After 10 years of marriage and I can really really trust my wife I will tell her. Ladies would you be mad? I dont want to be in the poor house if things dont work out.
2007-09-30 06:57:05 · 23 answers · asked by bigpumpdaddy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is a catch 22 sittuation cause if you hide money from her and then you two get together (married) and she finds out she is going to be hurt cause she will figure you did not trust her enough to tell her where the money was . I mean that is how i would look at it . good luck .
2007-09-30 08:02:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finally a question of sense. Bravo....You know you will probably get 50% of the people on here saying that you should trust a woman before you marry her. (but what about the percentage rate of divorces?) And then there will be about 50% telling you that it's your money blah blah blah....Personally I think that if you or anyone wishes to hide their money it is perfectly fine as long as it is before a marriage and not money aquired during a marriage. That is considered household money no matter who earns it. I also think that there shouldn't be any secrets in a marriage. My wife and I have no secrets. We have the perfect relationship that every one wants or wishes for. But that is neither here nor there. I was married before and if I had that one to do over I would have hid as much money as possible for obvious reasons. People marry thinking it is forever and have no though about covering their butt like you are considering. So I say again that I don't think that it is wrong at all. (smile)
2007-09-30 07:30:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't tell her. You're not alone in doing that, and I have couple friends that do it as well, but they actually will stash cash within the house.
Anyway, I don't know how you have been able to conceal the money for so long, or where the statements have been going, but you can always play stupid if she ever were to discover it. I am guessing it is not a substantial amount? Just make sure she is the beneficiary on it if something happens to you before her.
My neighbor's husband died after 5 months of marriage (they were in their late 20's), and he had a hefty life insurance policy she was unaware of until the company contacted her. She was able to pay off their debts, his outstanding medical bills, his funeral AND make a hefty down payment on a new home.
2007-09-30 07:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would not be mad. I think you are smart. That's why pre-nuptial agreements were invented. I think women should do the same thing. Only what is accumulated during a marriage should be divisible, in my opinion. In fact, I'd like to see a law in place to make that happen. Way too many people marry for money....and some nasty divorces tie up the courts for years, to say nothing of the felony crimes that result.
2007-09-30 07:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After being in a marriage that left me in financial ruin after ten years...I'd say no. I can certainly understand. He had a seriously spending problem wanted to take over paying the bills so I let him. He quit paying everything. God knows where my check was going. I didn't know it was a problem until the sheriff showed up at my door serving me garnishment papers. One of the credit cards I had gotten with a card for him and one that I had never used...got maxed out and he hadn't been paying the bill. So i was stuck with the garnishment. Two years out of the marriage and I have just finally paid off all but one of the CC and its only $900. The other two totaled $25,000. I will never trust another soul to take care of the bills.
2007-09-30 07:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you hiding money because you initially didn't trust your wife? Of course, I couldn't know how your wife would react to hearing that. Could you explain the money by surprising her with a gift, a trip, or a purchase for the household?
If it's a great deal of money, then maybe you'll just need to explain your initial reasons for hiding it (do you have some deep family background that made you think it could be necessary?), then tell her you now realize how silly those reasons were, and that you hope she'll forgive you...
2007-09-30 07:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by Heather K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that you have an account but not how much is in there and you could even tell her that she could keep/get her own account as a "what if".
Just make sure your state laws will allow you to keep the money after a divorce; I know most states do but in one or two they don't care if you had it before you still have to disclose it and half could be given to her.
2007-09-30 07:20:30 · answer #7 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the stashing of money doesn't affect the running of the marriage, why would anyone care if you were saving it? Would you care if you were to find out that the wife was doing it? It's called self preservation and to an extent, in one form or another everyone does it.
2007-09-30 07:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We each are in charge of our own money and have a joint account We like it that way. Not a matter of trust but because we both worked very hard to get where we want to be
2007-09-30 07:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by MissE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong. Finances are an important part of your life, and something that must be shared between both partners. You can arrange for a pre-nup agreement, if you are so concerned, but you need to disclose your situation to your fiance before the wedding.
2007-09-30 07:30:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋