When we were in college everynite for 4 years was a party, but we all graduated. Well one of my friends just don't get it we have been out of school 4 or five years now and to him every day is still a party. He does not have a job he does not want a job he says he does but he doesn't actually look. Then the job he did have mind you it was a great job, he quit because the schedule interferred with his party time. I try to tell him man we out of college u cant do the same things anymore. Now my girl lives with me. He asked to come stay wit me to find a job, mind u my girl knows his habits so she doesn't want him there. I understand her he wants to stay out till 4 everynite knowing i would have to work, this would not be good for my carreer or my relationship. Then i try to explain to him you have one chance at your life i know u don't want to be 35 wit a dead end job, you get out of life what u put in. It seems he thinks u don't put in **** and get it all back, will he change
2007-09-30 03:20:24 · 16 answers · asked by raradaone 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i appreciate all you answers sometimes i was starting to think am i not fun anymore why don't i still want togo to college campuses and party but its not me that mother ****** crazy and yea he smoke and drink
2007-09-30 06:04:59 · update #1
He's not likely to change until he's forced to by his own circumstances.
I would advise you NOT to take the guy into your home because he will start freeloading off you and bringing his party habits into your home. If you did take him in, you would only be enabling him to continue the bad habits.
By letting him find out for himself that he needs to straighten up his act, that's going to be the best lesson he can learn and the sooner the better. If he has to learn that later on, it will be alot harder for him in the long run to try to change.
2007-09-30 03:27:49 · answer #1 · answered by Gary D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing worse than the man/child, I want it all with no responsibility. If you value your career and relationship you don't have your friend move in with you. He makes his own decisions and choices however, he does not want the responsibility of them, that is for someone else to pick up.
Does he smoke pot? If he does, this is why he has great ideas with no motivation. He only has to say it not act on it for it to be real to him. If he doesn't use mind altering substances then he is what we call here in Australia a 'bludger'. This is when the person asks for time, a few quid, a room, just until I find the right job. Problem is, it is never the right job, the boss has no brains, the people I work with are idiots, the pay is not worth it, I can do better you know me? List is endless.
I worked dead end jobs just to keep food on the table and a roof over the head as many others have done what makes your friend more special than you or us?
Simple answer, he will only change when others stop picking up his tab.
Be his friend not his keeper or else you will find he has moved on and you have nothing.
2007-09-30 03:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has become an alcoholic and until he sees that he will not change. Tell him that he is an alcoholic and that he needs help. If he refuses to hear you then leave your past behind. You are going to end up paying all of his bills if you let him move in. Do not go there. Just let him know that you can not give him a place to stay right now. You need to continue to move forward with your life. You and your girl are your first priorities now. Your girl is your future so concentrate on her.
2007-09-30 03:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if your friend will change, however, if you really love your relationship the way it is, do not have that friend come, he will drag you down.......... you have a great opportunity to show some gumption.
The boy needs a reality check, but sometimes until they hit rock bottom, it won't strike them........
and then there are those people who are perpetual students or want to be..........I have an ex brother in law who is still a part time student, still doing piddly work jobs and watches cartoon network alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time............... he is now 42............... : ).............
2007-09-30 03:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by bizzymom38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my i know alot of people like this, fortunately i moved and no longer have contact with them. Some are the same way to this day, no car, no money, bums off of everyone. I couldn't say if he will ever change or not, but i sure wouldn't be letting him ruin what i worked hard for. Good luck
2007-09-30 03:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let him stay with you it will only be enabling him to keep this lifestyle. Maybe he is an alcoholic. Does he do drugs too? It definitely seems like his life is out of control and he can no longer manage it. You may want to try to convince him to get help. I definitely would NOT let him stay with you and your girl. It sounds like you have your head screwed on straight and he will just pull you down with him. My first thought when reading your question was that movie "You, me, and Dupree" lol. Good luck!
2007-09-30 03:27:35 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him where he at and fall back! Get into your girl and don't let him move in with you either that sure as heck will cause problems! He has issues and you aren't his parent! He'll figure out what he needs to do without you! Life is going to pass him by and he will be the last to know it! Sometimes in life you can out grow your friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-30 03:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has obviously not grown up yet.....I sure wouldn't let him stay with you.....he will become a permanent fixture and will mooch off you....besides you will be enabling him by allowing him to stay with you....All you can do is keep talking to him about how important it is to have a plan about life and that he needs to grow up and become a responsible adult who can take care of himself.
2007-09-30 03:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE THINK LIFE IS FREE AND EASY HE HAS NO RESPONSIBILITY SO WHY SHOULD HE SETTLE DOWN...AND WITH FRIENDS LIKE YOU THAT LET HIM STAY FREE OF CHARGE WHY SHOULD HE WORRY..
HE HAS A PLACE TO STAY FREE FOOD..WHAT A LIFE
IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM IN YOUR HOME TELL HIM YOU MUST PAY RENT AND BUY YOUR OWN FOOD YOU CAN STAY BUT OTHER WORDS YOU MUST LEAVE TONIGHT...
2007-09-30 03:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by shayhi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah...he'll change...every1 does...but they all do when its too late and there's rly no chance success left....so as a friend....u should try to support him....dont give him free stuff...but keep pushing him to get a job....or even tell him the consequences he can face...or even show him...
2007-09-30 03:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by RevivingPhoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋