Ok my girlfriend is 21 and her husband is 19 years old. They will be married a year in December and he already seems to be tired of her. Every time he doesnt get what he wants he is really mean to her and talks to her like skum saying stuff like " I hope you die" and your a ***** and every other mean thing like that. Now she has never done anything but worship the ground he walks on and she puts him first over everyone including herself. Believe me our friendship has suffered in the past. But three days ago he left her and moved all his things including food to his mothers house saying he needs to be away from her. Now he wont talk to her and she doesnt know what he is doing or if he is ok. He writes mean things on his stupid myspace that are directed toward her and then before this little break he never wanted to have sex with her. But he wants to have a long time period without her. I dont think he is doing right by her and I want some more advice for her, Please help her???????!!!!
2007-09-29 14:24:38 · 26 answers · asked by Kayla S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously he was much too young to get married in the first place. This is WHY he wants a "break". Young teens in their on again off again highschool relationships take breaks. Not married adults. She needs to see a lawyer and file for divorce. And IF she wants to get married find a man who is old enough to do so not just chronlogicially but mentally/emotionally.
2007-09-29 18:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they got married too young and without taking the time to find out if the really had the same goals and plans for life and could resolve little things.
Also sounds like he has someone else too. Probably never stopped as he wasn't ready for marriage or commitment.
But before you get all down on him, remember, there are two people in the marriage. A marriage built on a strong foundation is less likely to crumble. She didn't exactly do the smart thing. He didn't turn into a jerk the day he said I do, there were plenty of signs before. She chose to ignore them, so she needs to own up to her part.
Getting down with her and obsessing about his myspace and what he's doing and who he is doing and how bad he is, only hurts her. Listen, but don't advise. Because I guarantee you if you bad mouth him, and she does the stupid thing and gets back with him, you are out the door. She will tell him what you said and you will be left on the curb with the garbage while she continues her dysfunction.
2007-09-29 14:33:10 · answer #2 · answered by James Watkin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did they not know each other very long before they got married? She's young enough to realize her mistake, cut her losses and move on with her life, without him. If he's already treating her like this after such a short time. . . it could only get worse.
He sounds pretty nasty and immature. In the meanwhile, stick by her, support her and help her realize that he's not worth her while.
2007-09-29 14:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by Azul 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course what he is doing isn't right, however he isn't a true grown up in my opinion....he is still a teenager.....dealing with teenagers is always sketchy. I think that when people say wait until you are older to get married it is for a reason....people need time in their lives to experience and live every phase, he needs to live a little more before he settles down is all. Your friend I am sure she probably has done nothing wrong but marry too young.
2007-09-29 14:29:51 · answer #4 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing for both of them is probably to go ahead with this break, even though it sounds like it will be really tough for your friend to go through. Her husband sounds like a he's still a middle school twerp maturity wise, and he might be regretting settling down so soon. I think waiting for him to grow up or ending it is the only thing your friend can do, sad to say.
2007-09-29 14:33:09 · answer #5 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At that age, most people usually aren't mature enough to fully realize the commitment of marriage. It could be that they just made a mistake in getting married, and are bound to split up. That is not necessarily a bad thing, if they are not a good match.
2007-09-29 14:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like for better or worse does not apply here. Maybe niether is ready to be married. Then again if its fate it will work it`s self out. Not to worry am sure you have your own life to live ,, maybe you should encourage her to go out with you to take her mind off the situation.
2007-09-29 14:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by meatman1559 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definitely needs to get over him. Be next to her, support her, so that she doesn't feel alone. It will take time, and a lot of crying, but eventually someone else will come along. As I see, your friend is very young. Life has just begun for her.
2007-09-29 14:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to be married to her and feels trapped. Tell her not to get her hopes up about it working out, prepare for a divorce (save some $). He obviously is looking for a way out.
2007-09-29 14:29:20 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Way to young to be tied down and now that the honeymoon has ended he is freaking about the rest of his life part.
How did things become so complicated so fast.
2007-09-29 14:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by ULTRA150 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋