Teenage Pregnancy?!?

Question

i just found out that,
my older brother who is 17 and in twelfth grade and his girlfriend who is the same age,
are expecting their first baby sometime in feburary.

when i first found out i could not believe it,
is it really terrible that i see this as a horrible life-ending thing?

i know i should be supportive,
but i just feel like he's throwing his life away.

my parents know,
but i'm scared of what everyone in my small town will say/ how they will react.


any advice?

thanks,
the resposes have been really overwhelming, and it helps to hear from people who have been in my situation.

to YRUaskn4me:
thanks for being understanding. her parents are taking it... not well, but not terrible either. they are willing to support her financially but i'm not too sure where they stand emotionally or mentally.

to j_andrews8081:
while i respect your point of few,
i didn't find your response very appropriate,
it seemed very judgemental.
i know that everyone's supposed to be able to say whatever they want in these questions, but i think it's important to kind in mind the feelings of others.



to everyone else:
thanks for the support!

Answer 1

WOW. I agree, it's not wonderful... but that's selfish of you to say YOU see it as a life ending thing...IMAGINE HOW YOUR BROTHER FEELS!!!!! It's not the end of the world, sometimes stuff like this happens, your brother and his girlfriend both have people who are supportive (i'm guessing both parents are) and that's enough to help them out. they can still continue on with school and future goals. The only downside is when your brother's friends all go off to parties and stuff, he will not be able too. Most guys in your brothers situation would leave there girlfriend, i would say he's already doing the right thing by actually being there for her and telling his parents. he needs support, and you need to give it to him. he is probably soo afraid right now!! He's gonna be a dad, that has never even crossed his mind! I hope everything works out for him. best of luck!

Answer 2

Wow, this one is a hard one to answer, but I will do my best. All that you can really do is keep your chin up, and don't let other people that live in your town get to you. I know that's hard, but you have to be strong, not only for yourself, but for your family. I can understand where you are coming from. When I was in high school, by the time that I was a senior, 98% of the girls were either pregnant or already had kids. Sadly to say, a lot of them were divorced within a couple of years and had 1-3 kids to support as young mothers. Are they throwing their lives away? Possibly. Everyone reacts differently. With some people, they actually need kids to help them grow up emotionally, while for others it can be devestating, because instead of college and other things right away, it means always putting the baby first. Do I think your terrible for feeling the way that you do? No, I think that you are someone who has your family's best interests at heart, but again, that's me. I hope that it works out for all of you. How is her family handling the news?

Answer 3

You have your head screwed on right, sweetie. They should have been more careful. And yes, this is going to affect the rest of their lives. In the short term, it's going to affect their educations and their abilities to make money.

It's a common enough occurrence that I don't think there will be too much gossip.

You must be supportive. They need you now.

Do they realize your feelings? Sit them down. Tell them you think it was really dumb what they did. But since you love both of them, and you will love their baby, you will help any way you can.

It isn't a life-ending thing, but it is a childhood-ending thing. All the sudden these kids who are still in school, have to grow up and figure out how to raise another little person with their limited knowledge and experience. Welcome to parenthood.

Keep your chin up, enjoy the various stages they go through, offer to help if you can (but don't let them rely on you all the time) and do the RIGHT thing with YOUR life. Don't be careless. If you have a relationship, protect yourself.

Take care,

TX Mom

P.S. I have a 17 yo son and we had this discussion just last week. What would you do? Would you allow her to raise your child? Would you sue for custody? Would you marry her?

His answer to every question: abstinence. Wish I could depend on that.

Answer 4

No. Its not terrible. it's a new life...have you even considered that to this point? I think you should thank God that He would send a new baby to your family...and maybe you should consider that nothing as beautiful as a baby could be a mistake...Im sorry if I seem harsh, but it personally hurts me to believe that anyone could call a precious thing like a baby a "horrible, life ending thing". The simple fact that you called pregancy, or baby, dependant on how you meant that a "thing"....it lets me know that you havent considered all the people in the world that beg and pray for children, and are never blessed with their own. It is possible, and WITH FAMILY SUPPORT it could be a lot less stress and a lot more love...Seems like your biggest concern may be the way people will view you and your family. My advice to you would be to reconsider the way you view the blessings in your life and be a big enough person to not ruin this for him. Other advice would be to NEVER open your mouth and say any of that to that poor sensitve girl who probably already feels like a failure to everyone she loves.

Answer 5

Well it is definitely life changing for your brother and his girlfriend but certainly not life ending. They will have to grow up and give up some of the things they used to do when they become parents.

However being a parent is one of life's greatest joys. Being an aunt is pretty cool too. When the baby comes you may find that you love him/her to pieces.

Oh and who cares what small town gossips have to say. It is your family not theirs and I predict this new baby will be someone special.

Good luck and enjoy the new neice or nephew

Answer 6

I was pregnant at 16, with twins. The last thing I needed was for my family to turn against me, I needed their support. Instead, i was thrown out of the house. It's hard enough for them. It's not up to you to say he's throwing his life away. And who cares what the town thinks! Advice? Yes. support him , there is a new little life on the way, and ,you're going to fall in love with this new baby.

Answer 7

Not trying to be rude here, but I really think you should mind your own business. If you have a bad attitude about it then you could totally end up losing your brother over it, as it's his life and his choice. Why are you afraid of what people will think? Why do you even care so much when they're practically adults now anyway?

Answer 8

Sounds like a bunch of close-minded people live in your town. I was 16 when I first got pregnant with my son, 17 when I had him (unplanned) and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am now 19 pregnant with my second (planned) and I will be 20 when I have her. Kids are the greatest. They will make you grow up and grow up fast.

Answer 9

He isn't ending his life, I was 17 when I got pregnant. He just has to get priorties straight. Im now 20 and going to have my 3rd baby. I got married and grew up. I went to school for being a vet tech. if you set your mind to something you can get a lot done. We have our own house, 2 cars. Even if things don't work out right away they will. Even if you think he is ending his life you still need to be there for him. I had nobody but my husband behind me. It was hard but my parents came around.

Answer 10

Well I think you should just be supportive because its too late to abort the pregnancy and your brother and his girlfriend have made that decision already. Dont worry what people will think. Thats there job to worry about. Just enjoy being a part of the experience