I am a hardworking mother of 3 children and at least I think a happy and stable marriage. The problem is my husband seems to want sex all the time and even though I want to consider his feelings and his needs I'm never in the mood for him. I even heard him tell his friend he think I'm cheating is this normal? Am I really selfish?
2007-09-29 13:25:04 · 25 answers · asked by LiLAnGeL 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, its your body. Don't have make love to your husband if you don't want to. That could put a strain on your relationship. The best thing to do, is dicuss your feelings with him, maybe there is an unknown issue that needs to be resolved. Also, a Sex therapist is an option. YOUR NOT SELFISH either. Making Love/Sex doesn't make a realtionship! Love does. Also, don't stress about it, it will make the situtation more tense.
Good Luck!
2007-09-29 14:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Inconsiderate Wife
2017-01-11 08:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you are selfish. A woman's body and mind is different from a man. Especially that you have so many responsibilities, you have had children, probably have a load of work to do at home with your little ones and your home. It's no easy, my friend! An understanding man will not first of all overburden the wife at home. For example, he will see her load is heavy and will try to help out with home chores, so she will not feel so overburdened. That of course will make her more recipient for sex because she knows her husband is thinking of her considerately. He's not just demanding sex, but recognizing her as a human being with faults and frailties, and he won't be afraid to help her. Maybe you can approach him with these concerns in a loving and calm way, and he will be able to undestand that you are not a sex machine and you are not as young as "hot" as you used to. Some people think that after yrs of marriage the couple will still be having sex all the time, but they fail to see that with marriage come other responsibilities, and stress, etc. I wish you all the happiness, my friend!
2007-09-29 13:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by Bluemoon 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well your having sex sometime...you have 3 kids. The harsh reality is that is why men cheat, some whore out there that isn't hardworking or that has kids but could care less about them, will come along and have sex with him all the time he wants....of course until he marries her then it's the same deal. Not trying to sound mean, but 60 seconds(or less) three or four times a week can save a marriage.
2007-09-29 13:47:15 · answer #4 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dear Pr3tt:
Your husband needs to give you a break, c'mon, you work, you cook, yu are a mother, it is so hard to be in the mood when you are that strees out and tired...what you have to do is talk to your husband and tell him you have way too much on your plate. In order for anyone to be "in the mood" for sex at least we women have to be relax and not as tired!! Believe me even I don't get in the mood for sex and I don't have kids, and I am in my 20ths!! I work soo much and sometime go to bed too late and wake up too early that when my husband wants sex...I am just too tired!! but you know what? I NEVER let my husband go to be horny!! even when you are tired you should try to take care of him so he goes to bed "happy" and you didn'd have to do alot of work. If you want to have a happy husband feed him good and give him sex...it is obvious that your husband has more time in his hands than you therefore he is not as tired...give some more responsabilities!!! don't take al the tasks of the home, children, and work all to your self!! you are overworking yourself when you have a husband that could be helping you more. If he helps you more with the responsabilities of your everyday life, he will be also tired and you will have more energy to "take care of him" hope this helps.
2007-09-29 13:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No but you need to find a happy medium. Give it up even if you are not in the mood, but he needs to relize that he may be getting over active. Depends what all the time means. To some woman once a week is too much. I think that 2 to 3 time a week is good, so does my guy. Talk about it and comp. that is what a relationship is. But he shouldn't accuse you of cheating that causes a new problem.
2007-09-29 13:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by openminded 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As a male in the same situation as your husband is in, I would say that you are not selfish.
But you need to act. You need to figure out what it would take to get you in the mood more often, and talk to him about it.
Do you need to have set dates, without the kids? Do you need to get away on weekends? Do you need help around the house? And so on....
Tell him you want sex too, but you need something else... that is, after you figure out what it is.
2007-09-29 16:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by milliondollarman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way - if you're not interested in sex with him, would you mind if he was unfaithful to you? Don't you think it's a little unreasonable to expect him to be faithful to just so you can tacitly reject him? You need to take ownership of this problem. Women tend to say they just don't feel like sex then they want to let it go. You married this guy and expect his fidelity. A sex drive is a normal human need and, if you expect his fidelity, you need to be there for him. If you don't feel like it, it's incumbent on you to find out the underlying reason and fix it. No two people will ever have identical sex drives but copping out with "I'm never in the mood for him" is just wrong. If you discovered he was cheating on you then you would probably tell everyone what a bad man he his. Take responsibility for your actions before you become another statistic.
2007-09-29 14:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by Tim B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did he tell you that? You have three children. I can't imagine why sex would be put on the back burner. Tell the loud mouth that he needs to help you more with the kids and around the house. If he takes some of the workload off maybe you could feel in the mood...
2007-09-29 13:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by mamapoulette 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Of course you are. All but one of the women who answered are not anywhere near correct. If you can't satisfy your hubby, tell him to go find it somewhere, or hook him up with one of your single coworkers. You plainly stated the truth in your second sentence. "The PROBLEM is my husband wants sex (with me), and I'm NEVER in the mood for him. "but I think I have a happy and stable marriage." WTF??????????????
No you don't. You probably can't hear the tick-tock of the cheating clock, but I can almost guarantee you that is where things are headed. If you want speed things up, listen to what all the women answered.
JC, you've had three children, and your husband still wants to get it on with you? What an unlucky SOB he is.
2007-09-29 20:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋