I shouldn't listen to what others say but the other day this cabbie said woman's "main" role was to make babies. I wanted to smash his face in. I do want to get married (again) but I want to spend that time with my husabnd & not have to share it. I want us to have fun & travel to places some of which are not meant for kids. I have also seen how hard it is on single or married moms I do know also. Maybe it's a good thing I realize I wouldn't be a good mom before having kids?
Also I suffer from a borderline personality disorder & it can be hereditary & I wouldn't want a child of mine to suffer 1/2 what I have.
2007-09-29 13:17:36 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am the same way. It's called being ChildFree.
There is nothing wrong with you. 1/4th of women in the Western World are making the same choice you are.
If you don't want children, it is best for you not to have them. If you have them, you will be unhappy, and by proxy, you will make your child unhappy. That's not fair to anyone.
Enjoy your life as you please. There is nothing wrong with you, and your "role" in life is not to be a mother. Your role in life is to be yourself.
2007-09-29 13:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong withyou not wanting to have kids, or getting married some day, you cant say that you wont be a good mom we all learn how to become parents kids dont come with a set of books, If you have a borderline personality disorder doesnt mean your child would have it.
you are not the creature and he does not put more on us than we can bear always remember that.
best of luck
2007-09-29 21:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually a woman's main role (even those who are bible thumpers can't deny it), is to help the man. Eve was created to be a helpmate and companion to Adam. She didn't get the "ability" to bear children until after they were expelled from the Garden. So the cabbie was an idiot and he was wrong. don't let people like that get to you. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children for ANY reason. It is YOUR life and you have to do what is best for YOU and no one else.
2007-09-30 01:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. The idea that women's role is strictly to be a baby factory is archaic. If you don't want to have children,don't. There is no shame in not wanting to be a parent, especially if you are concerned about passing along hereditary problems.
2007-09-29 20:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Certainly as human beings a main part of all of our existences is to evolve spirtually and grow emotionally. For most of us this will involve transitioning into a parental role at some point in our lives. In a world already so over-populated, that fact that this will not be the case for some should not be much of a concern for anyone.
I will say that one thing I've noticed about women who claim not to want children ever is that they tend to have low self-esteem and come from dysfunctional family backgrounds. Someone who had an up-bringing full of joy and happiness will tend to have a strong desire to create a similar environment with their spouse and off-spring.
Honestly I have to say in general your whole post comes across as rather immature and selfish. But those certainly are not good motherly traits, so maybe you make a valid point.
2007-09-29 20:36:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
it's your personal choice and as long as your future husband understands that you don't want children and that's not going to be an issue than there's really no problem. you do need to be honest with any man you get involved with though so they don't think you're the perfect woman then find out you'll never have his children.
I am only 20- I don't know if I even want children. I think I do but I'm also sick of people saying "you're the last one in our group to have children" or "when?" you know...that's my business and it gets annoying fast.
I am not going to have children just to make someone else happy and you don't have to either.
2007-09-29 20:22:52 · answer #6 · answered by Music 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think not wanting kids especially with the population booming the way it is, is actually a really smart thing! I have been with my fiance for six years and we both have decided on having four legged children (pets) rather than real children. I want to travel and still have fun...in fact I have a sister in law and mother in law to be that are really pushy and they claim that he and I are "selfish"...wouldnt it be selfish of he and I to have children and actually resent them? I think that your choice is logical and very thought out. And like you said....If you realize you wouldnt be a good mother....(just like me!) then you are definetly saving problems for a potential child! Good luck sister!
2007-09-29 20:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by saycheese 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't have kids right now,, but when you meet the one and only,,,WHICH you will trust me,, you will change your mind. I never wanted kids, i used protection and so did he,guess what, 2 kids later. I wouldn't give a million for either one of them.. and you also know,, i am a grandmother (43 yrs old) of 2 fabulous grand kids (one 3 and a half baby girl and one grandson 4 months) Kids are not as bad as people make them out to be,,, it is who is doing the raising.
2007-09-29 20:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I agree with everyone else who said that it is perfectly fine to not want kids.
All of our friends have children and keep asking me when we are going to have kids. We don't plan to have children so it is really frustrating when people expect that you should. I try really hard not to let it get to me but sometimes it does.
Just remember not to let other dictate the decisions you make in life!!
2007-09-29 20:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not wrong to not want kids. It is wrong to bring children into this world who aren't wanted. The cabbie who said that to you is an idiot and should be ignored.
I have never wanted children and I don't have any. It is the right choice for me.
2007-09-29 20:24:47 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋