The ex knows about the fiance and is trying to get my friend back from him. The fiance is a very nice man who recently lost his wife. He is spending tons of money on my friend (travel, jewelry, paying all her bills). The ex has no money and they divorced because of his cheating on her during 25 years of marriage. She can't decide who to choose and is shopping for houses with both. I feel really bad for the fiance and wonder if I should tell him what is going on?
My husband passed away 5 1/2 years ago after 40 yrs. of marriage. I am starting to finally want to be with someone again and wouldn't mind dating the fiance myself. By the way, we are all in our 60's.
2007-09-29 08:43:42 · 13 answers · asked by mariposapink 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ma'am, I'm only 24 years old, but reading your post for people who can be my grandparents experiencing the same trials and tribulations in relationships is quite discouraging. When do people grow up?!
Regardless, question at hand is should you tell him what is going on. I think you should not only tell him what is going on but tell him you like him enough to respect him and treat him like he deserves to be treated, but will understand if his heart is with your friend. Everyone may resent you for being the honest one in this mess, amazing how you can be the only sane one who wants to do the right thing, but everyone gets angry with you for wanting to make things fair across the board.
You all are in your 60s. If you all were in your 20s, 30s,and 40s even, most of the answers probably would have been mind your business. I'm in my 20s and I know I would have told him already that she was cheating, but not that I wanted him because that is a NO GO rule in my youthful book, however, as we age, that rule apparently can change.
Life is too short as all of you have experienced in the love, life and death game. Speak your heart. Tell this man what you know and how you feel. Be prepared for either good or bad lash back responses from all parties involved because you are dealing with emotions.
But why am I telling you this? You already know, we all are just reminding you and giving you the strength to do what is right. Good luck, ma'am!
2007-09-29 09:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥JDub♥♥ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she's already "decided" on her ex for everything except for the financial part of the relationship; thats where the fiance comes in. She sounds very deceitful and selfish and should let the fiance go; she's only with him for the $.
I don't think you should be the one to tell the fiance about it, but tell your friend to be honest with him and break the engagement. She should get rid of the ex - shes been there done that + knows what to expect with him (cheating etc). She has to get a life of her own. You should stay clear of the fiance even when they split, at least for the time being. He'll be heartbroken + needs time to heal.
2007-09-29 09:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Azul 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that your friend shouldn't have accepted the proposal if she was going to sneak behind his back with her ex. u should tell her fiance because he shouldn't be wasting his money. your friend might get mad at u, but at least your doing the right thing. the fiance sounds like a good person, and i'm sorry about your husband. i hope things work out.
2007-09-29 08:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kendall.Culllen~♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the same old, same old. He didnt want her but now he doesnt want anybody else to have her. Ex's are ex's for a reason. I am positive that if she wasnt seeing someone he wouldnt want anything to do with her. Tell your friend to keep the past in the past and look forward to a better future. Close the door and never look back.
2007-09-29 08:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by Toni M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all sounded solid til you said you want to date him. thats just way out there, what your friend does is as well, but this is just crazy. you would date a man that would have been engaged to your friend and obviously loves her? and your friend uses this poor guy. the only one i feel bad for is this man, it seems he got caught in the wrong crowd of people.
2007-09-29 08:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by not this way 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend she's being unfair to both men. She needs to make a decision and quickly. Tell her if she doesn't, you'll make it for her and go to the fiance.
2007-09-29 08:56:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES TELL HIM. He will be upset for acting like a fool but tell him before he spends all his money and you probably need better friends but she sounds like almost every woman I have ever met.
2007-09-29 09:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by notagain49 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough situation. But it seems like you have alterior motives. Girl/Woman code says you never get with a guy one of your friends is connected to.
I personally, would stay out of it. Let them work it out.
2007-09-29 08:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you go girl!!!
I think you should talk to your friend and let me know how wrong it is. and if she is only using the fiancee, she should stay with her ex hubby. cause obviously his cheating ways rubbed on to her. the fiance doesnt deserve to be misled and cheated on.
if talking to her doesnt work, talk to the guy and let him know. and let him know you will be there for him..
*wink, wink*
2007-09-29 08:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. Your friend obviously doesnt care about him anyway.
Good Luck
2007-09-29 08:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋