A few years ago I was in an abusive and controlling relationship. He would hit me, curse me just total disrespect. The only reason why I stayed with him was because he said that if I ever tried to leave him he would kill me so I was actually living in fear. Well one day I decided I didn't care I had to get out of that situation so while he left to go to work I packed my clothes phoned my best friend and told her that I was coming to stay at her house for a while. Well I guess word got out about me escaping because lately he's been calling me from blocked numbers saying I know where you are you're not safe anywhere at anytime. And he knows where I work. I am just living in fear and I don't know what to do. I cry myself to sleep, I'm scard for my life. What can I do so I don't have to feel this way anymore?
2007-09-29 15:41:14 · 11 answers · asked by LiLAnGeL 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I really just want to get on with my life but I can't because I feel like everyday could be my last.
2007-09-29 15:42:04 · update #1
Contact your local Women's Shelter, they will help you, in extreme cases they will help you move and hide to where he can't find you.
2007-09-29 15:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
call the cops get the restraining order and possibly go live at a woman's shelter (most of the answers above-sorry didn't read them all)
Men like this know that they can control there women with fear. He is trying to physiologically control you and scare you into going back too him. he is a sick and twisted individual. be very care full and what ever you do DONT go back to him. it will only make things worse. Men like this often turn to physical and even sexual assault. I would suggest getting Mace or other legal ways to defend your self so that you can get away if he does take it to the next level. try to record the calls if you can because they would be able to use them in court. Also enroll in a self defense coarse such as karate. The local woman's shelter of police station should know where you could take a class at
Have faith and be strong you will overcome this God is on your side. Prayer works! Never give up!
2007-09-29 16:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by bee 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As others have said, call the police. This is very important because A) it might scare him off B) he might get arrested depending on the laws in your state and C) they will know who has been giving you trouble provided something happens to you in the future.
Also, as one other poster mentioned, a Women's Shelter might be a good idea.
Change your number, move, get a new job, etc so he cant find you. Delete any online profiles as well.
Another good idea might be to get a taser or pepper spray and carry it with you at all times, or take a self defense class.
2007-09-29 15:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK now first try to relax if you can manage it with all this crud going on in your life.
now 1st go to the Court house and ask for the district attorneys office. go talk to the DA and he or she will advise you on things to do most-likely starting with a no contact order. let them know about the calls and ask for a sheriff or the DA to give you help with asking the telephone company to release records of all incoming calls to the house you are staying at. with that they will be able to prove the need for a heavier restraining order and also be able to act on it when he breaks it by calling yet again.
stand strong and do talk to the authorities they are there to help, but can only do so much tell he incriminates him self.
good luck and god keep you safe.
perhaps you are right serin, but in any event i thank the advice i gave ........ahh well actually i know it is sound and good advice and will do what needs to be done in such a case.
2007-09-29 16:20:19 · answer #4 · answered by just another man 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
and you are the same chick that was talking about how can atheists prove there isnt a god? I mean, look at you. You are going through that because you choose to. Please dont blame it on a deity because you have had lack of faith or trust in this fairy tale, but start to take responsiblity right now! Know that you are living the best live ever, dont concentrate on the bad thats going on because you will attract more of it.
You are the ONLY person responisible for the thoughts that go on in your head. You must control these thoughts in order for you to accomplish the things you want. I used to feel like my life was already written out and God already knew things before it happened. That causes you not to think. Start to take your life back. Think for yourself.
There are lots of things you can do to rid yourself of this person. Im not the biggest fan of the police, but you could consult with them. Talk to yourself, ask yourself some real questions. I mean, whos fault is it that you keep getting beat up....yours my friend.
Man's outer cirmcumstances are a perfect reflect of the inner. Which basicly means, what is going on around you-outside of you is a perfect refection of what you are thinking, what you are feeling. You are feeling fear, no love, feeling unwanted, unhappy-and guess what-YOU ATTRACT MORE OF IT!! Wanna know why, because you are vibrating at that frequency and you attract people and things that are tuned in to your same vibration.
Wont find that in your bible. But I used to be a christan. Born and raised in Bible Belt Mississippi but I started to question everything and the answers came flying at the speed of light. But it was up to me to RECIEVE what I asked for.
My apologies if there are lots of mispelled words. Spell check isnt working right now ;_(
2007-10-01 08:52:36 · answer #5 · answered by science rules! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He got you that scared? What? This dude has serious problems. Get a restraining order. Keep your distance girl. He has mental control over you. He knows he can't get anyone else and don't let him pressure his way back in with you. It took you too long to get away. Don't show fear. Keep a taser and mace with you. If he ever comes at you, you mess his world up!
2007-09-29 15:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would do best to immediately contact the police. You should not have to live in fear like this. What this guy is doing and has done to you is certainly illegal. Do not hesitate to involve the authorities in something like this.
2007-09-29 15:47:53 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah O 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
1. Call the cops, get a restraining order.
2. If he's beyond restraining orders, and truly dangerous, then move, get a new identity, etc.
2007-09-29 15:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by G-zilla 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man, you people are so gullible. Did you even think to check her other questions? She asked one THREE HOURS AGO asking if she was an inconsiderate wife because her husband wants sex more than she does. Did this story not sound stereotypically bogus? It's a by-the-numbers Lifetime Original Movie!
This is the problem when you stop questioning stories of rape or abuse: you always assume the male is guilty and the woman is a long-suffering saint, ignoring that tiny, rational voice in the back of your head that advises caution.
Think with your head, not with your bleeding heart.
2007-09-29 16:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by Steve 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Your experience sounds hauntingly familiar...I, too, went through what you are going through right now. What I'm about to say might frighten you but you need to go to your county courthouse and file for a protection order. If he's anything like my ex, he may violate this order- but if he does, he's looking at jail time. (And that's not a bad thing, esp. if he continues to stalk you.) Do not accept his phone calls, do not talk to him through other people. If you do, it will encourage him further, no matter what it is you say to him. Change your phone number (and have it unlisted), and change the locks on your doors. Don't tell anyone your new phone number unless you are certain that they will not reveal it to anyone else. It would also be a good idea to put wooden or metal blocks in your windows. You also need to keep a written log of these events...his phone calls, his stalking behavior. Record the date, time, details, witnesses (if any), each and every time he harrasses you. This is important because you may need to use this evidence when you file for your protection order, and later on, too, if he breaks it. If you at any time feel threatened- don't hesitate to call the police. You may want to talk with the police anyway. Let them know what's going on, and ask them if they would be willing to beef up the patrol in your area. Usually, they are very willing to do this. This also clues them in to the problem, so that they will respond more quickly if you end up needing to call them again. It would also be a good idea to have someone stay with you (preferrably a female, because a male might enrage him further). He may see a male enter your home and assume it's "the guy you left him for"- and this could push him right over the edge. Let your neighbors know what's going on. I know that's the last thing you want to do, but, the more people that know what's happening, the more he'll be in the "spotlight", and the less he will feel secure in getting away with his stalking behavior. The last thing he wants is to get caught. Your neighbors can be of great value. Mine were. My ex was seen breaking into my house (thankfully I was not home), and one of my neighbors saw him and called the police. Having your neighbors be aware can be extra protection for you, whether you are home or away from home. I would also suggest getting yourself into counseling right away, with someone who specializes in domestic violence. They can help you by giving you advice on how best to protect yourself, and connect you with resources. And, of course, they give you an outlet to talk about your feelings in a safe, non-biased environment. I'm really sorry that you are going through this. It is very frightening. I know just how you feel. I would also like to suggest that you get a cell phone (if you don't already have one) and program it to dial 911 with the touch of one button if you can, and keep it charged and with you at all times. You might also consider installing flood lights/motion sensor lights in the front and back of your house. Remember, too, there is safety in numbers...try to keep people around you and with you, even at night. I hope this advice helps. If you want to, feel free to email me here at Y/A. Whatever you do, do not keep a firearm in the house to "protect yourself" with. If he breaks in and finds it, it could end up being used against you. The best protection you have is in having as many people knowing what is going on (as hard as that is, I know). Don't underestimate the level of danger you are in. I am telling you the truth here. More abused women are killed (by their partners) during the six months (to one year) following separation from the abuser- they are in more danger during this time than they were during the entire time they lived with their partner. You can't take this casually. Do everything you can to ensure your safety.
Write me if you need more help.
2007-09-29 17:34:16 · answer #10 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋