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I am a 20 year old woman and it seems that now-a-days guys expect a girl to be sexually involved once they are in a relationship. It's just not for me. I realized that guys these days don't tend to respect the girls they go out with if they are sexually involved which I think its truly messed up and I'm not trying to fall into that trap. I refused to be used and abused by any guy.

2007-09-29 10:15:22 · 12 answers · asked by . 3 in Arts & Humanities Philosophy

12 answers

Of course not. I 've wondered about this too. But I think this is purely a product of Western sexual liberal attitudes and reflects our irresponsible tendencies to act on what I believe is sort of a atavistic or rather primordial response to the opposite sex. It is natural to desire physical intimacy, it is built into our DNA and we are naturally programmed to do this, but to act on this or to allow one self to succumb to this natural proclivity to procreate (which is after all the reason for sex if you discount the ephemeral pleasure that accompanies it), then everyone would be humping the next good looking man or woman he/she sees on the street... It is restraint, responsibility, maturity, understanding the consequences of one's action that make us good citizens and prevents society from completely sinking into utter chaos. Think Sodom and Gomorrah (though not proven to be historically accurate , it is at least a good metaphor for social decay).

2007-09-29 10:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Shh! Be vewy, vewy quiet 6 · 1 0

You are very intelligent and respect yourself. I don't mean that others who don't do as you do, are not. It's simply that you are very young and yet realize you have choices and you exercise them.
There's nothing wrong with waiting for marriage. By then you would know more and be more responsible. You also will feel very good that you waited.
You don't have to apologize to anyone. You're right in that the idea of sex before marriage is selfish. Sometimes people go along with something they don't even want or understand.

2007-09-29 12:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to be sexually involved in a relationship - I'm 26. At least I know I'm not the only one...

I feel the same way u do

2007-09-29 11:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Chelsea 2 · 0 0

What I don't understand is why does a woman say she is being abused, I always thought woman abused man, why they are the ones who get the more satisfaction right? It is after all a two way street, and the quicker you understand this the better off you will be, Think of it as you USING the guy, and you will have lots more fun and so will see.

2007-09-29 10:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by Roberto 4 · 0 1

Normally I would say, "Yes it's fine, it's your choice". But it sounds as if it is a choice you've made out of fear and cynicism.

Not all guys want to hurt you and use you, and after all, isn't that mostly your own choice?

You need to trust YOURSELF - trust yourself you can handle a mature relationship and deal with the consequences.

If you can't do that, then any marriage you have in the future won't be worth having.

2007-09-29 13:01:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

this can't be answered with a strict yes or no, because none would be completely true. A long relationship without sex might be as problematic as a short one with immediate sex involved. So, it all depends on the level of emotional closeness you two have created, but emotional and physical are interconnected...

2007-09-29 12:22:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Nothing wrong with that. Keep a hold on what you got! I believe that the right kind of man values it - that would be the kind who values you as a person, and not just as a place to put it. You're very young - keep your standards high and keep looking. Eventually you will find a clean-living man who shares your values and you will know when you feel like giving yourself to him - and you won't be giving him any nasty surprises either!

2007-09-29 12:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa M 2 · 1 0

well, i think nowdays a relationship is defined differently then it was in the past
some as soon as they start dating, or even before, say they are with someone , or going with someone
others, as soon as they are dating, define it as a relationship
i think that once you are dating someone exclusively, and have for a period of time, its fine to have sex,
but if you are just starting to date someone, you are now forming a relationship, and so should perhaps wait
the main thing is to responsibly do as you wish, understanding society's views, the views of the local area you are in, plus health concerns
you shouldnt have sex or not have sex based on what a man thinks, you should do it when you want to, when you feel its right

2007-09-29 11:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0 1

ensure to no longer prefer to be sexually in touch in a dating interior the performing arts. era. there is likewise no longer something incorrect with no longer desirous to be sexually in touch in any dating, in spite of the shown fact which you're basically 0.5 of the dating. you may discover somebody else with an identical desires which you have. while you're searching for an psychological dating, it does no longer require a member of the different intercourse. All you may desire to do is discover somebody you're intellectually nicely matched with and have that dating with them. while you're searching for a dating that includes actual touch besides as mutual admire in spite of the shown fact that, that's plenty greater tricky. the excellent factor could be to look for a member of the different intercourse in venues that would propose that this individual knows mutual admire ans is keen to proceed on an identical point of dedication which you particularly prefer. This includes various verbal replace and frankness from the two human beings. It additionally includes various group relationship, staying faraway from situations that needless to say convey approximately temptation, and not permitting your self to get trapped in situations the place you may sense obligated. this would contain going dutch, spelling out the floor regulations and sticking to them, relationship those that would desire to otherwise look much less exiting to you. (the boring ones would desire to easily be the respectful ones and in accordance to bill Cosby, "the grotesque ones is the intense-high quality ones) It takes 2 to set a catch. The farmer inserts the carrot into the catch, however the rabbit has to love the carrot! in case you refuse for use and abused, stay faraway from charismatic human beings that have found out to apply charm as against admire. i replaced into continuously the secure date, and in spite of the shown fact that i did no longer continuously savour that acceptance each and every of the time, it replaced into well worth it to me whilst i found out that i'd desire to savour the enterprise of varied interesting and captivating those that does no longer otherwise even observe me. between the failings I found out from my dates in spite of the shown fact that, is that so as to be respected, first you may admire your self. while you're keen to try this, and to stay by skill of your man or woman regulations, it is going to likely be extremely demanding for all people to apply or abuse you in any way in any respect!

2016-10-10 00:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by rollman 4 · 0 0

No! It's Wonderful! Way to RESPECT YOU! YOU GO GIRL! (We have 3 daughters)

2007-09-29 10:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Marroll 2 · 0 0

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