My husband is 41 years old , but he is still very attached to his mother, he tells her every personal things about me and things she should'nt know , and he gives her all the updated information about our lives ,he knows it bothers me and i warned him many times but he still does it .what is your advice!!!!!
2007-09-30 04:28:48 · 19 answers · asked by Yahoo User 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get him some pull-ups!
2007-09-30 04:49:27 · answer #1 · answered by ranch_tester 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need to go to a third party, like a counselor or clergyman or something for you to get this message through, but bottom line, when you get married, your spouse is supposed to be elevated above anyone else in your life, including your parents. The priorities shift once you have children as you need to balance their needs with your spouse's, but since you don't mention kids, I'm going to assume you don't have any. It is inappropriate for him to be confiding in his mom things about you. Your relationship is between the two of you, and you need to agree on how you will bring your respective parents into it, and about how much information you are comfortable sharing. He is betraying you every time he does what you complain of, especially given that you have told him how you feel. Assuming that the information he is sharing is inappropriate and personal (and that you're not overreacting), you may need to get an objective 3rd party to sit down with you both so you can have this conversation in a calm manner. good luck!
2007-09-30 04:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by Teri G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lola - My wife used to do the same thing with my mother-in-law and it drove me nuts. The only way I found to combat it was to talk with my mother-in-law about it, not my wife. In other words, when I knew what was shared, I just said what the heck and talked to her about it too. I know this may sound strange, but it actually helped me grow a much better relationship with my mother-in-law and surprisingly, sometimes she would take my side and tell my wife suggestions that were actually pretty helpful. Some day, your mother-in-law will die and it will be you and your husband. When that happens, believe me, your husband needs to know that you loved his mother or it will be terrible. Try to talk with her more and build a relationship with her. Telling your husband to stop talking to his mother about personal stuff isn't the answer and it will drive a wedge between the three of you and that will actually make him go to his mother more.
2007-09-30 04:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes as the other answerer said, don't tell him things you don't want her to know, as much as possible. There are things you have no control over, but you gave that up when you married him.
It is not going to change and there is nothing you can do, so for your own peace in your life, stop trying to discuss it with him. And stop being mad at him and arguing for change. The only way it will change for you is if you leave him. I am not saying to do that, I am just saying you have no choice but to get used to it.
It can go either way, when the time comes that she dies, if she doesn't outlive one or both of you. He will either feel like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, or he will crumble into a nervous breakdown.
2007-09-30 04:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He destroyed the marriage at all.Acting in this way never work in a marriage.He is an immature man.He does not understand that now he is a married man,with responsibilities. His focus life now, is : To take care about his wife,and family. He can also have a good relationship with his mother,but; not to mix his married with his mother.That is a big mistake.Many marriages around the world ended in divorce,for that mistake,and wrong behaviour.Talk with him seriously,ask him what he want: his Mama,or his marriage.He loves his mother is okay,but he need to love you,and respect you at all.What happen in a married couple is private,and he has never the right, to tell his mother about it.Ask him: are you married with me or with your mother?Good,tough,and interesting question.Good luck.
2007-09-30 04:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hear you here. My husband spends hours and hours at his mothers. He has spent days at her house and not called to let us know where he is. He has always been like this but it has gotten really bad since his dad has passed away. There is nothing you can do other then leave the situation. Good luck.
2007-09-30 05:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by I love winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont. You have married a mommas boy and until something happens to her, you willjust have to put up with the current situation, sorry. About all you can do his pray for that something to hurry up or divorce yourself out of the situation all together. For the meantime, dont tell your hubby anything you dont want mommy dearest to know. Things can always be worse too here, she could be living with you. Good luck
2007-09-30 04:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
With straight meaning and direction get your point across and meant with straight up conversation! Until subject change fall back on anything to do with his family including his mother! Because she should nip holding conversations with him about you and your personal business that says alot about her character! Noisy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't stop maintaining your marriage just keep quiet! They say we talk to much anyway! Start observing for then your husband will soon start taking you serious because he will be trying to figure you out! Because you won't be giving off no ear play! Then and only then he will see where your coming from! Trust me quiet brings change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-30 04:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET SERIOUS WOMAN, PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!
Scare the crap out of him. You are suppose to be his "best friend" his wife is other half, NOT MOMMY!
Tell the mother to MIND HER OWN BUSINESS and she should be the second woman in his life not 1st and something are NOPT meant for her to know! (also tell him)
consider counseling and tell him in front of the counselor!
the sooner the better!
2007-09-30 04:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Numb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man close to his mother will usually be a man who respect women in general. So he has a close relationship with his mother...don't you have a close relationship with a sister or a girlfriend? As long as she doesn't interfere with you let it be.
2007-09-30 04:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hand him the scissors and help him cut those strings! He is being very disrespectful to you in telling mommy all your personal business.
2007-09-30 04:39:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋