when i say 'cheat' i mean elevated to championship status to the point that in his school's newsletter (he's a coach) they refer him as 'an expert with the 'amazons' (a woman's team). everybody knows and he is quite open and proud about it and they both act like nothing is going on. they have a small child and he was cheating before marriage/after marriage/ while pregnancy/ after etc. of course nobody tells her nothing and they seem to hide this from each other and maintain an outgoing social life (under 40 both).
of course it's not my business to tell her... but i just don't get it. i mean he has hit me, my sister, every girl i know. what is the deal with that? you can maintain a marriage just by looking the other way? I just don't get. and it's not like she needs him financially.
so i suppose the key to a working marriage is looking the other way? what sick thing is going on there? are there couples like that nowadays?
2007-09-30 01:15:07 · 21 answers · asked by sarah kay 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The broad is a complete idiot. Of course he would cheat, because he obviously doesn't love or respect her and also because she's letting him!
Who cares if they have paperwork that they are married? They aren't married. That isn't marriage. She needs major help if she could just let some useless fool play her for a fool. Eventually it will come to an explosion and payback for both of them is gonna be a b i t c h, because the idiots have an innocent child!
2007-09-30 02:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, the "key" to a working marriage is not looking the other way, but you have to make room for the possibility that in this specific case that may be an element which supports the bigger picture. Whatever is actually "key" is unknown to the outside observer (and perhaps it's just as well), but somewhere there is a need they fulfill in each other's lives that makes it reasonable to them to look the other way on things. Are they the quintessential model for matrimonial cohesion? Not by a longshot, but even within their rather twisted existence they have stumbled onto some fundamental component of marital longevity that many other people miss (and therein lies their inspirational value): People know (or they think they know) apparent flaws about them as a couple, or dents in their armor, yet they cannot fathom why there is no apparent damage as a result. They have learned to keep their "private" business private, and to the outside world they present a united front and keep everyone else guessing....as they should. Maybe that's the only lesson they can teach the world, but it's enough and they've apparently taught it well, because by your own account it is the subject of much discussion in and around your community. The old folks used to say, "Even a broke clock's right twice a day..." That seems to fit here.
2007-09-30 02:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is any excuse for his cheating or her condoning it. Actually, I don't think there is any room for that behavior in any relationship, muchless in a marriage. Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship, and it's obvious that this guy cannot be trusted. The woman likely has no self esteem and/or she figures that she has put alot of time into the relationship and they have a kid together, so she might as well stick around. Regardless how much time you invested into something, if someone is doing something so awful, she will be better off in the long run by acknowledging the problem and ending it. I know there are probably alot of sleazy guys like this one, but nobody should accept that behavior.
2007-09-30 03:03:16 · answer #3 · answered by mike 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An open marriage, a marriage of convenience or ignorance. Not saying disagree or agree but it's their marriage.
Yeah, it's none of your business so I would stay out of it all together. You said he hit on you and you turned him down. It disgusts you and you have that right.
Maybe they do have a child together and you think marriage is a different way than others. You believe a marriage is the binding of two souls to make one...I agree with that. I am far from perfect, I made a mistake and it hurts me mentally to this day.
Open marriage...different people like different things. Maybe they both like multiple partners.
Marriage of convenience. Maybe they both started out as one with the thought of being one but times changed, personal things in theirs lives made them change or it just happened. They grew accustomed to having each other there but it has become more of a roommate relationship.
Ignorance. Maybe she is as dumb as a box of rocks and doesn't see it. Maybe she does and some people think that is the way a marriage is suppose to work.
Best advice I can offer...stay out of it. You get involved and it may have some repercussions on you.
2007-09-30 01:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by Magicman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not think any woman or most women really look the other way about cheating, i believe that they get comfortable in life, and if its not right out there slapping them in the face, i don't believe they always see it, because when u love someone u believe the best of them, and see what u want to see because your happy, u feel secure, u feel safe, because u really don't know its going on. some couples may be this way if they just don't love their spouse or they have no self worth but most women when they find this out are quite hurt and depressed, its not something u just see as an okay situation.
2007-09-30 01:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know some couple do that for the children sake and not for their spouse. If they get divorce because of it the children usually get affected and she is probably thinking about it. She probably don't want her child to grow up without a father. She's a good mother if it is the reason and I will give her credit for that.
2007-09-30 02:16:00 · answer #6 · answered by salve h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Will_955. As a teacher, I can assure you that what he's doing is illegal. Speak up to the authorities before he actually does get his hands on someone -- perhaps your little sister. Get the other girls to validate your story.
2007-09-30 02:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it happens everyday, some women do not care, look at one ( if not more ) of the males that have played cricket for australia, he has been caught out so many times and his wife kept going back, he has been caught agian this time she says enough is enough but what is the bet she will go back, these guys must have ummm something worth staying for,
2007-09-30 01:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by please ask m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is a teacher or coach report him to the authorities. Do you want him to be hitting on yourlittle sister?
Get some help.
2007-09-30 02:00:42 · answer #9 · answered by will_955 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your hands are dirty as well, Id stay away from the time bomb, get your value system in check as well, cheaters tend to travel in the same circles.
2007-09-30 01:44:12 · answer #10 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋