I love my husband, why do I always want to cheat?

Question

I have been married for almost ten years. We have healthy happy children. We are active in our church. I love him, he makes me happy. However, every time the opportunity presents, for example, out of town at a work conference, out with my girlfriends etc, I have the distinct and almost irresistible urge to have an affair. I don't want to end my marriage, I don't want a long term affair, but I want to have sex with other people. I have crossed several lines more than once, though never had intercourse with anyone else. This is not how I see myself, and the guilt always makes me physically ill for several days following the incident. I vow that it is just too much to deal with and the thought of hurting him sickens me. Yes, once again I was at a conference, and there were several attractive men, and I ended up in one of their hotel room. I know it is wrong, but yet, it keeps happening, I feel as though I am losing my mind. I am deeply disturbed by my actions and need advice.

Ok... a few clarifications... by multiple lines I mean heavy flirting, and some kissing and touching, no intercourse. Also, I do not meet someone and go rent a hotel room, we are at conferences for work and are already staying in the same hotel, not going to some by the hour spot. They are people that are generally in the same line of work and we start off having a conversation about work and then it goes from there.

Answer 1

It is the temptation of the sin of lust, which will lead to adultery if you don't turn away and run from it. You must not let yourself get into that kind of situation. If conferences are causing you to want to stray, find a new job that you don't have to do that anymore.

You are already guilty of emotional infidelity. You have to stop this, adultery is a sin with dire consequences and even if your husband doesn't know about your sins, God is watching you. Maybe you should consider that when you are getting all lustful with another man, remember that God is seeing everything you are doing. Remember your church family and what they would think if they saw what you are doing.

God always gives you a way out, you need to take the nearest exit.

Answer 2

You say "I have crossed multiple lines" and "I ended up in one of their hotel room" yet at the same time you mentioned that you "never had intercourse with anyone else" I'm a little lost.

If I were you, I would really analyze what is going on, or not going on in your marriage, that would make you want to cheat on your husband continuously in this manner. Ask yourself if it has anything to do with him as a husband, what he may or may not be lacking, or if it's you having a mid life crisis, or maybe trying to relive what you feel you did not do in your 20's. I really don't know. A marriage counselor could answer these questions better than you or I, but I would communicate more with my husband before you end up throwing it all away over a few hours in a dirty hotel room with some random guy. Just think about it. Good luck to you and your family. = )

Answer 3

You need to see a councilor.

Sounds to me that you are bored and having these flirtatious encounters adds some spice that may be missing in your marriage. There is a risk and a danger to what you are doing that is turning you on. When you finally succumb to that man and have intercourse, that will be another rush for you. Once you had that sexual encounter, you will have others to feel that same excitement. Then of course your husband will find out (its inevitable) and then you will get a divorce and see your children only on the weekends.

I think the solution is turn these risky ventures toward your husband instead of the total stranger. What kind of sex are you having with your husband? Is he boring you. Does he need to put some variety in the lovemaking? You may need to explore these things with him. If you can't bring yourself to talk about this with him then...

See a councilor.

Answer 4

You do need help. You got that right. If you only knew what they are saying about you. Get help quick before you get a STD. are a baby that doesn't belong to your husband. You can believe it are not something will happen that your husband will find one of these affairs out. And you will not have to get the divorce. Your husband will. And that will be good for you. Control your self and put the tramp away. And don't tell us you have not had intercourse. You are lying.

Answer 5

In fact, emotional affairs can be stronger and more difficult to get out of than physical affairs.One of my friends from sugarmommymeet.com told me some ways to aviod it as following and i hope it help you.
Do not make a habit of taking private lunches or breaks with the same person over and over.
Set up a review committee in your mind. Ask yourself, "Would my wife, my mom, my wife's mom, my sister approve of what I am doing right now?" or, "Would my husband, my dad, my husband's dad, my brother approve of what I am doing right now?"
If the answer is no, then I offer you what I call my RLH prescription.
RHL stands for Run Like Hell!

Answer 6

How dare you all of you! This woman loves her husband but is strong in resisting the lust she feels for other men. I admit I am married and I wasn't as strong and had an affair. The only thing I can tell her is it won't end well. The affairs NEVER EVER do. Fantasize, touch yourself, channel the urge into something else that drives you. Luckily for me my husband never found out, and I will never, ever tell him.

People should not be so judgemental of flaws. We all have them. Grow up.

Answer 7

After being in relationship with Seti for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed MOTHER DEITY GODS via email, [e-mail], and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by reffering him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem . Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: [e-mail], you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR FOR THIS WONDERFUL THING YOU HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: [e-mail], CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM.

Answer 8

I THINK IT'S TIME TO INVEST IN A VIBRATOR BEFORE YOU MAY HAVE TO INVEST IN A LAWYER. JUST DO YOUR JOB AND DO NOT MINGLE AROUND THE CONFERENCES AFTERWARD. GO TO YOUR ROOM OPEN YOUR SUITCASE AND BUST OUT WALLY IT WILL EASE YOUR FRUSTRATIONS. OH AND YES IF THIS IS A REGULAR THING BELIEVE ME YOUR NAME IS MUD AND EVERY GUY AT THESE CONFERENCES THAT HAS BEEN TO THE OTHERS KNOWS YOU AS A HO.THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO BE ASHAMED OF FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND. HOW TRULY SAD AND WEAK.

Answer 9

When you have a problem and have no idea how to fix it you need a professional therapist to help you.

Make an appointment before something happens that can not to fixed.

Answer 10

i feel really sorry for your husband, really. if you need to be with other men than you should let your husband be free to give him what he deserves, a faithful wife. besides, does it matter if you work with these guys or if you didnt have sex yet? do you think that makes it less bad?