I'm having a hard time with this. My husband and children hate each other. None of them has any respect for the others. My children, whom I love dearly, but can be very disrespectful much of the time, want me to divorce my husband because he's mean to them (said children are 17 and 19). I love my husband and don't want to divorce him, but if I don't I may lose my children forever. I see this as a King Solomon like decision. I have come up with two different plans: first, just disappear and not let any of them know where I am or, second, end the feud by ending my life. I would prefer insight from others on this site. If you feel you MUST insult me, go somewhere else.
2007-09-29 11:32:38 · 13 answers · asked by *{luna}* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry, but gotta insult you. You ARE being silly. You are accepting way too much blame and responsibility for other people failing to behave reasonably. Where you are wrong is to even think about divorcing the man you love. Wronger still to think about suicide. He'd blame himself forever, which would be a lousy thing to do to the man you love. Lots of kids 16-21 hate their parents. I'd bet you said it yourself, when you were that age, or at least thought it. Your kids aren't kids anymore, and one way or another, you will lose them. They won't be kids anymore. And, Ill bet they'll be your friends then. You've darn near finished with basic child raising, don't blow it now.LOL You and your husband will soon be able to watch TV in your underwear, and get to know each other again. And to do the things you haven't been able to do while raising kids. Rest up. Theeeennnn, you will go crazy watching those darn kids raise YOUR grandchildren. Lady, it's ALWAYS something, the trick is to keep laughing.
2007-09-29 13:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I've never heard of this happening except in the case of a step-parent, so I'll assume that he is. This IS a decision that will require a lot of wisdom -- so show some, sister. Neither of your suggested choices will solve anything. Seek professional advice ... now! I've been through it from the step-parent's perspective -- bad enough that I was even accused of rape so the law would keep me busy while THEY ran the streets (but it backfired -- the law held them,too)! I must agree w/ many of the other answers given, in that the children will soon be leaving the nest, & (if they have their way ) you'll be left alone. And they don't care about that, they just don't want his authority in their lives now. Their growth, at this point, requires a little "tough love". They're nearly adults, & they need to start acting like it. As for him being "mean" to them -- that's probably just him keeping them from running over you both. STAND BY HIM!
2007-09-29 14:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My goodness get a hold of yourself! Your children are use to getting their way with you. Get a back bone girl. Tell your kids that you love their father and they will just have to deal with it. You said yourself that your kids can be disrespectful much of the time. Sounds to me like your husband has had the nerve to be a Father who feels he needs to teach his children how to grow up and deal with real life. You on the other hand, are letting your kids rule your life instead of teaching them how to live life. This is not a King Solomon decision this is a Mother that needs a back bone.
2007-09-29 11:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God please don't end your life. Someday you will look on this time and realize that ending your life would not have been worth it.
I think you should write a letter to your children and husband telling them that you are going away for awhile and for them to sort out their problems by the time you get back. Then, go on vacation somewhere, just you. Maybe go to the beach or a spa and just unwind and let them figure out a solution; it's their problem, not yours. You shouldn't be in the middle of all of this. Good luck!
2007-09-29 12:47:36 · answer #4 · answered by SL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you have the power to end ALL this madness. you need to put your foot down and tell the KIDS that mommy loves them all and will no longer sit by and allow, or accept this behavior from any you. this will stop today. tell the kids that they may not like your husband but they will respect him if not but for him being your husband, his a grown man, and he is the man that makes you mom happy. and that it would really make you even happier if they grow up and all ask like adults. you are not asking these people to be best friends what you are asking is for them to respect you as their mother and themselves as your children and not be disrespectful to your husband regardless. and you need to tell your husband to grow up and be the adult here. these are kids. they are pretty much grown and he doesnt have to do to much with them so he needs to stop be disrespectful towards them. RESPECT is a two way street. you have to give it to get it. you have to put your foot down. thats the bottom line. and you killing yourself is not the answer. tell them that all this disrespectfulness is making you crazy and that you are thinking about jumping off the bridge just to get some peace. (this is a joke) dont go that far. put everybody out first : ) GodBless
2007-09-29 11:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your kids are about the age that they will be moving out. When they do that, they will be able to keep in contact with you and avoid your husband. Ending your life or disappearing will keep you from both your husband AND your kids, which seems like the opposite of what you really want.
whats your heart saying?
like i said, your kids are of age and will be able to choose how they spend their time. Try to hang out with them without your husband around, let them know you love them with all your heart, but you love him too and dont want to be alone esp. since they are growing up now.
2007-09-29 11:38:32 · answer #6 · answered by supernelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
christian counseling may be the answer to it. why give up your husband or your children? believe me u won't loose your children forever. if your children are disrespectful u need to correct that. your kids will grow up and leave home and have their own lives, if u get a divorce u may end up alone. don't allow kids to run the household, but don't allow husband to be abusive to kids either.
2007-09-29 12:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need to make any decisions. You need to need to seek counseling/psychiatric help ASAP. There is a better way, but it sounds like your way to stressed to see all of your possibilities. Get counseling for YOURSELF first. Get into Family Counseling as soon as you can. The rest of your family can't continue on like this either. There are a lot of people in your situation-you're not alone.
2007-09-29 12:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by lapatatedouce 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is not easy and simple because we are human. God gives life and only He can take it! So that leaves you with your last option...., but is it the best for everybody? Think about YOU! and what YOU WANT! You decide for yourself and only you could do it. Your childrens life are ahead of them, yours is maybe half gone...., make the best of what is left.
2007-09-29 11:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by johann_777 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could see a counseler instead of ending your life. You don't have to take drastic measures to sort this stuff out. My dad and brother fight all the time, but it's usually just cuz during puberty kids try to declare their independance and see how far they can go. You could try talking to them also. Or use logic to sort it out.
2007-09-29 11:37:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋