Do you ever just want to be loved for who you are, standing infront of someone, right now?

Question

I feel like I am only loved sometimes. Like when I say something smart, or do something good. Not when I make a mistake then say sorry. My mom caught me drinking alcohol today and I said sorry but it wasn't good enough. I won't do it again unless i ask because I don't wanna let anyone down. I just want to be loved even when I'm not perfect, it hurts. I'm 14 btw.

SHE SAID NEXT TIME I WANNA DRINK LET HER KNOW

Answer 1

Your mom loves you for who you are, she's just disappointed and maybe even blames herself for your choice to drink alcohol.

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear that you are going through that. I have a 13 year old. I complete my desires with I love you. I can tell that your mother desires good things for you. You need to hear that even if you do something horrible that she will still love you. Being upset and disappointed have nothing to do with love. Love is a choice. It is a choice to not walk away. It is a choice to fight for what is best for the one you love. They don't always want what you want, but it does not make their love conditional. To make it clear, ask your mother does she love you even though you were caught drinking. It sounds like she has high expectations of you and was disappointed. It is not letting your mother down, it is letting yourself down. You should have high expectations of yourself as well. She sees you as a scholar that can do great things. You must have shown your potential for this. Life is not perfect. There are a lot of parents that walk away from being parents. They allow their children to drink, take drugs, curse, not go to school, wear what ever they want and act how they want. If your mother does not want this for you, then she loves you.

Answer 3

Hon,

Your mother loves you very much, because she is concerned about you drinking. 14 is very young to even think of alcohol. It appears as though you don't love yourself. Sometimes we think parents come down too hard, but if a parent is concerned they do care. They may not always show it the way we would like. Even if a parent is not well, or cruel (not saying this is your case)--always find good support systems to learn to love yourself, build your self-esteem and follow your dreams. I have always found that a good church can help or even school programs. Surround yourself with love and support and dear one,most of all take care. I pray that you are surrounded by angels and you will find your way to a wonderful joyful life. Never give up. From one that was young once and been there...
God Bless-

Answer 4

You know what? I feel exacltythe same way. Actually, I'm 17. Until last year, I always acted as everyone else did or wanted me to. This year, by some unknown reason, I started being myself. I am such a dreamer, childish most of the time; I realised that I have to do what makes me happy. Nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes... I think you shoud be who you really are... And perhaps it's not like that, I'm sure they (?) love you wether you say sth smart or not... You cant' love someone "sometimes".

Answer 5

Yeah, sometimes I feel that way too. I mean everyone makes mistakes and I want to be loved even though I'm not perfect. I want people to love the true me, I don't want to be loved be people who don't love the real me.

But, your mom truly loves you even if she did say that sorry wasn't good enough. She was probably just upset that you made a mistake.

Answer 6

I'm sure that she still loves you.

Loving someone, and becoming angry at that person are two different things. Especially, when the anger is with a just cause. You are loved for who you are, but that is something that one at your age should not do. She loves you, but sometimes being firm and hard is the best expression of love. Remember, if she didn't love you then she wouldn't care enough to stop you from drinking.

Answer 7

Your Mom loves you so much that's why she doesn't want you going astray but you have to explain why you drank. She, in my opinion, just wants to discipline you and doesn't want you to follow some teenagers but then again you have to communicate openly to clear things up. Let her know that you're not perfect and you know your limits. In her case, if she doesn't want to hear an explanation, then she got issues. You and your mom have to listen to each other and meet halfway where it's good. Love is reciprocal.

My mom is kinda like yours too and even worse i think because i was beaten so many times before with belts, sometimes hands tied up. I stand up for myself of what i think is right and try listening to her when i know i'm wrong or doubtful. After many years she has mellowed down (so did i) and we understand each other better now. I'm 21.

Answer 8

I totaly agree with you we need do be loved for who we are not what we represent in the sociaty. People have their good times and the bad times we need to be supported in both of the times. You did something that teenagers from all the world do the point is to recognise your mistake try next time to be more carefull.

P.S Your mom acted very good my parent's would had killed me!

Answer 9

Honey, she's just worried for you. Even though we as parents know it's normal (and we did it all too), we still worry. I know I tend to overanalyze everything about my children, like, she might be thinking OMG she's going to be an alcoholic, that's how I get with my kids. It's only cuz we care SO much. Perhaps alcoholism runs in your family as it does mine, if so, it's even more likely for her to overreact about drinking. None of us are perfect, and even adults still make mistakes (I've done really stupid things even in my adult life, I'm 36). They don't judge as harshly as it seems. Parents tend to overplay things in hopes that it will make their children listen to them.

Answer 10

She just wants you to be the best person you can be. I'm sure she does love you for who you are but you have to love yourself all the time as well right or wrong.