Are we growing apart?

Question

My husband and I have a 6 mo old baby. I am a stay at home mother. I am beginning to feel as though we have nothing in common. He comes home from work and tells me about his day I tell him what the baby did, and 10 minutes after he gets home we have nothing left to say to eachother. It is so sad to me that we used to talk for hours and now we cant speak for more than a matter of minutes Are we growing apart? Am I not taking care of myself anymore/not attractive anymore? Has he found other interests or is he just not interested in me?

Answer 1

i dont think u guys are growing apart. i just think that maybe u guys have been together for so long that u know everything about eachother that now there is less talking to do. i think every marriage couple goes through this

Answer 2

If my husband and i can still talk after 28and one half years of married you sure can to. During the day watch a little TV like CNN and talk about what is going on in the world. Or take the baby for a walk around the neighborhood and talk to some neighbors,that way when your husband get home and eats dinner and settles in for the night it will give you two something to talk about. I hate to be the one to tell you this but a husband really doesn't care if a baby smiled or laughed or said da-da for the first time,we mothers find that stuff adorable not our husbands. Don't you sense it when you are talking about your baby, sure he will listen but he really isn't hearing you. Men are very jealous of a new baby in the house after all he has been replaced he is no longer number one. When he tells you about his day do you ask questions or do you just listen and when he is done thats it. Remember if you are bored he is to, and there are a lot of women out there that would love to talk to your husband about fun stuff,you know the things you use to talk about. When a husband gets to the point where it's no fun coming home to the same old same old it's not going to take much for a female to get him laughing talking then lunch then happy hour then before you know it, he is calling home telling you that he has to work late. Then he just starts coming home late without calling you to let you know. 99%of all affairs are with co-workers, the dreaded female office workers who are dress to kill and always look their best. Men working around women are easy prey and before the man knows what's going on he is already caught in her web. Just keep an open mind to this and maybe it won't happen to you, like it did me and thousands of other women and men. I stayed with my husband but it's been hard at times. I know now what it takes to keep a marriage alive good and loving toward each other. My husband is my best friend and we enjoy each others company you can't ask any more then that.

Answer 3

Sounds like you may have a bit of postpardum. Hun, this is all very normal. It is a huge adjustment for the both of you, and now its not just about you 2 anymore. Also you are home with baby all day and though its work, he gets to go and get time out of the home and changing diapers, you may subcounciousy be missing that . Its hard adjusting to baby, and change lie this. Give it time, seriously, this is how the majority of us feel for like the forst yr. your hormones are still all out of wack and you have been focusing on baby and not you. maybe do little things for you, that would be healthy for you to have some you time even if its just going to walmart w/o baby and looking around. you need to start doing some of those things you used to do for yourself. trust me,I'm sure he understands not putting makup on all the time etc... he loves you obviously, he is your husband. most men don't expect us to be looking like a celebrity , after birth, this takes time to get yourself back. At least a yr, sometimes even longer, but you will, and he probubly isn't concerned with weather or not you are attractive. in his eyes you are beautiful, you gsave him a baby. cheer up, this is all VERY normal.

Answer 4

No, it's just than when you are stuck at home all day, there isn't much to talk about. On one of his days off each week, go out without the baby (he is fully capable of caring for his own child) and do something.........

If I were you, I would volunteer somewhere once a week. You will feel better about yourself. You will meet people. You will have something to contribute to a conversation.

Also, once a month, take the baby to your mom's or his mom's and go out with him somewhere. Dinner, movies, bowling, grocery store, anything. Just go. It will be weird at first, but the time together with no talk of the baby burped five times or learned to turn over, etc will remind you two that you love each other. Sometimes we all need a dose of alone couple time.

Answer 5

This is very normal. You need to make some friends so he isn't the only one you have to talk to. Also find some time for you. Stay at home moms tend to over focus on their husbands and what is wrong with everything. Why don't you set up a night for you two to go do something by yourselves like a movie and dinner and a nice evening when you get home.

Answer 6

Honey....You just recently had a baby, a big adjustment for the best of relationships. Take on a hobby, zone in on things that all those hours of talking told you he was interested in. You have a lifetime to spend together., not every one of those minutes have to be filled with conversation. Talk to him, there may not be any problem at all, other than he's worked all day and may be tired.

Answer 7

Welcome to reality honey. I think the majority of us woman face the same problem. The truth is the man is probably tired after work, he works hard to provide for you and the baby. He probably would rather just relax, how many people can talk too much after a long hard day of work?
Many of us woman have had this idea at a young age instilled by Disney, the woman meets her handsome prince and they live happily ever after..... when reality hits, our bubble bursts. A good marriage needs work. Take some private time together, it will be alright.

Answer 8

I right there with you girl....how long have you two been married...my husband and I have been married for 3 years and once i became a SAHM it seemed like we have absolutely NOTHING in common anymore...at times i get upset that he gets to get out and talk to people and i'm stuck at home all day with a 2.5 year old and pregnant...I would just sit down when the baby is napping or something and have a heart to heart conversation about your feelings

Answer 9

I felt the same way after our first. I stayed at home and had nothing to say. I found that verbal conversation was not what I needed. I needed to be touched and physically close. I believe he needed this too. Even after our third baby this works. After the baby is asleep just curl up on the couch together, rub his back and neck, lay your head on his lap and let him play with your hair, anything close and physical relieves stress and makes the relationship closer.

Answer 10

Ask him everything you just asked us. Find things to talk about. It shouldn't be hard for you, us women always have something to say or talk about :-)

My hubby isn't big on talking, but I draw it out of him. And we do have common ground on politics and religion. We have 5 daughters and no sons, so he's around us chatty girls all the time. To relax and unwind after a long days work, he goes to the bedroom to watch the news or a movie. Aaaand, we're okay with that.

Don't stress so much. With the new addition to your fam, things may change, but you both also have to work at it to make time together.

Hang in there.

Answer 11

I dont think you're growing apart, it's just that marriage isn't always full of things to talk about or things to do. Hell me and my hubby sometimes dont have much of anything to talk about, but we still love each other. I understand what you're saying though, it does make you wonder somtimes dont it? You just had a baby not too long ago, so you are stressed anyway. Try to find a sitter for a day and you and him go out like you use to. Good luck to ya. Oh, and dont listen to Mr. prick skull head up there, he dont know....