does anybody else self criticise all the time? IE go over and over unimportant conversations and analyse them?

Question

please tell me this is normal!

Answer 1

I do more in the past few months so it's normal to me.

Answer 2

It is normal from what I've heard on this forum, but it is not good for you and it is not the Lord's way. It makes you a people pleaser and when you self-criticize, you are saying I am not good enough or I didn't handle that as well as someone else would handle that. Self-rejection turns into self-hatred.

Self-criticism causes guilt which is the results of saying something wrong or that you think what you said was wrong. This results in conflict with yourself which causes fear of further conversations.

Unforgiveness of self, unforgiveness of others, fear, anxiety and stress are the number one causes of autoimmune diseases.

Unimportant conversation is just that and most people don't give you 5 seconds of their thought. Our thoughts are on ourselves and not other people. We remember what we say but the conversation of others is seldom remembered except if it is against us.

I have an axiom for you, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." The only way words can hurt you is if you let them. I live my life choosing not to let the words of other people offend or hurt me. Let me tell you how I do this.

I answer to the Lord. I only worry about what the Lord thinks of me and no one else. If others love me that is fine; if others do not love me that is fine also, but I know God loves me. It is important for me to please God and then everyone else falls in place. God makes sure of it, because God can change hearts and minds.

Go through life pleasing to God and not men. If God is for you, who can be against you. The answer is - nobody!!!

Answer 3

Everyone contains an 'inner critic'. It is the voice that keeps re running conversations and things you did and over analysing them. I suffer from it terribly. It's the on that says 'how did that come across? or did I make fool of myself?' It was pointed out to me by a therapist when I had Post Natal Depresssion. I still do it but now know it's my problem not those I said it to. They have probably forgotten all about it but you still keep churning it over. I know it's horrible but try to believe other people aren't as worried as you about it.

Answer 4

This usually happens when you end up wishing you had said or done something else. You replay the conversation and think about what you wish you HAD said. It is a pointless waste of time! If you had more self confidence you wouldn't do it because you'd be more likely to say what you mean AT THE TIME the conversation happens.

Answer 5

It's quite normal. I can think of conversations I've had twenty years ago and still cringe with embarassment. But it's so silly, because no one else ever remembers what you said..they're far too busy worrying about what they're saying.
Best to put it out of your head and laugh at yourself. It's good to remember sometimes the effect you can have on others, such as a glib comment about someone that sticks with them forever.

Answer 6

I think both Jeancommunicates and Angel have a good point. I self critisize myself 24/7 and right now my mind is so tired of it. Its like an insomnia you can't turn off, and trust me, you're not alone. My husband has given me the best advice and I feel that would be to assure yourself you're worthy of being accepted and trust your own moral judgement to act appropriately at the time. When in doubt, THINK and say nothing at all. Its better to be thought of as quiet than silly :-)

Answer 7

I don't know if it's normal, seem like a lot of people on here, including myself do it, so it must be pretty common, but then again a lot of the people on this site are a little out there if you know what I mean "/ hahaha

Answer 8

Yes I do and I wonder if that person was upset or taken aback by what Ive said. It makes me nervous and I get embarrassed when I think about it to much. Its horrible.

Answer 9

i do it is not normal I am still ruminating over a conversation after 40 years. I am bipolar with an anxiety disorder

Answer 10

Of course its normal, I guess we all do it self consiously! I always seem to do it before I go to sleep it night, its just like remembering your day! I am doing it a bit obsessivly at the moment because I've just started a new school & so am doubly aware of everything I say & what signals I & other people give off. I'm hoping you just grow out of it! :)