Why? ...
Life as always will fade away
Drifting further everyday
I have lost the will to live
I need the end to set me free
To free myself from this cage
To fly to freedom in the endless sky
To free my heart
To free my soul
If only I could find the answer to
Why?
Why live in torture to have the earth as your bed
Why live in torture if you know your end
Why live in earthly hell if you will live it again
Why live a lie which you have prepared
Why live in hope if there wasn’t any
Why live in solitude with no sombre expressions
Why live if everything is worthless
Why live if everything is pointless
Why live in an illusion
Why live in life’s ugly version
Why live to go through all this
Why live…
Why?
2007-09-29 08:48:14 · 5 answers · asked by Princess Penguin 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
i wrote this poem when i was a child, but i modified it as i grew up.
2007-09-29 09:01:58 · update #1
Since you asked what I think, here goes, I hope you really wanted to know.
I think you have written something here that is very nice.
I think the sentiment is good and the questions of why poignant.
I also think its lousy as poetry
Put it in paragraph form and punctuate it, it's a great essay.
Poetry has rhythm, it has flow, a cadence if you will. This was off to a good start, but you lost it after 6 lines, although the rhythm in the first 6 was a little shakey. From there on it is simply one large run-on sentence of pretty, well meaning words. I know people get tired of hearing it, but poetry is not about putting pretty words on paper, it's about putting words on paper prettily. Try reading it aloud to get the full impact, it really shows.
2007-09-29 09:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dondi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wrote something like this a few months back that was not well recieved, it was titled "I am" and it used this same outline but it really didn't work that well so I gave up on it. Maybe i'll dig it up and try to rewrite it.,
2007-09-29 16:07:24 · answer #2 · answered by The Dark Prince 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Kinda scary. Sounds like someone who wants to kill themself wrote that which I hope is not the case.
2007-09-29 15:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by kiki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a shrink
2007-09-29 15:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.....Fantastic....Why :P?
2007-09-29 15:52:36 · answer #5 · answered by A7mad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋