My husband showers maybe once a week if that. Sometimes he'll go 2-3 weeks without showering. He brushes his teeth on about the same schedule. He'll use deodorant every now and then, but generally he is smelly & very dirty. He also lets his facial hair go, wears the same clothes for days at a time, etc. He is extremely attractive (girls still flirt with him even though he's dirty and smelly!!!) but he's gross. Not to sound conceited, but I am pretty attractive as well and always try to look nice for him - hair, clothes, makeup, perfume, etc. so it upsets me that he cares so little about his health & appearance. I've tried talking to him nicely, getting angry, offering to shower with him, withholding sex, complimenting him when he cleans up, etc. NOTHING works. He gets filthy at his job and he ruins sheets, pillows, etc. The smell is so bad that I can't stand to be near him, let alone sleep in the bed or be intimate. It's ruining our marriage and I don't know what else to do!
2007-09-29 15:33:54 · 18 answers · asked by DAISYDIDDLE 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
has he always been this way or is this a new developement?? if its new he may be suffering from depression and he may need help getting over it. or maybe he has self esteem issues. if he has low self esteem he wouldnt care how he looks or smells. you may try to get him to see a therapist to help sort out why he lets himself go so much. good luck--i have a 16 year old that i have the same problem with. fortunately if i remind him to shower and put on deoderant he usually does it.
2007-09-29 15:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by wild&free 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I'm very depressed, I only do just exactly what I have to do to get by. And I don't enjoy getting wet, I don't like brushing, and if clean clothes aren't available I'll wear the old ones or stay in my PJs.
Have you checked into the possibility that it's not your husband's fault? That maybe he's so depressed, he just CAN'T? This isn't just poor hygiene, there's something more. Take him to the dr., preferably a psychiatrist.
TX Mom
not an expert, but been there.
2007-09-29 22:40:28 · answer #2 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any chance that your husband might be depressed? Because poor hygiene (especially if it wasn't previously poor) may be a symptom of depression.
If you don't believe depression is the cause, it sounds like you have definitely communicated to him that you don't like it and wish he would improve his hygiene. If he is refusing, then it sounds like he doesn't care about himself or about your wishes. It may well ruin your marriage, because you shouldn't have to live with that -- and I wouldn't. You could try to get him to go to counseling with you, but short of that I don't know what else you can do. I'm sorry.
2007-09-29 22:40:27 · answer #3 · answered by writer272002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was always like this, why did you marry him? If that is the case, he won't change, and you must either accept it or move out. Remember - it is VERY hard to change your own habits - never expect to change anyone else's.
If this is a new behavior, then it may be a symptom of depression - in which case, you should urge him to get some medical help.
2007-09-29 22:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to be a downer, but is your husband depressed? What are his reasons, simply lazy or what? To me, I first got the feeling that he was depressed..feeling hopeless, doesn't care about his appearance. If this is the case, he needs to get some help. If it keeps up this way, things could go downhill very very fast. Best of luck.
2007-09-29 22:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by }{PurpleLipz}{ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am concerned that your husband might be suffering from a mental illness - possibly depression. You do not give enough information to say for sure, but it is an educated hunch.
2007-09-30 00:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Bob B. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him ether to get better hygiene or something will happen between you 2. Encourage him to take a shower. And smell good. encourage him.
2007-09-29 23:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by Elesabeth21 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not offer to shower with him. You can shave him too and make it part of your evenings fun.
2007-09-30 01:02:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him if he doesnt u will get a restraining order and that should do it or tell him u r gonna go live at ur mom untill he showers
2007-09-29 23:39:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you need to hire someone strong enough to pick him up and throw him in the trash. If you truely are attractive than you won't have any trouble finding someone else.
2007-09-29 22:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by MD 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋