I don't know what to do!!!!?

Question

I have been married for 3 years and with husband for 11 years.
He always leaves and then comes back. Well about a year ago he left for a younger girl she was only 18 ( he is 29). Well he lives back home with me now. He says that want to make thing right, So here is the problem he sometimes comes home late from work and say he was the only one there to close or he stopped for a soda. Well then tonight he said that an old friend he has not seen in 10 years wanted to hang out and get a drink. When i tried to call him he did not answer and he has been gone for 3 hours and i have caught him lying before. So what am i suppose to do? I think that he is with a chic or this old girlfriend of his. He has gotten so good at lying that i cant tell when he is what do you all think!!!

i have meet his friend before. The messed up thing is he thinks that because he is in his work uniform and has not showered in 2 day ewwww!!! that i should not be worried. WTF ever when has that ever stopped anyone from doing it.

i take him back b/c i love him and we have 3 kids together.

Answer 1

Dump his sorry @ss.

he's having fun and you're sitting at home worrying...

He's not worth it. he's lied before he'll continue to lie.

Answer 2

Hey,

First, I'm really sorry you have to go through that BS. You really shouldn't be treated that way. It really has to be the worst feeling ever. For some reason, some people think it's ok to be with two people at the same time. I'm sure he loves and cares about you, but really, where is the respect if he's cheating on you? Where can the relationship go if there is no trust? Past behavior is a huge indicator of future behavior....and what's his past behavior tell you? Stopped for a soda? How long does that take? 3 minutes max. A friend he hasn't seen in 10 years wants to hang out? Who? Obviously if he hasn't seen him in 10 years how did they exchange numbers or emails? Doesn't sound like he's a good liar. And plus, he didn't answer his phone when they were supposedly together. Do you really want to spend years and years always wondering what he's doing behind your back? When the right person for you comes along you know you can trust them and don't have to wonder what they're doing behind your back. I'm sure you have VERY strong feelings for him, but I think we both know you not only deserve better, but you should leave him. I know you probably won't, but really, you can do way better than someone who treats you like that. If he respected he would have never cheated on you. And if I met up with a friend from years ago, I would bring my girlfriend with to meet him. Don't you think if they've been longterm friends the guy would be interested in meeting the wife? I mean honestly, lies lies lies lies lies lies lies. That's all they are. He wants stupid excitement in his life and wants adventure and danger. You don't deserve to be treated like that. I hope you realize sooner than later that there's someone way better out there for you, and that you can get over this prick. Sure he's a nice guy, but GOD, why would he do that to you? Find someonelse who REALLY cares about you, you're still young.

Answer 3

It sounds fishy because of his past. If he wants to be with you he has to kiss some *ss to get back in good. I mean checking in when ever you want him to and always being available. If that's what he has to do to gain your trust so be it. He has a shady past and hasn't been back long enough for him to be pulling stunts like this. Maybe you can confront him but not in an arguementive way but just ask him if the tables were turned what would he think? Then, let him know how things are going to go from now on if he wants to be with you. It sounds like either he's playing games or just doesn't care about gaining your trust back. Good Luck!

Answer 4

What I think is that he leaves and does his thing and when he has nothing better to do he comes home. You can't put any demands on him because he will just leave again. You are the one who is giving him permission to do this by allowing him back. I understand that with kids involved its harder but then who supports the kids when hes gone. Your not doing your children any favors. You need to accept the fact that once a cheater always a cheater. You and your children deserve better. Tell him to go asap and start concentrating on something worthwhile, you and your childrens future.

Answer 5

Liars will always be liars.

My momma always said. Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get.

My daddy said. If He did It Once . He will do it again.

My point is. There are approximately 6Billion people on the planet. And you are sweating 1 guy? Come on . you should have dumped him from the start. Thats what anyone with self respect would have done.

I am sure you just need someone to make your realize that you respect yourself.

Do what you have to do.

Answer 6

A marriage is dependent on trust and honesty to one another. If you feel that he is being dishonest and he has a RAP SHEET of being dishonest, then I suggest it's time to let it go. You have the control here because he left you that year ago, and he definitely needs to make up all of that suffering you went through. He needs to work TWICE as hard to make the marriage work.

So if you have already sat him down and talked to him about this, and he STILL continues to behave in a dishonest manner, then no matter how hard it is, you need to let him go. Trust me on the fact that it gets easier with time to get over a breakup--so don't let the thought of being alone influence your decision. Base your decision instead on his actions alone. And make sure you tell him straight out what you think about all this beating around the bush!

Good luck~

Answer 7

why are you asking us what you already know- i mean unless you are a complete fool, you already know what to do. he's humiliating you and has the best of both worlds. what do you do? you LET HIM! why wouldn't he crap on you if you let him? why do you think this is a marriage? why do you think you're in love with him or that it could possibly work between you? it can't! you'll never trust him, even if you think you will. none of the people who answer your question can help you. you can help you by getting the hell outa there! quit letting this idiot make a fool of you? get therapy! your self esteem and self worth is way, way too low. if it wasn't and you had respect for yourself you wouldn't allow yourself to be the second best or what someone settles for until something "better" comes along. get a clue hunny! get away from that scum bag before you've totally lost yourself. there IS someone else. i hope you know that. there IS! just get away from that piece of crap you're with now. he doesn't love you.

Answer 8

A man who doesn't come home at scheduled times and has more time out with excuses is not someone to trust. You are well to think he is not being honest. You probably already know the answer to your question. Toss him. He doesn't care to be an adult man with responsiblities and respect for his wife. Ask yourself how many years you want to ask this same question because he isn't going to change. It would be better for you to move on and save yourself the grief.

Answer 9

Some men are such dogs. 1st of all my theory on relationships is this: DO NOT DO RERUNS!!!!! what ever the reason is for it ending, will probably be the same reason next time it ends with the same person. If you are wondering. Follow him. Do not tell him, just do it, look at his cell phone, be a private detective and see what you can see. Life is to short to just sit there and see what happens. Good luck !!

Answer 10

You should leave him alone. This is not appropriate behavior during marriage. He can't come in and out when he pleases. And there is no reason...ABSOLUTELY no reason he shouldn't answer his phone. has to be with a chic. YOU ARE HIS WIFE!! Maybe you shouldn't explain this to him and tell him if he can't be what you need that you are just gonna move on. Better to be alone then be cheated on.

Answer 11

He clearly has a track record of lying and cheating. So, I wouldn't trust him now. He is probably doing both - lying AND cheating. I would leave him. He is obviously not doing right by you, and doesn't deserve your trust and commitment. Move on. There are better men out there.