My husband has been unemployed for seven months, and has had medical problems during this time. ..?

Question

The medical problems have to deal with him being diagnosed with multiple blood clots being found in his left leg. He has been taking Coumadin for treatment, but he is still trying to quit smoking. He tells me he still feels pain in his leg, and that it hurts to stand...but I don't know whether to believe him or not. This is because, we just moved to a new town and have been here a month and he has not even tried to search for a job. To complicate matters, his ex filed for child support in December, so I have had to get a second job to pay for it, because he can't work.

My question is...is he procrastinating, or does he truly have a medical problem the Coumadin still hasn't fixed? I know that others who have had blood clots in their legs have still experienced pain, for example his father(who's in his 50's) has been hospitalized twice for clots in his legs, too. Yet, he is still able to work. Is my husband being a slacker for not even looking, while waiting for answers from our doctor?

Answer 1

You don't have to pay child support for his children. It is based on his wages not yours. Go with him to see the doctor this time. He will need a form from the doctor saying that he cannot work, and will not be able to make the child support payments and present that to the courts.

He may have gotten himself in a rut, that to the point where he is comfortable staying at home now. I don't know if he is on the computer all day, sitting for several hours a day doesn't help his legs either. He needs to go for walks to get his blood ciruculating. If he is home all day, why not suggest work at home employment? So that he can work from home.

Please go to the doctor with him this time and get all the information, so that you can feel rest assured that he isn't procrastinating...

Answer 2

Only your husband or you can answer that.

You can't compare your husband with his dad. They are two different people. Maybe his dad "shouldn't" be working and is going against doctors orders. Do you know the whole story about that?

My brother has the same thing. Has been doctoring for years now with an open wound. He's now on disability.

What you would like to hear us say is, he's a slacker and he's not being honest with you. How could that possibly help you? Why haven't you checked with his doctor to find out what's going on. You said he's still waiting for results from the doc.
That's what your husband "should" be doing. How can he go to work before knowing if he can from his doc.?

Because his father is working, you're sitting and wondering why isn't my husband working? Again, he's still waiting for results. Don't you know blood clots can move to the heart. Thus the results from the doc.

You are in a situation you don't want to be in. Now child support to boot. Two jobs for you. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now. I don't know how I would handle it any better than you. Don't know if your husband has been a "slacker" before all this came about.

Call the doc and see if they could speed things up a bit about the results. Don't wait for them to call you. You call them. You may get a quicker answer and then you can take it from there. I never wait and wait for call backs. If the wait is getting too long I call.

Can't say much more than that. It all stands now with the results.

Answer 3

I am a Phlebotomist and work in a hospital lab. I draw about 50 coumadin patients a day,it is so hard to get the blood regulated, not too thin,not too thick. Your husband needs you now more than ever. He is probably thinking he is good for nothing,not a "man",and now, a burden to his family. Marriage is so hard (I have been married for 14 years) and you have to take the good with the bad.

About his medical condition, clots can be very serious, doctors aren't miracle workers and don't always have the answers. People need to see that. So much can mess up your health at the drop of a dime, be nice to him , how would you feel?

Answer 4

This is a hard call what did his doctor say? Can he work or no? I would go to his next appointment and ask some questions myself if you are unsure. If he is just being a slacker as you say then maybe you need to confront him and find out why he is not looking for work. Let him know that the pressure this situation is putting on you and especially with the added pressure of the child support is difficult. Communication is key. There may be an underlying reason as to why he is not looking for work, or it could be laziness maybe that is why he has an ex wife anyway Good luck to both of you hope you can work this out.

Answer 5

Talk with the doctor, he may be able to get social security. The drug is a blood thinner. You should not have to get a job, the courts can approve him not having to pay anything if he cannot work, not you. You have a ton of choices. Does he have an attorney? Has he ever paid child support? If he cannot work file for SSI, he will probably be turned down the first time (the FEDS at work).. If the doctor goes for it then he will get it. Also talk to attorneys that specialize in disability. They will forgo fees until later and take an amount out monthly when he gets his money. If he paid normal taxes and workde enough then he should get about $900+ a month. You may also be able to apply for food stamps. Take the freebis and moneyand get on with live. no reason to kill yourself or him. Hang in there.

Answer 6

I would guess that he's being a slacker because there are many jobs he could do that don't require someone to be on their feet. I have a friend who does computer work who has blood clots and takes Coumadin. It never stopped him from working.

Why is it up to YOU to have to work 2 jobs to pay for HIS ex??? That child support is HIS problem and he needs to find a way to pay for it, not you. It's not your responsibility, especially if you're already working full time. But since you're more than willing to jump into an extra job to support his ex, you're enabling him to continue being a bum.

Answer 7

He has to look for work simply because you two need the money. So tell him to get busy looking, despite the pain. And tell his doctor to address that pain his leg.
You need the money, plain and simple. I am sympathetic to the plight of someone who is dealing with a physical illness. But I'm also sympathetic to the plight of a person who has to take a second job to pay his ex-wife.
He also needs the activity if he's going to get better. Trying to quit smoking is extremely stressful but none of the terrible stuff going on in his life is helped by staying home while you work two jobs.

Answer 8

Child support is based on his wages, not yours. The courts will know this and he can prove by his medical records he cannot work. Sounds like he may have an embolism (sp), but he needs to be checked out by the doctor right away. My neighbor's son had it and his father had it also, but something the doctor needs to treat. Coumadin is a blood thinner.

Answer 9

Your husband could be depressed by his situation, too. That only makes things worse. About the child support, if your husband isn't working you need to contact a lawyer because it is supposed to be based on his income, not yours. The legal advice will cost you some money, but would save money in the long run.

With correct diagnosis, your husband could have a whole different outlook on life, which would help you all.

He could also check out the state job service in your area about re-training for a different type of job that would fit in with his physical limitations better.

Answer 10

Firstly ask for a re-assessment on the child support. It should be based on his income and not yours, and if he's not working then maybe it can be reduced.
As to whether he's making more of his pain than there is, ask yourself this question - when there's something that he likes to do e.g. going to the pub, watching sports, etc, does his "pain" stop him doing those things which he enjoys? If so, then its probably very real. If not, I would have my suspicions that either he's faking, or at least making it worse than it is.