what rights do I have knowing that I was told she was on the pill and we BOTH did not want children?
MA resident
2007-09-29 17:33:31 · 23 answers · asked by justcurious00004 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Look, I know I stirred up allot of emotions with this question. But it was just a VERY BASIC question, and for those that decided to label me, without knowing all the facts, well I guess we all know what you can do.
Neither one of us wanted kids! We BOTH agreed an abortion would be the best thing! Besides our personal lives there is also a medical issue on her side!!!
Now! Back to the question.
From anyone with a legal standpoint.
We originally agreed no kids, now things have changed. I am not in a place, NOR IS SHE, to have her come to full terms without serious repercussions. But, she is thinking of having the child anyways.
What are my legal rights if I do not want this child?
2007-09-29 18:00:53 · update #1
you have no rights per se. sorry. hindsight is 20/20 and really YOU should have worn a condom if you didn't wan kids. not saying it in a condescending way, just it happens to guys a lot and they always seem surprised. she may not have wanted kids either, but then when faced with the situation changed her mind. she really may have been on the pill, its not 100% effective, seriously. i was on the pill and using condoms with my husband and we still got pregnant with our second child when our first was only 3 months old. stuff happens. the only fully effective birth control is abstinence. geez i'm getting preachy, sorry. just dont think she totally set you up is all i'm saying and while you may be shocked or resentful now, hopefully your feelings will change to joy and love for the child later. best wishes, and good luck!
EDIT-EDIT-EDIT-EDIT-EDIT-EDIT:
LEGALLY- I believe all that you can do is sign away your parental rights. Depends on where you live. You may still be responsible for child support even if you sign away your rights. This advice came from a free legal advice site, but once again, check the laws of your state:
"A biological father is responsible for paying child support unless the child was adopted by someone else or his parental rights were severed by court action."
2007-09-29 17:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by CompletelyClueless 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
OK ... this is where the word PRO-CHOICE come into being .....
and while it MAY seem a little harsh .. YOU should have been using a condom and spermicide to help PROTECT against sexually Transmitted disease .. and MAYBE had YOU been a LITTLE more responsible in THIS area .. you wouldn't be in the situation you now find yourself in.
BUT ... I am pro-choice.... Therefore I support her right to change her mind and have the baby. Having an abortion is NOT something that should be undertaken if the person has any doubt that that is what they SHOULD do... IF they are not comfortable with the Idea .. they shouldn't have an abortion ...
THING IS ... It IS her choice because SHE has to live with the decision .. you would just move on and forget about it .. where as SHE would have IT always at the back of her mind ..
SO ... in this case YOU may have to pay child support ..
NEXT time YOU take more responsibility both for the prevention of STD's and Pregnancies.....
EDIT ( re your edit) .. again SHE changed her mind.. HER CALL .. HER RIGHT ... YOU didn't do anything to prevent a pregnancy yourself .... My guess is ... you WILL have to have some responsibility for that child .. whether you wanted to or not..
2007-09-29 17:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by ll_jenny_ll here AND I'M BAC 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As the alleged father, you really have no rights just yet. As soon as the baby is born, then you will have all the rights of a parent. It has been argued and lost time and again that one parent did not want a child and the other parent lied about birth control. No judge will buy that you don't have an obligation to support the child.
Speak to a lawyer in your state for detailed advise. Just
don't expect any thing different from what I have said. You know, you may like becoming a parent. Kids do have some benefits too.
I will add that your rights are extremely limited if not non-existent. Truly unless paternity testing confirms you to be the father, you have no rights just yet. Speak with an attorney in your home state now. Don't wait.
2007-09-29 17:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by hensleyclaw 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to suck it up and face the fact you're going to be a father. No you didn't choose it, but the fact is, the baby will need and deserve a loving father. If you were raised right you will see the truth in the statement I just made. Even though this isn't how you planned your life, who knows this may be the chapter in your life that opens you up to possibilitys you didn't even know existed.
As for legal rights you don't have any right to make her have an abortion. Abortion is a very emotional thing to a woman. Not to mention the fact that it hurts and kills the tiny human that was formed, by a union you and her made. Do the right thing, cry about the unjustice of it all, but get over it befor she is born, and just make the best out of it. Your child deserves it. And once you bond with her, you will never regret the choice to have been her daddy. 2 more things, you do NOT reserve the right to be pissed off at the mother forever for "ruining your life" It changes hers too. And you do not have to marry her because of the baby.
2007-09-29 17:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by dingydarla 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sorry my friend, you don't have the choice to make up her mind, but I take my hat off for her to let the child live. Next time you should be a little more responsible. Maybe she feels guilty about it and she feels adoption is a better choice, but regardless, love that child. Don't be a dirt bag and leave the child just because you didn't want a child. After all, this is a child, not a pet.
GOOD LUCK!!!! and use a condom next time.
2007-09-29 17:41:42 · answer #5 · answered by HAGAR!!! 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can still get pregnant while taking the pill. You have no rights at all in this case. It is her body and her choice to keep the child or not. There is no way you can take her to court and get a judge to rule that she must have an abortion because you don't want the baby. Not in any state.
2007-09-29 17:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by ★ Nina ★ 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you don't want the child then sign over your parental rights. And when you get informed later that the child needed you then you can tell it that you wanted to kill it. how would you feel to hear that your dad never wanted you to be born? I was told 2 years ago that my grandma wanted my mom to have an abortion It cuts rite to your Heart and you need to show that you have one.
2007-09-29 17:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by misstakenidea 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't really have any rights. You can't force her to have an abortion.
No birth control is 100% effective (though most pregancies on the pill can be chalked up to human error). And you run that risk when you decide to have sex.
If she decides to have the child, you will be responsble for the baby, even if you wanted an abortion,
Best advice, try to talk her into adoption.
2007-09-29 17:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kenneth C 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Hopefully no rights. If you didn't want children, you should have
1) practiced abstinence
2) If that didn't work out for some reason than you should have used a prophylactic to protect you from impregnating her and from deadly diseases.
It is too late now - you need to grow up and take responsiblity for yourself and your child.
2007-09-29 17:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by School Is Great 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is her right to let her baby live. You have no right to try to force her into an abortion, so I would not consult a lawyer. I just hope that the little one is brought up with love, because THAT is what matters.
2007-09-29 17:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋