I am 24 yrs old(teacher) and have been married to my husband who is 33 yrs old(airforce) about 2.5 yrs now finally divorcing.I have a daughter who is 4 yrs old from a previous relationship with an ex.bf and my husband has a 14 yr old son from from a previous marriage his moms in jail for drugs.My step-son has posters with nazi symbols and hate messages about blacks,jews,mexican(wet backs)and gays and keeps getting into fights at school with black kids.My daughter had a pet hamster that my step son killed to make her cry and on another occasion he put my daughter in the dogs cage.He sneaks out and cuts school.His father is in Germany but when he's home he only defends his son saying its a phase and blaims me or anyone else for any problem.I have tried everything even therapy.My step son has shoved me to the ground and choked me yet his dads family refused to allow police involvment saying they would back my stepson.Last straw was when ...
2007-09-29 05:31:31 · 23 answers · asked by Jaclyn B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My step-son came home drunk with 3 friends and through a brick through the window then proceeded to go on a rampage breaking things throughout the house.Our alarm went off i freaked when i saw it was him it cause a screaming match and when police came he had me cornered with a busted lip.Since i am divorcing his father who says his son just has special tempermant issues and dont want more problems do i drop this?
2007-09-29 05:36:56 · update #1
Police reported it and he was arrested and put in jail but his grandmother bailed him out.I'm not sure if it even worth pressing charges
2007-09-29 05:52:49 · update #2
If you are willing to press charges and go all the way with it, then that is what you should do, the boy and his father and family needs to understand you can not allow that.
If you are not willing to push it all the way then don't start the charges, as it will cause you to lose face and any respect at all if you drop the charges once you have started it.
2007-09-29 06:17:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear God in Heaven! This boy is totally out of control and it didn't just happen overnite..He definitely has major issues not only in behavior, but mental. If his Dad and family refuse to see this, they must be blind or afraid of him too. At all costs, you must protect you and your daughter from this 14 years old who sounds like he is capable of anything. You said "now divorcing" so I assume you are filing for divorce or have.. That's the best thing under these circumstances..I would not bother trying to press charges against the boy, since he is only 14 and not much will be done anyhow. Just get you and your daughter as far away as possible from him and the entire family..Let Dad's family take him and deal with it. He needs serious treatment and I can only pray those relatives of his wake up and get it for him before he maybe kills somebody! You have to get out of this situation now! Run don't walk.. You can't handle this boy and you need to protect yourself and child..Drop him off at grandparents and make sure you have nothing more to do with him. Move in with family or friends while the divorce is taking place. Or, stay in your residence, but refuse to have this boy there. He is only a stepson so let his real family take care of him. He sounds very dangerous.. Good Luck and stay safe!
2007-09-29 06:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by Joanie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being given all the responsibility for this boys criminal behavior but no authority to do anything about it. These codependent people are not going to change as long as they think they can coerce you into silence about your valid concerns. Divorcing this man and his family is the best course of action, if you are not his legal guardian, send this boy to the nearest blood relative with his sociopathic posters so they can experience this boy 1st hand.
You need a lawyer and to get this boy legally out of your household. Press charges against him and all his fellow culprits. Get a restraining order, his actions are not just a "kid" being a "kid".
Stay strong, do not backslide, the Police see so many women that they cannot help out of an abusive situation they sometimes have a thick skin with the ones who back down from following up with charges. If Grandma bailed him out, she deserves to put up with his "temprament condition".
2007-09-29 05:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by Acte Ahena Goelengal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be doing something about this NOW. I know your grandfather will feel dissapointed in his son but this is about YOUR safety. My mom's husband also molested me. If I would have done nothing about that, I would have been raped by now. Maybe you should talk to your mom about it or SOMEONE so this can be done in a more discreet way. You have to do something NOW though. Is there someone you can go stay with? An aunt? A very close family friend? Any other family member? That's what I ended up doing. I moved to live with my aunt in Texas and I used to live over in Pennsylvania with my mom. This is about your safety though, which is very important. I have been scarred for life with the memories from this guy and he didn't get to rape me, imagine if that would have happened... Please, do something now! I wish you the best of luck! Take care of yourself..
2016-05-21 04:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husbands family refused to support you in gettting the law to intervene about his behavior then I think it is time that he live with them ntil his father gets back. You need to protect yourself and your daughter and this young man is dangerously violent. If his father refuses to see his behavior for what it is then you need to serioiusly consider leaving that relationship. Try talking to the school and see if they have any program/intervention for the type of problems he has and beg them to get involved with finding a solution. There are resources out there for getting him help and if the school and his father don't intervene quickly it will soon be out of control and in the hands of the law anyway. In the meantime find a way to keep you and your daughter safe and start making an action plan immediately!
2007-09-29 05:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by o 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Messy situation, but if he's not your son and you're divorcing, it's no longer your problem, is it? Your husband and his family probably defend the kid because they're helpless to do more, and your husband probably wishes it was a phase because then he can carry on without any guilt over being away.
You've done what you could, but it wasn't enough. Don't bother with the police now, unless he's physically abusing you anew. It seems wise to separate from the husband you're divorcing and his troubled son sooner rather than later. Your daughter deserves a place where she and her things are safe--and so do you.
The one I feel bad for is the son. Yeah, he sounds just awful, but he's a *kid.* It sounds like nobody's going to step up and give him the help he needs, since they're all in denial and you're leaving.
2007-09-29 05:41:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to notify the authorities immediately and press whatever charges you can against him. This boy is in serious need of professional help. Call before something really serious happens or if his dad complains too much then tell his dad to come and get him. You do have him for a variety of charges including assault, animal cruelty, false imprisonment of your daughter for starters. He is bad news and shouldnt be around your daughter or you. Make the callnow
2007-09-29 05:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would just get a divorce and not have nothing to do with them no more and you should have called the police on him when he put his hands on you thats not right daddys are so blind to their children i am in the same situation and dont know what to do about it ! but if the family wont support you in this or the father then you need to break all ties and cut youre losses and get away from them good luck
2007-09-29 05:37:59 · answer #8 · answered by lil momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.k. First off, you should have called the cops long ago. I'm a Latina, and I have a Gay brother so I take offense to all of that. I wish you would tell me where this kid was, because I can go kick his *** my damn self. Don't ever let any man lay a hand on you, and if your ex-husbands family want to take his side, of course, they are his family, but don't be afraid, once that kid gets in jail he will get his believe me.....the tables will be turned.
2007-09-29 05:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're divorcing his father anyway, and his family wants to keep backing up this kid, than they need to take him and and get him out of your house! Let them see how it is to live with him. You were completely in the right to call the cops, and if his grandma can have enough money to bail the kid out, than she has enough money to take him in to live with her and support him. Next time, get a restraining order. It makes it that much worse if he breaks it. Keep you and your daughter safe, as everyone else has said. This kid (and your ex and family) have no respect for you, obviously, so don't respect them by trying to help this kid or by abiding to their wishes.
2007-09-29 06:08:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋