What should i do?

Question

Not the right question i know but insight, thoughts etc would be great. In high school and college i would have considered myself lesbian, Now i don't know. I was in love with one of my friends for like 10 years though we never dated. I always thought she and i would never be. then I fell in love with a man and got married, but i still feel those same feelings for her. i feel like i love them both equally and now she tells me that she is in love with me and has been for years. im sooo confused!

Answer 1

Ok, I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life, but I will tell you what I belive I would do in these circumstances.

First, I'd ask myself the following questions:

-If I have the chance of a relationship with my friend, would I rather spend my life with her than my husband? (If yes: 1 point for friend, if no: 1 point for husband)

-If she turnes out to be something else than what I thought she is, would I go back to my husband? (If yes: 1 point for husband, if no: 1 point for friend)

-Can I see my self in a serious relationship with my friend? (If yes: 1 point for friend, if no: 1 point for husband)

-Can I see myself raising kids with my friend? (If yes: 1 point for friend, if no: 1 point for husband)

-Do I belive, in the long run, that me and my friend stand a chance in being happier than I am with my husband? (If yes, 2 points for friend, if no: 1 point for husband)

-If friend does not work out, do you think another woman could make you doubt your marriage again? (If yes: 1 point for friend, if no: 2 points for husband)

-When you lay in bed at night, looking at your husband, do you wish it was your friend instead? (If yes, 5 points for friend, if no: 3 points for husband)

...The one with more points wins.

It doesn't matter if you have kids or not. The worst thing any parent can do to his or her kid is "staying together because of the children". It's better to be raised by a single parent than by parents who don't love each other to the end of the world. Trust me - I know.

You really have to imagine yourself with your friend, in order to realise if it could make you happy or not. If she makes you think you should leave your husband, maybe you should, even if you don't get together with your friend. Look out for number one - make sure you're happy, and try to hurt others as little as you can on the way. But don't think that means you should hurt yourself in order to make others happy.

Good luck sweety.

Answer 2

Wow. This one is hard. My belief is when it comes to love, the only thing you can do is follow your heart. You really have to take a long look at each situation and see what you would be happier with. Not to sound too insensitive, you might be better off flipping a coin over the issue. If you really love both of them and they both love you back equally, you can't lose. You should feel very lucky to have found two people that love you like that. Most people spend their whole lives looking for just one. Good luck.

Answer 3

If you really want a screwed up, depressed life, go for the fantasy. You already know what you have in your loving husband. Did it ever occur to you that the "friend" may be on the rebound from a failed relationship and is out trolling for alliGAYtors again?

What should you do? Tell the female to take a hike and end the relationship before you end up suicidal.

Answer 4

you are confused because you rely on your own. Go to the Great Counselor and Great Holy LORD GOD! Ask Him to show you the way and give you wisdom, James 1:5. Amen.

Truly, that's our main problem on this corrupted world, we often do our own thing, not giving our problem to the Omnipotent God and Lord Jesus we have.

To me, i have proven the Greatness and Awesomeness of God even Lord Jesus, in my workplace, doing things that impossible to do, but by asking God for guidance, help and wisdom, all the things that seems so impossible is just like a casual work and easy. And surely and truly, all things we can do with Lord Jesus within us, Philippians 4:13. Amen.

Answer 5

Bisexual or not, just keep in mind that cheating is a bad thing. If you do love your husband it's a matter of respect - and love. Say, how would you feel if your husband cheated on you with another guy? Or a girl even? I thought so... That would be a problem, wouldn't it?

Answer 6

There are a LOT of us straight women out there who would give ANYTHING to have a husband who loves us. But how CAN we, when they are all turning queer these days??! Straight men have become an endangered species. Be grateful for what you've got, and don't jeopardize it or take your man for granted. If you do, I'm sure there are hundreds of other women who would love to have him! If you give up what you have to pursue gay "lifestyle", I'm sure you'll regret it once the novelty wears off.

Answer 7

Looks like you've got yourself in a bit of a mess yeah? And it also looks like you have soem serious thinking to do. You were in love with her yes? But, were you in a relationship with her? Because if you throw away your marriage for someone, and then realize it was never meant to be a romantic relationship, wha next? My advice, follow your heart. Be with the one that makes you happy and secure.

Answer 8

Ay!

Have you thought about talking to a therapist? Keep it a secret if you want, but they really can help.

It is my belief that you should tell your husband about her and explain that you love him as much, but you are confused. But, ultimately, it is your decision:

Go into your living room, while alone, sit on the couch and get centered (mentally) and then listen to your gut.

Answer 9

You may want to consider what you feel in your heart and who you want to share your whole complete life with. What makes you happy and feel good? Not who or sometimes but always.
Good Luck and don't allow society to weigh in on your decision.

Answer 10

Read the book Curious Wine by Kathleen Forrest. This will help answer your question.