids have to be part of the compromise. Good luck. Life's too short to have brats controlling you.
2007-09-30 14:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are saying about this i have a step son too. But it should matter what you say you are a family now and your husband should not be like this with you. My husband basically lets me correct my step son when something is wrong. If this keeps on continuing you need to do something about it or else you are just going to be miserable. Good Luck!
2007-09-30 14:39:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to go to counseling with you let him know its to save your marrige, counseling shouid be a safe way for you to express all your feelings within this environment with out all hell breaking loose.hopefully after some time you two will come to a united conclusion where he will include you into the family and accept your help and guidance with raising the kids along with rightly,guiltfree discipline. later on start having family counseling together with the kids. good luck.
2007-09-30 14:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by The Misses 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this has always scared me...am single at the time and cant have children so I would definitely need to meet someone that has children, but i come across your situation to many times and it makes me think twice.
The man changes after marriage and that is hard to swallow, then having to deal with children that haven't been properly raised...button line this are his kids and he will always but them before you. So you either take it or get out.
2007-09-30 14:43:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's one of the difficulties of marrying some one with children. They are his children and let him take care of it and be responsible for their ruin. You will be a lot happier if you can just let go of them and what they do. Let it be all on him. He can cook for them, wash their clothes and tell them what to do, take them to the doctor, bail them out of jail. Just tell him since you have no say about them, then you are giving the whole thing to him. Don't do a thing for them from that point on.
2007-09-30 14:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You CHOSE to marry a man who allowed his children to walk all over him, THEY are not ruining your marriage as YOU made the CHOICE to enter into this marriage. Obviously you have choices to make. Just don't blame everyone else for the choices you DO make.
2007-09-30 23:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay i know that you feel like these r you kids to, but in reality he has not realized that yet. So wat you have to do for now is let it be, i know that you care but, let him handle it on his own, i know that you don't want him to get hurt or disrespected by his kids, but you have to let him learn on his own, he'll come to you when he needs you and realize that you are right.
2007-09-30 16:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by CaramelLuv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS HARD BEING A STEP PARENT...BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE.. IT IS A GREAT THING THAT YOU CARE ABOUT THEIR WELL BEING...
2007-09-30 14:33:14 · answer #9 · answered by wenwen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he loves his kids more then u. sorry to say. true. look at his actions.
2007-09-30 14:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by Dave S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋