I'm feeling suicidal after the failure of my 7 yr long relationship?

Question

3 days ago, my fiance broke up with me thus ending our 7 yr long relationship. There was no clear reason why he wanted the break up. That left me feelin crazy, broken, disappointed, cheated and everythin else negative. I'm 26 n he is 29. As adults, I expect him to talk over problems with me. But he didn't and this breakup is like his own decision solely. And worst still, he broke up with me thru sms! When I called him, he ignored my calls. I just can't seem to get a proper explainations. I've been feelin suicidal ever since. I just dunno how to move on. It hurts so much and the pain is so excruciating. What have I done wrong? I've got no one to talk to and i'm bottling up all my feelings and emotions. Somehow I feel that hurtin or killin myself would help. I know its stupid n totally useless but I dunno how else can I survive this.I've done and sacrificed so much for him and he just left me this way. Please knock some sense in my head.

Answer 1

Well look at everything you lost.

A bf who won't communicate, doesn't care how you feel, is a coward, is selfish and has not even the decency to tell you face to face.

Quite a catch, I don't think. I know you are hurting and the way he did things just made things worse but look at this guy as I have described him above and you will see you are better off without him.

Give the pain time to go away and then enjoy your lucky escape from this strange man. If you are still struggling don't be shy to get counselling, it is better than dwelling on it.

And don't blame yourself YOU appear to have done nothing wrong, therefore it is HIS problem and you are better off away from him

Stay strong, get counselling and remember he is nothing but a gutless,lily livered twerp who is not worthy of your affection.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear about the way things ended in your relationship. Yes I know it is very nerve-wrecking (I'd went through something similar to this) when you don't have any clear reason as to why someone leaves you hanging. You definitely deserve a honest explanation after seven years together and it's ashame at his age he does not have the decency to tell you face to face things are over.

I know this were said many times before, but time will heal the pain you are feeling at the moment and let me say this-- NO man is ever worth killing yourself over. This man has already painted a bad picture of himself to you because he proved that he can't be a good husband. Who's to say if you were to marry him and have children, he wouldn't abandon his own family, that is a bad situation to even think of it. The man is selfish and in my opinion, not suitable to be your life partner. He isn't worth the the tears or the emotional pain because if a man genuinely loves you, he will never leaves his woman hurting.

Since you can't have the answer you want, write a letter to him (don't send it), honestly telling him exactly how you feel and don't hold back. Release all that negative feelings and emotions in the letter and burn it. By doing so, you are taking the small process by letting him go.

Your ex finacee has just open a opportunity for you to allow someone else enter in your life that will likely to be more mature, dependable, trusting, respectful and loves you in every way. In the meantime it may not feel that way but I guarantee further down the line, you will find a better man and your ex will be a distant memory. And you will wonder what the hell you'd seen in him the first place.

Answer 3

I'm really sorry for the "break up." I just want to let you know that suicide is never an answer or a medicine to your pain. I know your going through a lot right now. I also know that the pain your experiencing is so excruciating that its almost a physical pain. I know its difficult but sooner or later you'll bounce back. My advise to you right now is to just let it go. Men have different reasons for breaking up a long term relationship. First, is boredom, knowing what to expect everyday is boring for some guys and maybe you have been complacent in terms of what he really needs in a relationship. Sometimes people who are in a long term relationship tend to conclude about the personality and the needs of their partners, they think that they know it all. So when the time comes you break up, you are confused, hurt and suicidal coz you have no idea. Second theory, a third party, which most of the time is the reason for a long term relationship to go south. I don't know specifics about your relationship but I think this is the reason, there is a third party involved or he is really thinking and really considering starting a new realtionship with someone. At any rate, you're still young. You can go on and still live your life. Hang out with your friends, dine out with the family, find a new hobby or sports, go clubbing, etc. After a few months, start dating new guys. You can't expect him to honestly answer your questions or your calls. Don't mind him anymore. Find closure within yourself. Not from him!
I hope for the best. Live your life.

Answer 4

Take some deep breaths, yes you feel desperate. So many questions unanswered ! Feels so impossible. Give yourself some time this sounds so sudden. Reach back a little and try to remember ways that you may have let energy out or burnt some off. If you can talk to a counselor or a crisis help line it may help. If there is one available. A time when you feel very alone is there anyone you may be able to talk to, anyone? One day at a time look at your immediate needs, can you see a doctor or social worker? Be very honest when talking to any professional, let them know you feel desperate. Assuming you're not eating or sleeping, your body will fall apart and make it more confusing if you aren't getting either of these. You are important, hard to see now. I am sorry for your pain, feeling anything other than what you are now is what I feel you are saying. Another person does care about you and your future. Hang in there you can do this. Allow yourself some time it is normal to feel distress, a lot has happened. Take care of you.

Answer 5

Believe it or not there were signs there before he left you just did not see them or read them. There is a saying, "I'm happily married, their happy I'm married".
Find a good relationship counsellor and work through your issues with this. One of the worst things is not getting the reasons or answers WHY???? Often the other person does not know for themselves they just know the 'clock ran out'. Given it was a seven year relationship it sounds like it slipped into being predictable and having lost some of its lustre, seven year itch maybe?
No one is to blame here and you definitely do not need to feel any more than hurt and betrayed. Suicide thoughts are an indicator that the relationship was in decline and this decline was not recognised, that's all.
People do get over these hurts and they learn from them part of your greiving is the fact you have 'lost' seven years to a relationship. Take what worked with you, toss away what didn't and walk out into the world with a whole new outlook. Find out who you are at this time, life is precious and we never know what is around the next corner.
Take time to heal, don't look for answers where there are none, don't look for blame or recrimination. This is simply a fact of your life and you need to work and walk through it.
Find a counsellor and be gentle and loving to you as you would a good friend in the same position.

Answer 6

Listen, you're still young, and there really are PLENTY of other guys out there!! Anyway, if he doesn't even have the guts to say why, he doesn't deserve you...You're better than this, and you can do better than him! I mean really, what kind of guy breaks up with someone through sms? He's not right for you! And trust me, there are many other people in the same situation...my Dad's girlfriend broke up with him, and he thought she was a potential wife...he became extremely depressed and suicidal. He went to the doctor, got some anti-depressants, and moved on!! You'll be okay! Go to a spa, get your hair and nails done, buy a super-cute outfit, a movie, snacks, and invite some friends over or just sit down and relax! And don't make it a sappy movie to remind you of him! Show him that you're happy you learned that he wasn't right for you, and that you've moved on!!

Answer 7

One of the evil effects of modern relationships is this kind of things. People are joining out of infatuation, some union will last for few years and some are falling apart within no time. Here also I understood that there is no legality for your relationship. May be the younger generation will think that an arranged marriage under social customs and tradition is foolishness. But there are some subtle things underlying in that. Our ancestors were great thinkers . They could have foresee what is going to happen to the mankind. In order to save them from such catastrophe only they put forward some domestic rules in the form or rituals, customs and traditions.

Now in your case, your man left you for no known reasons. He might have found a better environment. Since he had no bondage of social customs or traditions, he could leave you very easily because another nest was easily available for him. It is the law of karma. Whatever actions you are doing, you will have to pay for that in an equal way.

But suicide is not at all a solution for anything. If you will die, he will be more comfortable. So first of all leave that thought of self torture and/or self destruction. See my sister, this world itself is very old and obsolete. Here we cannot expect true love, humanity and all. So if we want to be comfortable while staying in this world, renounce every kind of attachment towards things and relationship. No one in this world is indispensable. When you took birth on this earth, your life, your living conditions, your relationships everything was pre-determined as per the world drama. What was destined for you that happened to you. Therefore think with a calm mind. Why you want to worry for someone who doesn't want you. And think that whatever is coming in our life, there is something good behind it in the long run. So what happened is for good only. All bodily relations on earth can cause sorrow or worries to us. You take any example, it will give you only sorrow. What I want to say is give him your good thoughts only. Don't follow your shadow. The more you are going near to that, that will go away from you. Be calm. Think about your future. Just think that for a sister like you it is not necessary to have a man to survive. So let him go on his own way.

Answer 8

Please don't do anything to harm yourself,its not worth it. The problem is not you its him.He won't even face you to tell you what is going on and why he wants to end a 7yr relationship. He is no man , he is a coward to hide behind a computer. Don't you ever harm yourself for a coward , he is a wimp to break a woman's. This is a blessing in the sky before you got married to a coward. You should be happy to know his true colors, yellow. Don't call , text , e-mail , or write that coward. He more than likely has a another woman or has fathered or about to be a father. I know it hurts because I've been there too. Go on with your life because this is a blessing, you wouldn't want to have given a coward years of dedication for nothing. God knows he didn't deserve a dedicated woman like you so his true colors has to show eventually. Move On. Good Luck.

Answer 9

I can understand that you feel so hopeless and are in a lot of pain right now...but ending your life over this man will not solve anything..I am sure that there are many people that would be greatly affected. Even if you don't think so.You may never know the real reason your fiance broke up with you...It was very cowardly for him to do this to you and not even face you to talk about this. As with most things...time will heal all wounds. I truly am sorry that you have to go through this....but in the end...it will make you a stronger woman.....God Bless!

Answer 10

That is the problem when we make our significant other our life or everything. You probably thought the sun rises and sets on his a**. Believe me it doesn't. This is just a relationship, one you put everything into, but this is not your God. Ones life is composed of all sorts of things, and he was just apart of it. You have every reason to live, one is to find out that a real relationship isn't one sided. My advice to you pour a whole lot of feeling into yourself instead of another human being. Build up your self esteem. To take your mind off of him surround yourself with friends and family. No friends than make new friends, or join a pottery class where you can meet new ones. Go to the movies, do a pros and cons list where you work on your self esteem. And what ever happens don't call him or text him, or try to see him you still have your self respect left. Take the time to invest in your self than search for that special someone. But remember no lost love is worth taking your life. While your moping around wondering what you did wrong believe me he probably is not thinking about you. So be strong, and motivate yourself.