My husband is in the AirForce and I think I am a pretty good wife. I cook and clean every day and take care of our kid. I always go out of my way to make his day easier. I love doing all the little things for him to make his day better. My husbands happiness means so much to me so I bring him snacks that I make for all the people he works with almost every day along with his lunch and usually plenty for anyone who didnt bring lunch and he says that all the other guys have nothing to say but good stuff about me. Everyone is very nice to me down there but heres the problem...I am not exactly skinny. I have some weight to lose and I cant help but wonder if they actually think I am a good wife and that my husband is lucky to have me or if they just see me as the fat housewife? I know my husband is happy with me but I wonder if they talk behind our backs about my weight. What do you guys think?
2007-09-29 21:07:42 · 27 answers · asked by ilovemyssgt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I appreciate the answers and I know it doesnt really matter but do you think that they do this?
2007-09-29 21:11:43 · update #1
I can't speak for every guy out there, but if i was one of those men, i would think every time i saw you "what a lucky man." Women like you are somewhat rare.Men can be complete jackasses about women's weight, but when a buddies wife brings them food, is generally nice to them, and shows such love for her husband, behind the back bull crap doesn't happen.This is from my experience, and as i said i can't speak for all men. But when i have no lunch, or can't afford it at the time, any woman who brings me food is the most beautiful thing in the world. The old adage, "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach" has validity. Besides, what do their opinions matter? If YOU want to lose weight, do it. If you think they are being *****, then you don't need to bring them lunch any more. I hope this helps! :)
2007-09-29 21:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by Antimidas 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? I'd be making jokes about the fat housewife who brings food. Of course, she brings food! Not that I wouldn't indulge in the food or appreciate it or even be nice to her, but in private away from her or her husband? Probably to my own husband? Yes, I'd probably make a comment or two. I'd also be wondering about your husband and whether or not he had a thing for fat women, so by proxy your obesity would be making him look at least a bit strange.
Then again, it really depends on how fat you are. If we're talking even 20 lbs overweight, it's no big deal, but if you're obese? There's no way that people are not thinking poorly of you no matter what kind of person you are. It's a fact of life. By being obese you are not only unhealthy, but portraying that unhealthy attitude about yourself to the world. You're telling everyone that you don't care about yourself or your health. Yes, I admit there are some health problems that can cause people to be overweight, but these can be treated, so it's hardly an excuse. You do know the health risks right?
2007-09-30 04:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by some female 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Food and weight seem to be themes for you. You bring snacks to show your husband you love him and you worry that your weight will make you appear to be less of a wife. Being a good wife isn't about what you do, it's about who you are. Be careful about using food as an expression of love. If you want to bring him snacks, how about coming up with some extremely healthy but extremely delicious snacks. Then, instead of worrying about your weight, do something about it. Getting in shape is hard work and takes time but it can be done. If you really must show your love for your husband through your actions, then pick a healthy action like getting in shape. Think of it this way - be the best you can be for your husband - this includes your fitness. Most of fitness is diet so study diet and eating healthy. This isn't just your opinion of healthy but read up on the latest reseach and get a physical with your doctor. Suggest doing active things with your husband that the two of you enjoy. Shared experiences with your husband (other than eating) will bring you closer and show him you want to experience life with him.
Getting started is very tough and results will be slow to happen but just about anyone can do it. You'll feel better for yourself and your health overall longterm will improve. Get to the core of the issue and create your own incredible life!
2007-09-30 09:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tim B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't think negative thoughts like that...don't let that energy feed.
You know they are probably thinking, "I wish my wife came and brought food/snacks for me and my friends... then they start to think, why doesn't my wife do that?...
You see girl, you are beautiful just the way you were made and your husband loves you and i myself try and do all the little things to make my husbands day a little bit more easier too and i think it not common these days and a lot of men wish they had that, PLUS he said they have nothing but nice things to say about you... (and who wants to bang a bag of bones anyways!((LOL))
I think this is your own negative image being projected to yourself, so feel better about yourself, do something nice for yourself when you feel like this, run yourself a bubble bath, candles. buy a new shade of lipstick or put your nicest shoes on or a nice outfit.. anything to make you feel good...
if nothing else, just start eating healthier, maybe start going for walks with your family
besides it'd be rude of any of those guys to step up and say anything anyways, your husband would be livid!!! Hope all goes well with you. Take care....
2007-09-30 05:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by It's just me... 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you're wasting time wondering about something that you're not sure is even happening...you sound like a great wife and mother...and even if people are gossiping about you, they're the ones who are going to look petty and foolish...when it comes down to it...it doesn't matter...just keep being the loving person you are and put your energy towards your family...also a lot of men dont admit that they actually prefer women who "aren't exactly skinny"...it could be that these guys are jealous of your husband for having you...
2007-09-30 12:57:58 · answer #5 · answered by metalsnob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an excellent wife to me. There some people who see past the outer shell and see the beautiful heart within. I don't think he sees you as a fat housewive. Keep up the good work.
2007-09-30 04:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rafa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so conceited. Who are you to think that they would even care, let alone talk about you?
No doubt some will view you as fat, but most will not give you a second thought because they have much better things to do than talk about every fat woman they meet.
2007-09-30 06:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him, he loves you. That's good.
The worry about what the rest think is just low self esteem.
Is your husband fat? He's eating the food you prepare, so if you are fat he should be too.
Consider a light exercise routine, with short shorts. See if you get any appreciative looks when you are out running / stretching / doing yoga / pilates.
2007-09-30 04:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by Alan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
food=happiness (most of the time)
especially if they're guys
lol
so I'm sure they thinks your just a nice and caring person who actually loves their husband
not a "fat housewife"
don't worry bout it
either way you still have your husband
what honestly makes you think they talk about you like that?
2007-09-30 04:12:34 · answer #9 · answered by chrisp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
from what you said I guess that you gained weight due to your life routine after marriage
your husband off course loves you, but I'm sure he wishes maybe dreams of you as a hot skinny babe
you have to loose weight even if it comes on the meals account that you prepare for your husband & friends
The sexual intamacy is better than good cooking
2007-09-30 04:33:11 · answer #10 · answered by Far Away ( Almost there) 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋