Why is it when mairrage gets rocky the typical "solution" is always divorce?

Question

When you say your vows does it mean anything to you?? My husband and I are going through a rough time and ya we considered divorce but when we came to our senses we remembered what we had promised eachother. And I see so many people that get thier divorce and are liberated for a little while and than fall into being miserable all over again....Why is divorce always the first option when things get shaky?

when I say rocky...I'm not talking to people who have been cheated on or abused in anyway. I just see soooo many people who give up so easily myself included (thank goodness I came to my senses) I think its just our society now days.

Answer 1

Because for some it's an easy way out. Now mind you when it comes to abuse or adultery i say leave the baggage at the curb. But these ones who divorce for no apparent reason is crzy. I mean there will be times when you fight and it mainly seems to be money and they get divorced money comes and goes but love is worth riding it out.

Answer 2

Lack of time with each other. Is easier to consider divorce because is usual that the people are not well acquainted with each other. If you look at how many people are getting married after knowing each other for less than a year is no wonder divorce is the first thing out of their mouth. The more time two people spend together the more fights they will get into and the more they will get to know each other, if they get married too soon those fights come during the marriage and since they have not had enough experience with each other is easier to walk away. I believe that once married there shouldn't be divorce just so marriage becomes sacred again.

Answer 3

Unfortunately today the typical "solution" is divorce. That's why the divorce rate is so high - people give up too easily or else they think once you're married, you don't have to work at it. Believe it or not there is now even the term that is being used, "Starter Marriage", like one would refer to a "Starter Home". In Dallas, where I live there is even a business located in a busy urban area called "1 2 3 Divorce" - even though everyone laughs at it, apparently the lawyers who run it are making money hand over fist!
Are you and your husband going to counseling? All marriages have their ups and downs, but if you're truly married to the right person, you can make it work and even come out stronger from a rough patch. I wish you all the best and definitely salute your efforts!

PS. Obviously Hot_Tamale the first response is divorced, maybe even a few times!

Answer 4

I believe it is because we have become lazy. It is far easier to divorce than to work on your marriage.

An unfortunate sign of the times where some people get married hoping it will work but with a mind set of, well if it doesn't we can get divorced and try again??

You are completely right, when we marry we take vows and it is important that we realise we made promises to each other and we should work on the issues first and only divorce when truly we have no way of repairing our marriage. Thus the term(in Australia at least) is "Irreconcilable Differences".

Divorce has it's place, but it needs to be a last resort rather than the quick fix people use it for.

Answer 5

I'm so glad you have both remembered your vows and are trying to work through things. I honestly hope it all gets better for you.

Just a perspective, I am currently getting a divorce, but it was so not the first option. I tried counselling by myself to identify the problem (emotional abuse), and then I tried to talk to my husband. I've tried to get him to go to counselling. The abuse did not stop and I finally had no choice but to get out of there.

I don't think most people consider the first option, but more that they've tried many different things and have come to the conclusion that it's not going to work no matter what is tried. It's quite unfortunate. I agree with you that your vows said at your wedding were a promise made before God and it should not be broken. Unfortunately, it is not possible for everyone to keep their promises.

I sincerely wish your husband and you all the happiness in the world.

Answer 6

Divorce is such easy way "to get out of jail" please forgive the cliche..Everything is easier these days..Long lines at the bank,, go on line. Long lines at the grocery store,,have it delivered...this is the world that we live in..There is always a quick fix for everything. Here is an old but true cliche "It's cheaper to keep her" . I believe that that's a song as well. The bottom line is this,,God was taken out of the solution a long time ago.Our children don't even know how to say "please and thank you any more,,It's just not cool..Morality is just a thing of the past...Culture believes that it's better to test what you are GOING to buy than BUYING then testing..Many people are riding then buying, then when it's used up,there is no where left to go than down.. It's very hard to find people with those values .Its very hard not to be sexually attractive to another but if we can just eliminate that philosophy and just date and get to know that individual..Marriage might not be such a fairy tail...we can never know someone like we think we do..God forbids that youre dating an ICE MAN(serial killer) wannabe.. I do belive that God driven relationships are a great place to start. Not in bars,or clubs ,,but in church where your motives are not defiled..There, in church,,God comes first the relationships second...First commandment I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD ..YOU SHOULD HAVE NO OTHER GOD BEFORE ME...Don't look for relationships in church,,look for God instead.. He should be your first love.

Answer 7

Because people like instant gratification nowadays however there are times and situations that do call for separation or divorce like abuse and such each situation is different so it is really hard to say but I think alot of people don't really spend enough time really getting to know each other in the first place that I think would really probably solve alot of the problems because their judgement is clouded by so-called love. They really don't even talk and have no idea what the other thinks about religion, discipline, money, sex, family, oh I could go on but thats what people need to discuss and there probably would be less divorce.

Answer 8

The reason why when the going gets tough married people get divorced is because they have no respect marriage, they think its just a piece of paper and they take it to lightly. Ive seen some people, women especially, more into the big wedding with their fancy dress, ring, and having the big reseption then they were into their marriage, in fact, once they settle into marriage and all the attention is not on them and their big day its not fun for them anymore. If you turn back time,and go back to the 1950,s people did,nt get divorced like they do now, so I really believe that its todays society and generation that is making light of a truly wonderful commitment between a man and a woman, I feel really bad for my future grandchildren and their children, because if marriages are in trouble now I hate to see whats in store for our future.

Answer 9

It's not. And most people don't bail on marriage when things get shaky. As a matter of fact most people that I have known that were married then divorced should've ended the relationship ages ago. Sometimes you just go too far to turn around and go back. If you are not happy in a marriage then why drag it out?? It's a waste of Life, and life is short.

Answer 10

Easy, we have a "throw away society". On tv, music, & movies there is so much infelidiety, cheating, divorce it has made it the normal thing to do. People do not care for or about others, including their spouse. People want their "space" or independence, that does not work in marriage. Marriage is a union of all aspects of life.