Can you fill in the blanks to complete the sentences below in a clever or amusing way?

Question

Our friend, Sunshine, found a Magic Orb while cleaning out the garage. She promised a lot of people she would ask the Orb questions to help them. However, her beloved Matt showed up unexpectedly and while they were busy the Orb fell from the ...table ...and broke. Can you use your own psychic powers to reveal the answers to these questions?

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted ___________ answers to this question were ________, there would be _____________ to ______________.

2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop _____________ and start _______________.

3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt ___________ and thought ____________.

4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about ________________ and ________________.

5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know _______________.

Butkrakistan? Isn't that right between Bugayatollahstan and Krankimuslamabad? I've found that it helps standing a mirror across the table from me when I eat, too. If Sunshine needs help, I'm sure Guinness lil terrier likes pancake syrup. I checked with eHarmony, they said they don't do orbs, sorry guy. I didn't know Staceyb was a member of the Psychic Friends Network?

I did have Questions 6 - 10 but ran out of space. This is what they were:

6. What is the opposite of "ON"?
7. What is the opposite of "DAY"?
8. How many beers will Numbsain drink before he answers this question?
9. How many beers will Numbsain drink after he answers this question?
10. How many more questions did I intend to right?

Answer 1

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted complex, elaborate yet unsubstantiated facts in the form of answers to this question were translated into Narwhalese (according to the Merriam-Webster Unabashed Dictionary of the Narwhalese Language) and broadcast into the habitat of this primitive and ancient sea dwelling behemoth, its increased proclivity toward intellectual pursuits and decreased interest in feeding would result in a marked increase in the number of sea monkeys (brine shrimp) in the worlds oceans, enough in fact, to feed all the children of Butkrakistan one each, just enough to make them mad. This increased agitation and social unrest among the inhabitants of this tiny, largely unknown eastern European country will eventually lead to a revolution, political upheaval and the rise of Butkrakistan to a formidable world power, threatening enough to cause the U.S. to drop the first of a new breed of nuclear weapons which will leave a crater the size of China and the resultant nuclear winter will wipe out all life on the planet. Frikken Butkrakistanis!

2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop shaving your mustaches and start shaving only one of your legs so that when you lie in bed it feels like theres someone next to you.

3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt an ant crawl up her leg and thought "this is really out of his jurisdiction and probably WAY too small of a job for U.S. Marshall Matt Dillon but I'm sure under the circumstances he wouldn't mind coming over and carefully applying a little pancake syrup to my leg but, Oh my buttons!!! How ever will he remove it after it's done its job!!!"

4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about Why everything got to evolve and it had to be created out of thin air by God himself already endowed with the sum total of all knowledge and wisdom that every living creature in the universe will ever possess. The orb was quoted in a recent interview to have said: "Y'know I'm tired of always being true and right and all knowing. Why can't I just go out on dates with slutty chicks and get laid once in a while.

5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know if wow_bill has found that special someone in his life and if not would he be interested in a hot young babe with a bodacious pair of— and then the time ran out on the message

Answer 2

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted serious answers to this question were intelligent, there would be no wars or hunger or worldly problems to solve.

2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop fondling your orbs and start looking for a real boyfriend or girlfriend.

3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt elated and thought Matt would soon be by for a visit.

4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about Laurel and Hardy.

5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know, do you know the way to San Jose.

Answer 3

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted ingenious answers to this question were rational there would be an end to ignorance

2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop dying inside yourself and start living outside yourself

3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt awestruck and thought what in the world is this thing and what does it do. How long has it been here and where did it come from.


4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about the past and the future to come.

5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know your name!

Answer 4

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted well thought out answers to this question were lined up (like in a firing squad) , there would be.... Wall to Wall wit and whimsy.
2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop wasting your time and efforts on here and start indulging in real life activities!
3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt a spark begin to ignite and thought
"Who needs Matt...this orb is SO HOT!!!
4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about coming up with a **** load of bogus infomation and sheer crap that would cause trouble among the participants of Yahoo Answers. (bad, bad orb!!)
5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know "How would Matt and Sunshine answer this question?" (see above for partial answer to this one!)

Answer 5

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted __assinine____ answers to this question were __placed next to one another_, there would be __a straight line stretching from here__ to __the moon___.


2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop _spending countless hours on answers____ and start ___doing something more productive__.


3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt __kinda warm and fuzzy inside___ and thought _oh my gorgeous MattBaby♥___.


4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about __how he got himself into that mess__ and _what he could do to get out of it___.


5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know _"Do you know the way to San Jose?___.

Answer 6

Our friend, Sunshine, found a Magic Orb while cleaning out the garage. She promised a lot of people she would ask the Orb questions to help them. However, her beloved Matt showed up unexpectedly and while they were busy the Orb fell from the ...table ...and broke. Can you use your own psychic powers to reveal the answers to these questions?

1. If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted their somewhat strange answers to this question were all coralled, there would be much hemming and hawing to explain......
Such as....."WHY answer such a goofy question?!"

2. For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop wasting your time with a moronic cowgirl from Virginia who thinks she can tell the future and start finding your own answers.

3. When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb, she felt a rush of passion rush through her loins and thought , "Where the hell is Matt?!!"

4. The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage, and had a lot of time to think about Sunshine and her libidious relationship with the once stoic U.S.Marshal of Dodge City.

5. Dionne Warwick's "Psychic Friends Network" called and wants to know, "Do Matt and Sunshine really make love all the time?"
Matt told Sunshine, "I'll take this one, darlin'...........................
" Yup."

Answer 7

If all the wit and whimsy of the people who submitted crazy answers to this question were bottled, there would be reason to drink.
For all the lovelorn answerers, my heart truly goes out to you all, but you should stop typing and start living
When Sunshine first touched the Magic Orb she felt sick and though Crap.
The Magic Orb just sat around all those years in a musty old garage and had a lot of time to think about questions and answers.
Dionne Warwick's "psychic friends network" called and wants to know why I am answering these questions on a Saturday night???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!